When Life Gives You Lemons...

[Carolyn Marie]

I have been down lately, wondering how I would ever get out of the box I'm in. I've taken some steps towards showing my female side, buying cosmetics and jewelry and such. But I could never figure out how to get significant time alone at home to try any of it on. And the idea of getting clothes or shoes seemed out of the question, given the lack of places to hide things at home and again, the lack of time to be alone. It seemed pretty futile, an almost impossible dilemma, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.

Then, circumstances beyond my control intervened in my favor, sort of. My company announced that, because of budget cutbacks, we would have to have as many as 26 furlough days starting in July. That's akin to a 10-12 percent cut in pay, which is bad. I'm not happy about that aspect of it all. Once I got over that, though, I realized that it provided just the opportunity I was looking for; time alone at home, once every two weeks, with no chance of interruption! WooHoo!

Of course, I still have to figure out where to put any clothing I buy, but I'll figure something out. In the meantime, come July, Carolyn will be making her appearance. I can hardly wait.

Gimme that big glass of lemonade! Ahhhhhhh.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest cynthia]

From my own perspective, it's much easier in the long run to come out to the people you live with. I'm not telling you what to do, because you're the only one who knows the right thing to do in this regard. My wife is tolerant, but does not embrace the idea. I respect that by not fully dressing when she's around. On the other hand, I don't hide anything either. My clothes are in my closet and in my dresser drawers. Coming out didn't end my troubles, by any means, but I don't have to lie or hide anything, and that's lowered my stress level a lot.

Just my two cents.

Cynthia

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

Hi Carolyn

That is hard to deal with a pay cut ecspecailly with the economy like it is. The only thing I can suggest would be to find a place in the attic if you have one to put your makeup, clothes and accessories.What is furlough days? Is that time off? If so then that will give you time to experiment with makeup and dressing. I hope things look up for you soon!!

Alyssa

[Carolyn Marie]

From my own perspective, it's much easier in the long run to come out to the people you live with. I'm not telling you what to do, because you're the only one who knows the right thing to do in this regard. My wife is tolerant, but does not embrace the idea. I respect that by not fully dressing when she's around. On the other hand, I don't hide anything either. My clothes are in my closet and in my dresser drawers. Coming out didn't end my troubles, by any means, but I don't have to lie or hide anything, and that's lowered my stress level a lot.

Just my two cents.

Cynthia

Thank you Cynthia. I appreciate your advice very much. I am not happy about having to stay closeted, but my home situation does not, I fear, permit me to come out to my wife without very serious consequences for my family. I understand the risks of being found out accidentaly, and for now its the preferable risk. That may change in the future; I hope that it does. I would love to have the same level of understanding that you do with your wife. I just don't think its possible right now.

Carolyn Marie

[Sally]

I have avoided posting here because my coming out to my wife has ended in a lingering as yet unsettled divorce.

You have to do what is best for you, everyone's situation is different.

You may be able to handle the hiding for a while and that will be fine and you can work on how to come out.

The thought that everyone gets caught is not true, I am 57 and have dressed and purged for many years, while living with my parents and older sister, after she moved out, in my own apartments and while married before I came out - I was never caught so when I did come out to my mother she still doesn't believe it.

The point is we are all different and so are our situations, listen to the advice and take the parts that can work for you but don't just 'follow orders'.

You know what will work and what won't, follow your heart.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

'Sally' date='May 18 2009, 06:46 PM' post='69484']

The thought that everyone gets caught is not true, I am 57 and have dressed and purged for many years, while living with my parents and older sister, after she moved out, in my own apartments and while married before I came out - I was never caught so when I did come out to my mother she still doesn't believe it.

How true, Sally....This September will be 30 years for my wonderful wife and I......

I crossed dressed all during that time and she never knew! I thought that I was CD, but in actually I was Transgendered all along! When I came out to her late last year as a transsexual and that I had cross dressed all of those years (or whatever you would call it with me) she was more incredulous that she had never seen any iota of it , then she was at the fact that I had done it all of those years! Her words were ..."When? Where? What? How?...Yeah, we can be pretty sneaky!....lol

And now when I get home from work I dress "Gender Appropriately" ....she buys me things and helps me match tops and skirts and colors! She gave me a bunch of her older jewlery that she doesn't wear anymore and it was a treasure chest for me!

If you do it right and are smart you can go a lifetime and never get caught...but, I paid for it in guilt and shame!

But, no more!!!!

Carolyn Marie....you have fun and just be careful......OK?

Good....

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

I

You know what will work and what won't, follow your heart.

Love ya,

Sally

Sally and Donna Jean, thank you so much for your sage advice. "Follow your heart." Truer words I've never heard. As is often said in these posts, we don't travel an easy road do we? I will follow my heart. Thank you ladies, for everything.

Carolyn Marie