Hi I'm Rita

[Ritacd0]

I am heterosexual ,and thoroughly enjoy the sight of an attractive lady, ( whilst getting styling tips too!) I must say I can say there are some attractive gurls too.

I have been inclined this way all my life starting at about 9, I remember trying on mum's and sisters stuff when no one was home.
Later in life I tried wearing some of their stuff one day. Liked it. Tried a bit more. Liked it more.

So... I reluctantly faced up, and admitted to myself that I was now, embarrassingly.... a cross dresser.  It wasn’t a sexual thing, I just liked the look and feel of them and

when I was dressed, I just felt right. I didn’t think of myself as a girl, just that wearing those clothes was something I should be doing.
I felt some shame about that. This was when I was in my 20's Now, of course, I see it is more complicated.

I in no way try and be what is termed convincing so never really dress fully as a woman but more like to "underdress" in stockings and lingerie.
I now realise that, there is something in me that I want to express and enjoy. It is not merely a fetish.
I have no wish to change gender. I am happy with who and what I am. However... I still puzzle over the apparent strangeness of what I do.

A further complication is that I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer when I was 50 (I'm now 70) and had Brachytherapy as a treatment and it worked real well my PSA was <0.5 for 15

years then it started to rise again and I am now on a drug called Bicalutamide which is a testosterone blocker, so now I have 46B boobs which I really enjoy having.  But I'm

alive a reasonably healthy so life goes on.  Having breasts is wonderful I love it and now I would rather have them than not have any.

[Charlize]

Welcome Rita.  I also remember feeling shame about my feelings.  I am 70 as well and  being "manly" was always stressed as being important in my life.  Being here has helped me on a path to self acceptance.

Glad you've joined us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Hello Rita.  Welcome.  There is nothing to feel shameful about.  You're not hurting anyone and yet you are being who you are as it makes you comfortable.  This is fine!  You can puzzle over it but you may never find a good answer.  Please join in the conversation.  There are many like mind individuals here.

 

Jani

[JustKatie]

37 minutes ago, Jani said:

Hello Rita.  Welcome.  There is nothing to feel shameful about.  You're not hurting anyone and yet you are being who you are as it makes you comfortable.  This is fine!  You can puzzle over it but you may never find a good answer.  Please join in the conversation.  There are many like mind individuals here.

 

Jani

Exactly this Rita!

 

Whilst I'm looking towards full transition you should know that you have nothing to be ashamed about.

You aren't doing anything that is hurting somebody else just something that you enjoy and where's the problem with that?

[tracy_j]

Hi Rita,

 

Welcome

 

Tracy

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Rita,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ??

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Rita,  Please have a look around the forums and post where you like, with whatever questions you might have.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie