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Your thoughts please


Emanda

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Hi all

I need to work out what I am.  Im now 53 and confused.

I love to xdress...more and more. I am now doing make up and really trying to pass.  I fancy women and women dressed like women..i.e  skirts dresses  nylons etc

So I fancy women that much I like to be one.

However I'm not gay but when im xdressed I would love a man to come onto me and touch me and so on.

So confused 

Love any thoughts suggestions or advice

Thank you

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Emanda.  Your confusion will eventually pass when you come to terms with all this.  Because you crossdress doesn't mean you're gay.  You might try to seek out a counselor, either in person or on-line.  Sexuality and gender identity are two different aspects of our lives.  Often times when we experiment with our gender, sexual undertones we might have hidden or denied are free to rise.  Don't be alarmed.   Be you! 

 

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Hugs,

Jani

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Many thanks for your replies

I just don't get it still

I'm still confused 

I'm a crossdresser..I'm ok with that ..my SO isn't.  

However it's when xdressed that I get excited at the thought of a man wanting me

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  • Forum Moderator

This is where having a talk with a therapist would be helpful.  Is this a fetish type of thought?  Or excitement on being who you see yourself as?    

 

Your SO will come around, or not.  Know this is about them coming to understanding what they want in life as much as understanding you.  Many of us here (me included) are very much the same person that we were, albeit in feminine (or masculine) form.  Once my spouse saw that she warmed up to me being real.  

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I am no therapist here so I do not want to give any advise.  I do want to just say how there is a broader spectrum of just CIS and Trans.  There is Gender Fluid where you flow back and forth between the 2x genders, there is of course the standard Gay and Lesbian.  Then there is just the idea of Cross dresser, or it could also be a fetish.

 

I am just giving a broader spectrum of ideas, but I am no therapist and just want to help with ideas to think about and that only you can know who you are and a therapist is there it help guide you.

 

Lots of Love

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Hello Emanda. For the sound of it, it looks like you're having problems with your gender identity. Since you love to xdress, and I am assuming you do shows, you could possibly have those feelings. If you enjoy doing it for entertainment, but wouldn't really go out in public and dress and act like a woman, you might just get enjoyment by dressing up. Though you say you fancy woman and would really enjoy being one, that might also be a sign you could possibly want to transition. Also, you could just be like the big Jeffree Star. If you aren't sure who that is, I would say look them up. They don't exactly go by any gender but yet they don't care what you call them. They look very fem but also masc. They really enjoy makeup and dressing nicely in gender neutral clothes. They have their very fem days and their slightly masc days. Also, he is very fun to watch. <3 

 

For your sexuality, you can be so many things but gay. I, myself, am pansexual. I don't exactly care about the gender, but the way they treat me. You could possibly be bisexual. If you strictly only like men and women. Nothing in between, and no one that transitions. In my opinion, I would see a gender therapist. That helps so much. 

 

I hope you figure yourself out and don't have rough times doing it. 

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