Our Friends In The U. K.

[Guest mia 1]

In therapy the other day my Dr. mentioned if I ever thought of what life in the U.K. might be like.....I misunderstood him at first thought..I believed he was referring to Victorian England and the movie The Ruling Class with Peter O'Toole,,where some of the nobility dressed in women's clothing and had private little parities among-st themselves....

He said Oh no I am talking about the attitudes in modern England where it is much more acceptable for men to appear in public dressed in women's clothing...

I said I had no idea that it was any more acceptable in the U.K. than it was in the U.S.

Does Any one have any ideas about this or know anything first hand.....

Always curious to know. Will wait for response.....Thanks Mia

[Guest Sophie H]

In therapy the other day my Dr. mentioned if I ever thought of what life in the U.K. might be like.....I misunderstood him at first thought..I believed he was referring to Victorian England and the movie The Ruling Class with Peter O'Toole,,where some of the nobility dressed in women's clothing and had private little parities among-st themselves....

He said Oh no I am talking about the attitudes in modern England where it is much more acceptable for men to appear in public dressed in women's clothing...

I said I had no idea that it was any more acceptable in the U.K. than it was in the U.S.

Does Any one have any ideas about this or know anything first hand.....

Always curious to know. Will wait for response.....Thanks Mia

I have to strongly disagree with this. I am not sure about which parts of the UK he is talking about, but I do not find that it is more acceptable here. At least not where I live. I think maybe in London where things are more modernized then yes maybe this is true, But certainly not in the little towns or villages where I live.

I always longed to move out of the UK to be more accepted. I certainly would not say that we accept it any better than anywhere else which is a sad truth.

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I was aware of this! Because I watch British tv alot!! While it doesn't say "we r more tollerant of men in womens clothes" directly, it does have a lot of specials involving transsexual couples! I just made the assumption they were more tollerent

G'bye for now! Charlotte

P.S. (I'm not actually going anywhere) lol

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Mia,

It's possible your doctor was talking about the "Gender Recognition Bill" that was passed in 2004...This will give you an idea of what it's all about...

http://www.grp.gov.uk/formsguidancefaq.htm

Metta Jendar

[Petra Jane]

I have to strongly disagree with this. I am not sure about which parts of the UK he is talking about, but I do not find that it is more acceptable here. At least not where I live. I think maybe in London where things are more modernized then yes maybe this is true, But certainly not in the little towns or villages where I live.

I always longed to move out of the UK to be more accepted. I certainly would not say that we accept it any better than anywhere else which is a sad truth.

I have to agree with Sophie, certainly NIMBY! (Not In My Back Yard) More likely than not to get lynched, certainly wouldn't have a job or be welcome in the neighbourhood at all. Would have to move, and fast!

[Guest Sergei]

I have to say that yes, London is great in terms of these thing. Everybody is extremely open minded here. I live and work openly as a transgender person, and have hardly ever had any trouble. I guess in smaller more narrow minded communities it would be different. But still, we have a lot of laws here to protect us.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Too much Montey Python, possibly. And I am sure people in Europe think people in Texas ride horses all the time because of westerns.

BUT there are little Meccas. New Orleans - the city proper - is very tolerant. I walked the "Quarter" this weekend and nobody noticed. One druck said to watch out while walking near the unbrellas on the sidewalk tables - then asked me 'lady, how tall are you?" So I was passing female (actually I was androgynous). And in a restaurant, a greeter told me 'we ask the gentlemen to remove their hats (baseball cap hiding my hair) so I was passing male. In New Orleans - a lot goes on.

I visited San Francisco years ago and saw tolerance for the gay community. I once lived in a gay-friendly community in Dallas, Oaklawn (near my wife's school). And when in Chicago, we walked through 'Boystown' on the way to Wrigley Field - and with my new Trandar ability, I saw a lot of people like me.

SO ? The big cities?

Maybe so

Lizzy

[Guest julia_d]

Well I guess it's good training at passing.. that's the only way to avoid verbal and physical violence. What use are laws if they aren't enforced? Where I live it's fine to abuse and use violence towards transpeople, and the attitude of the police is "serves you right for being queer"

Our case isn't helped by the way the media singles us out by finding the fame hungry losers and making a freakshow out of them. It cones to something when there is something on tv that then causes a few weeks of problems out on the streets. It's always the non passing overweight bad examples who seem to feel the need to shout the odds and get themselves outed in the national media.. with pictures which reinforce the freak stereotype.

It's not fair on those of us who just pass and are trying to have a normal life.. That's not even mentioning the state discrimination with half baked laws which force us out and into the world of hate and discrimination in employment. It's hard enough to get a job, but try when you have to produce a birth certificate to get a job.. when that doesn't match every official document you have.

I don't want special treatment.. I just want to be treated the same as everybody else with a little consideration that maybe I don't want to show a 43 year old out of date document which opens the doors to direct and legal discrimination.

You don't ever see transwomen who look like me in the media.. all you get are the ugly "blokes in frocks" .. That might seem pretty bad coming from a 40 something transwoman.. but it's what I see. All we ever get are the negative image reinforcement stories... but I'm not going to stand up and be ridiculed and outed by the horrid media. Don't fall for the tourist office hype. It's not a "tolerant" country.. it's a place full of jeering media and ingrained hate. I hear what people I help say behind my back.

When I leave it will be with no regrets.. good riddance to a country full of institutionalised prejudice and social discrimination which barely tolerates us.

[Guest Rachel05]

No I don't think we are any more accepting here in the UK, there is still a stigma about CDing in public and whilst I have ventured out on the odd occassion in some of the quieter parts and only for very short periods, I am still very cautious and wish I could be more brave and if I thought it would be more accpeted then I am sure I would be

R

[Sally]

I believe that the operative phrase here is, "The other man's grass is always greener." That's a quote so don't get mad at me because it said man's.

We tend to look somewhere else and see all that is good and better and so different from where we live, but in truth if you lived there instead of just reading and visiting most places are pretty much the same, a lot of good people a lot of bad and a mixed bag of tolerance.

I live in the wild west, we all have cattle and oil wells and the law belongs to the fastest gun - hey it's Texas.

Actually I live in a suburb of a large city and my life is pretty much like everyone else's - work, eat sleep, repeat!

We can all long for a better world but the only way to get there is to build it yourself.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest JoshuaJennifer]

I must say, I disagree with things being better here - I've been to California (san diego) and I live near London, and I must say - though I am only 16 - the UK seems on the same par as everywhere else - still as much transphobic paranoid thought and prejudice here >.>

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

For the most part here lies the truth… “The better you pass the more accepted you are!” No matter where you live-If you are not perceived as a threat to cisgender people that is, not greatly challenging their concept of gender the less hassled you will be-unless that is, one lives in a close knit religious community where hell fire and brimstone are on the menu …However in most big cities for example, NY, London, Sydney, Auckland, there are suburbs where the ‘live and let live’ attitude prevails and it’s quite possible for trans-identifiable people to go about their business unmolested…

On the whole Aotearoa’s a ‘live and let live’ kind of country, but there are certain areas of most cities and towns where trans-'identifiable' people are not welcomed with open arms…Even on the island where I live [which is known for it’s laidback alternative life stylers] a trans-lady I know was verbally abused by a car load of youth as she was walking down the street with here boyfriend, plus in the early stages of her 24/7 period she was at a club [on the island]- this cisgender woman went off her rocker when she saw her using the women’s toilets…

I could say for me Aotearoa’s the best country in the world for ‘trans-friendliness’-I’ve travelled in both the North and South islands and never had any problems whatsoever, but then again I ‘blend in’ so what people don’t know doesn’t hurt them…They are none the wiser..

My sister in the UK [south London] has transgender friends and one in particular[trans-identifiable] lives in a block of units with electronic doors and security guard-my sister said that she fears for her life and hardly ventures out…

No matter where one lives “The better you pass the more accepted you are!”

And like the anti discrimination laws passed in the US during the civil rights movement-beneficial social engineering programmes take time to filter down to the ignoramus-It could take a few years yet for trans acceptability to be global -the quicker these laws are passed worldwide, the faster the results…

I know I've rattled on some but are you sure Mia your counsellor friend wasn’t talking about ‘law wise’ acceptance in the UK because of the ‘Gender Recognition Bill’ ?

There are laws in place in the UK that protect trans-people-not necessarily from verbal or physical abuse but given time that change will take time…

Metta Jendar

[Guest Zenda]

There are laws in place in the UK that protect trans-people-not necessarily from verbal or physical abuse but given time that change will come…Oops another mistake one of many

Metta Jendar

[Guest Rebecca Quentin]

I wouldn't say that the average town over here is accepting at all, but agree that in London, it is definately much more accepted. However, bear in mind that even London can have its fair share of bigots & transphobes, but there is a strong transgender community. I don't live in London currently, used to for a few year but miss it terribly and want to move back there soon, and permanently.

[Guest leo]

i have to say ppl are more open here i think!

look at big brother!

but in small villiages and such they are VERY narrow minded and mis informed