Hello and introduction...

[Iwy.13]

Hello there folks,

 

my name is Iwy, at least that is what I have come to call myself and I do find it neat that it is a short for Ivan, which is my civil name. For the time being at least.

 

I am not quite sure where do I start. Just as I am not quite sure of many things in my life. But alas, taking this action is one of many first steps that lurk ahead  on this journey.

 

So, here I am, 29yo, single, mtf deep in my heart for years, but only accepted my true self quite recently. Prior to that, my life was a mess of alcohol abuse, ignorance of future, poor decisions and the like. Ever since the epiphany that involved an arm and a knife, there was a major turn. I have come to accept myself for who I am, quit neglect of myself and started to enjoy sheer existence. I smile a lot more, I eat healthy, I do not drink, I even excercise and care for myself. For the first time in my life, I have found a serenity and joy of just beeing alive.

 

So here I am, writing an introduction while still quite confused about all that lies ahead. But I am thrilled to find a place like this. The journey ahead might be dark and full of terrors, but at least I now do know, who shall walk it 'till the end.

 

Cheers, Iwy

 

 

[Lucy]

Hi Iwy, glad to have you with us. 

 

Lucy x 

[Astrid]

Hi, Iwy!  On one level, it may seem like you're taking your first steps on a new journey.  But on another level, this is a simply a new level of awareness about your gender identity. Either way, wishing you the best of luck as you move forward!

 

As many here have recommended to others, finding a good gender therapist can be a great way to further explore gender issues.  Hopefully there are such people near where you live.  

 

Smiles,

 

Astrid

[ToniTone]

Hey Iwy, welcome! 

Cute name btw! I'm NOT being forward, just complimenting. 

 

I'm amazed how much your story feels relatable. I'm 32, amab androgynous femme. Sober 5 months. I just joined here like a week ago after finally accepting what I am and having no one to turn to. Deep down I knew this my whole life. But felt I had to put on the facade and be forced to accept societal "norms". But I'm tired of pleasing others and denying myself. At 32 I'm not getting any younger, I just want to be free and happy and be me again. Sorry I didn't mean to make it all about me... 

 

I hope you discover this happiness and freedom. This is a great, open-minded, welcoming forum community. May we all be here for each other! ❤️

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Iwy,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

It is scary, but the support I've found here has made seemingly impossible things possible. It will do the same for you.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ??

[Jani]

Dear Iwy, welcome!  I'm glad you found us.  Accepting yourself is an important step forward.  You can do it!  And make it last.   I agree that looking at life through a new prism can provide for a wonderful view we never have experienced.  I won't kid you that this journey won't be hard at times, but life is like that.   We get what we need when we open our hearts and minds to the possibilities in front of us.  And your whole life it in front of you.  Please join in the conversation!  

Cheers, Jani 

[Iwy.13]

Thank you all for your kind words. They are very much appreciated.

 

It's been just two weeks since I have written my first post here, but it sure did feel like much longer now that I think about it. Things happened. Good things so far. I have found my own place, where I can feel secure and be able to explore my feelings and emotions about everything, albeit behind closed door for now. Also I made contact with a local support group led by a girl who did undergo transition herself and an experienced counselor, I have missed the march session,  but am heading to their LGBT+ general meeting next week, to make a first physical contact so to speak. I have been given contact by another group, that is further away, but wery supportive. So, yeah, I am moving forward. 

 

Doing a lot of reading in the meantime and given that I come from Slovakia and did struggle to find sufficient info locally, I am thinking on volunteering some hours of my scheudle to start translating some english resources so people who do not speak english can catch up on all the great stuff and support that is out there. Will see how that goes

 

To Lucy - Hi there, glad to be here

 

To Astrid - I guess you are right. It has been something I knew since childhood, but never acted on.

 

To Toni - Well thank you, i have never been one to take offence regarding a nice compliment, well except when concerning the male me I guess, in retrospect now I see why was I allways so irritated by that. Nevertheless, I can relate. I do see a version of life that differs a lot from what I have been experiencing..

 

To Timber - Thank you for kind words. The reason I came here was to find an experienced  community, because I do understand, that going through all this solo, as I have done so far, is not the least bit good for one's well beeing. 

 

To Jani - Yes. I do see a world very different from what I have seen all my life. And to tell the truth, one of my first thoughts was that I'd rather endure while being true to myself, than keep slipping deeper into the rabbit hole of conformity, because therein dwells darkness that feasts on the fear, uncertainity and self loathing. 

 

Again, thank you all. I hope I can make this work and perhaps become a member who can in a meaningful way contribute to the community.

 

Cheers, Iwy.

 

 

[Jani]

Hello Iwy.  Thank you for the update.  It sounds like you are making progress.  This is wonderful.  Connecting with others locally is a good idea and if you can go, the group further away may be interesting.  Volunteering to translate information in English is a great idea!  

 

Cheers, Jani

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Iwy.  I'm so glad that you've found a local LGBT center and a trans counselor to help you on your journey.  I wasn't sure what, if any, resources were available in Slovakia.  You may be our first member from there.  I hope you've had time to look around the forums and find some of the resources and great discussion threads.  Please feel free to ask any questions.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie