Finally happy!

[Ashlee]

Hi. I'm just writing this post because I'm extremely happy. Things are falling into place in my life right now. I haven't been happy in a long long time. I'm embracing life now, I'm starting to go out, I have true friends, and I just am really enjoying life to the fullest now. I went to group tonight, and it was a great night. Lot of support was proof. Afterwards I went to a gay club. It was a blast. I had so much fun people are so nice. Anyways here's a picture of me happy with no filters and I did my own makeup and hair

[tracy_j]

A lovely photo Ashlee! Much of the time we tend to have to pick our moments. I am glad you are getting yours. Happiness makes for more confidence and wellbeing. It makes me happier to hear

 

Tracy

[Makayla2019]

Look gorgoeous Ashley. Always good to remember things always get better. 

[Cyndee]

You do look happy Ashlee, how nice to get out with friends. It is true and has been said here on our forums, that removing the pain, denial,and suppression of our previous lives, increases overall wellness. I am very happy for you Ashlee. 

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

[Ashlee]

Thank you! Ups and downs but lately mostly ups ?. Yes, things will always get better. I tell myself that when I am feeling down but lately gave just been having fun. Enjoying who I am. I've made peace with the fact that I am not a cis woman and can never be a cis woman but I Am still a woman. I'm a trans woman and I am a proud to be me. @Cyndee the best thing I've done during my transition was to leave the negative people behind on my journey forward, that and coming out. Once I was out in the open life because a lot easier actually. 

[KymmieL]

That is fantastic that you are happy. I envy you. You look great too.

 

Kymmie

[Josie Beth]

I’m so happy for you Ashlee! I can’t wait until I can say the same thing. It’s so good to see someone who is blazing the trail just a little ahead who can say “it’s much better over the horizon!” 

[jae bear]

 Hey Ashlee, 

 what a fantastic picture !

 I find it’s always a blast to go out with your friends and have a good time, friends are often the one thing that get me by, and makes me feel good about myself, so I highly recommend them !  I find one of the hardest things to do is to love yourself, it seems like you have broken this barrier, fantastic news !

Hugs,

Jackie

[Ashlee]

Thank you all. @KymmieL thank you. Its such a good feeling finally being happy after so many years of depression and hopeless. 

10 hours ago, Josie Beth said:

I’m so happy for you Ashlee! I can’t wait until I can say the same thing. It’s so good to see someone who is blazing the trail just a little ahead who can say “it’s much better over the horizon!” 

Iyes, I can truly say it is much better over the horizon. So much better. 

 

10 hours ago, jae bear said:

 Hey Ashlee, 

 what a fantastic picture !

 I find it’s always a blast to go out with your friends and have a good time, friends are often the one thing that get me by, and makes me feel good about myself, so I highly recommend them !  I find one of the hardest things to do is to love yourself, it seems like you have broken this barrier, fantastic news !

Hugs,

Jackie

Omg it's soooo much fun now. Just not caring and going out. Loving yourself I think is definitely the toughest barrier to get through. I couldn't do it alone. I had aot of help and support over the last 6 months. 

 

I think the best thing for anyone to do is to find a way to accept yourself. Love yourself. Get rid of anyone who is negatively affecting your life. No matter who. I've lost cousins that refuse to talk to me and have shut me out of their lives but guess what. I go to family stuff and they don't. Im not missing out. They are. Also go to group therapy. It has helped me to know that I'm not wrong. I am not ashamed to be me anymore. I am not alone. Hold your head up high, be proud to be the person you are. We are all just people, human beings. All the different but all equally awesome in our own way. I actually have more fun now with my friends and family that accept me completely. I dress mostly female (I don't own any boy clothes anymore) and present as pretty much female all the time now. It doesn't bother my girlfriends at all and we always get called "ladies" Like "how are you ladies this evening" or "can I help you ladies" All the time now. They even call me her when ordering food or whatever. 

Once you accept yourself I think the rest will fall into place. 

Ashlee ♥️

[jae bear]

11 hours ago, Ashlee said:

Once you accept yourself I think the rest will fall into place. 

 

 Yes, absolutely, this is the key. Accepting oneself is absolutely necessary for the process of transition to begin, in my experience it could not happen before self acceptance. When I was 17 I begged my mother to help me find a way to transition ,  and I did have friends in the community that knew how to achieve this even if just Meant hormones and saving every penny you ever made to save for bottom surgery, yet I could not move forward since I had not even thought about the idea of accepting myself. When I was 29 I got really quite serious and had the bottles of hormones lined up on my bathroom counter, I couldn’t even bring myself to take one of those little green pills, again self acceptance was a vital component that I had not yet found. Finally I have accepted myself, and that allowed me to move forward into transition, there was no other way forward for me without accepting who I am and finding a way to love myself. 

 Surrounding yourself with supportive people is also very important, negative people can suck the fun out of anything, but it’s quite dangerous to have those people around when you are in transition.  Hopefully with time those who you have lost will come around to find they miss you, and they may return and accept you just as well, I’m hoping for some of the same results on the road for myself as I have lost most of my family these days, allowing them space and time as well and not holding a grudge is the only formula I can recommend for hoping they come back later on down the path. 

Hugs,

 Jackie

[Kirsten]

I’m so happy for you Ashlee! It is so very nice to be able to just have fun and be yourself. To be able to take pride in yourself and be happy with the person you see in the mirror. And to have friends that see that person too is worth its weight in gold! 

[Susan R]

On 2/16/2019 at 6:39 AM, Ashlee said:

Once I was out in the open life because a lot easier actually. 

You look wonderful, Ashley.  The photo shows just how well you've accepted yourself.  There doesn't seem to be any stress or worry.  You look genuinely happy with who you are.  I've only been out out as myself on a few occasions and it is wonderful but I'm not near as comfortable with myself as you are in this pic.  I look forward to getting to this point in my transition.  Thank you for sharing this good news.  It's all very inspiring.

 

Susan R? 

[Ashlee]

♥️ I gave up trying to hide myself. Honestly it was becoming harder to hide my transition than it was just to be me. It was mentally exhausting, physically exhausting. It was really obvious to everyone anyway. I have truly accepted me and stopped trying to be what others want me to be. Really, I have more support than hate. I've lost people but I don't think of them really even. I'm moving forward and not letting people drag me backwards. Nope nope nope lol

Ashlee ♥️♥️♥️

 

[RithiaAllen]

I don't understand how you could hide yourself. You look so feminine it seems like it would be a male fail.

[Josie Beth]

For sure! 

[Ashlee]

56 minutes ago, RithiaAllen said:

I don't understand how you could hide yourself. You look so feminine it seems like it would be a male fail.

It was definitely male fail. I thought I could hide it but nope. No facial hair and boobs made it impossible. I'm at the county fair actually as I'm typing this with a low cut shirt and cleavage not a care in the world. I'm with my friends having a blast. Yeah, it's impossible to hide now

Ashlee ♥️♥️♥️

[Ashlee]

Just now, Josie Beth said:

For sure! 

Lol. I'm definitely full time now. I don't do makeup every day  just mascara and powder on regular days with capries or my flare bottom jeans, which I love! My boobs are not hidable anymore so yup. Full time lol

[Susan]

Hello all. I am with ya on everything ashlee. I just got some more makeup at Walmart and there where other people shopping and no one even noticed or said anything.  I felt so good and happy to!!!

[Ashlee]

Just now, Susan said:

Hello all. I am with ya on everything ashlee. I just got some more makeup at Walmart and there where other people shopping and no one even noticed or said anything.  I felt so good and happy to!!!

Most people don't notice or care. I think people notice if you are nervous, not what you are buying. I bought a new bra today and got a discount because it had a small stain. I complained about it and they didn't have any more so they gave me a discount. They didn't care who was buying it, just that they sold it. 

Yup, im me. Im Ashlee and I need to wear bras so I buy bras. I by boy short style panties (soooo comfy) snd I "shop" for what I want. I'm proud and I'm going to show it and be confident. I've got 20/30 years left (hopefully) and I'm not about to waste one more minute of my precious time worrying if people care if i buy a bra or not. 

Nope nope

♥️Ashlee

[Josie Beth]

Don’t sell yourself short hon, you can actually make it 40-50 more years just because you are getting rid of testosterone. 

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

So I have to share that I am feeling happy today and wonderful.  I was at WalMart going grocery shopping and had 2 girls give me an awesome compliment on my Capri leggings and used the correct pronouns.  It really made my day.

[BrandiBri]

On 2/16/2019 at 1:10 AM, Ashlee said:

I just am really enjoying life to the fullest now.

Ashlee, that is a beautiful picture and I feel your happiness. It is so liberating to embrace the person that you are and just be yourself. I am happy that things are going well with you and that you have supportive friends.

 

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

I'm not near as comfortable with myself as you are in this pic.  I look forward to getting to this point in my transition.

Susan R, the more that you go out as yourself you will gain that confidence. I remember feeling apprehensive about leaving my house even two or three months after going full time, but now it does not bother me at all. Just remember that even if you don't feel confident, look as though you are. If you act nervous, people will notice and that will draw attention to you. 

 

Hugs to both of you,

Brandi

[Ashlee]

On 2/18/2019 at 1:13 AM, BrandiBri said:

Just remember that even if you don't feel confident, look as though you are. If you act nervous, people will notice and that will draw attention to you. 

Yes, I agree. I think people notice when we are nervous and they look at us then. I haven't been looked at or whispered about in a while, at least not that I've noticed. Who knows, people could be staring at me and I'm just in my own little world not caring or noticing lol. 

Ashlee ❤️

[Susan]

I agree with you ashlee. I was in the store looking at makeup and there was a gal couple of ladies looking to and they both didn't look at me wrong or say anything bad to me or others. They treated me normal. It was a sooo good of a feeling.  Just wanted to pass that on. Hugs all!!!!

[Ashlee]

Right, people really don't care that much. Most people are shopping and in their own heads. They don't care. Sales people don't really care and I know the establishment doesn't care who buys the products, just that they get bought. It's freedom for sure. My only problem now is spending too much on makeup and clothes lol