In Memoriam

[Guest Nikk]

This is a poem I wrote quite a while ago (read: a few months ago) during one of my hopelessly optimistic "right now sucks, but things will get better!" moods about who I was and how I've grown to the person I am and how I will become the person I will be.

In Memoriam

Here’s to the girl I am no longer.

The little girl who played dress up

She played kissy girls in Kindergarten

And was the only one who kissed a boy.

She didn’t believe in cooties, and

Worshipped Pikachu.

Here’s to the little girl that had a best friend.

She learned the word manipulative too early

And she got extra-skilled in making up

After a fight.

She collected American Girl dolls,

But played with her stuffed animals.

Here’s to the girl who excelled in math,

She wanted to become a physicist,

Believed that gravity was optional, and

The world would be better off without friction.

She wrapped a stuffed snake around her neck.

It was called snakey.

Here’s to the girl who watched too much TV

Read too little, and hated to write.

She wanted to be a wildlife veterinarian in Australia

And she would have a pet platypus.

She wanted to be a druid priestess.

Here’s to the girl that loved the ocean

She skimmed over the top of the waves,

Just to do it again.

She loved the fish, and the dolphins.

And she loved building castles in the sand.

Here’s to the girl who knew how to put on makeup

Without becoming a clown.

She lost her “best friend” and she tried to be someone new.

The girl put her faith in broomstick skirts,

Bright pink polish smothered her nails.

She discovered poetry, and melody.

Theatre was her home.

Here’s to the girl who had a guy best friend

And he taught her to play video games

Everyone thought they were dating, but they weren’t.

She called him Baka.

And she learned how to make dirty jokes.

She poured her nights into books,

Flipping through pages at lightning speed,

And discovered fantasy worlds.

Here’s to the girl that discovered words

She spun stories out of imagination

And was herself for once,

She was never happier.

The girl discovered the power of requited love,

And she wished she hadn’t.

She had to leave it all behind.

Here’s to the girl who started afresh

And lost the golden friends.

She poured her heart into writing

Discovered that she related to the boys better.

And she acknowledged a male part of herself.

He held his breath for the future.

Here’s to the boy she became.

He discovered the makeup as vestigial,

Poured his heart into writing,

Discovered that he could be a male on a page.

And he wished that he could be that honest in real life.

He just wanted to be understood.

Here’s to the boy I am.

He understands that he’s the only one who thinks so.

And he knows that he’ll have to keep up the façade

Just a bit longer…

Maybe he’d be himself eventually.

Here’s to the man I will become.

[Sally]

Beautifully written and so touching.

Sad but with the slightest glimmer of hope and after all that is all we have.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Nikk,

I have never read any poem so eloquent in describing what is happening with all of us!! I am very touched by your poem!!

Keep writing dear, you have the gift!!

Love

bernii

[Guest Neuro]

This is really amazing... you ARE a good writer.

I don't think I came across such a kind sendoff to a past self before, it is really inspiring imagery!

[Guest 1charlotte1]

Awww! I feel the connection! Which means your job as a writer was done well! Bravo!! U have an excellent voice in your writing.

Hugz, Charlotte

[Guest Nikk]

Thanks guys <3 I'm really glad that other people were able to connect - especially since it's so self-focused. <333

[Guest Sophie H]

So very touching. We have some wonderful writers on this forum, it's amazing.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

MY MY MY So good...

What can I say?

How 'bout MORE - give us more!

Lizzy