Me And My Big Mouth

[Guest Sophie H]

Okay, so I was watching television with my mum this evening when the news came on about a 66 year old woman having IVF treatment to have a baby. I was in a terrible mood anyway and went into this big rant about how wrong it was and how disgusted I was at this and how dangerous it would be, not to mention how unfair it would be on the child. Anyway this got my mums back up and she got angry so I just shouted "If women were meant to have babies at that age they would have been naturally born with the ability to do so, and not have to resort to these measures.

She then turned round and said, "That's rich coming from someone who is going against his birth gender and becoming a woman" She then ranted on about being a hypocrite and such, I fully deserved this comment from my mum and I was out of order, trouble is the whole thing is really playing on my mind now and I just feel so bad, I said I was sorry and she just ignored me - the only good thing to come out of it was that I now know that mum does still know I plan to transition still.

[Sally]

We all have little 'blind spots' in our tolerance of others, this issue just shows one of yours.

Do you think that you might be able to talk to her and this is just my opinion, not being a therapist but I think that your anger about all of this work to let a 66 year old woman have a baby is due to the fact that everyone seems fine with this but your need to become a woman is not and the fact that want them or not you will never be able to give birth and yet they are 'moving Heaven and Earth' for her to 'go against nature.'

That is my opinion and to me explains why you would be upset - it is actually consistant with your frustration over your need to transition and not having any support even from your mother.

Just a thought from a lady with a lot of time to think and no real support either.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sophie H]

I think you are correct Sally, I will speak to mum in the morning when hopefully we have both calmed down and will be able to put this behind us and make friends again. Thank you for the advice Sally x

[Sally]

You are so welcome, I hope it helps.

I find that my friends see my situation so much clearer than I do - it's so easy when looking at it from the outside.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sarah Marie]

I think you are correct Sally, I will speak to mum in the morning when hopefully we have both calmed down and will be able to put this behind us and make friends again. Thank you for the advice Sally x

Sophie -- This is a very healthy plan. Clearly something in the program touched a nerve in your mother as well as you. With cooler heads things should look a lot different.

[Guest Sophie H]

Just to update - me and mum are talking again which is nice. She came and gave me a hug first thing this morning which was really nice.

[Sally]

That is so great.

She does love you and maybe will be able to understand your need if not the cause.

Good luck and always try to be patient with her, she needs time too.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

I think that the case of the 66 year old woman and you can not be compared.

The woman had time enough to get a baby. Why she want to have it now and not not 30 years earlier? I also think that she is not in a bad mood if she will not get a baby.

On the other hand your situation. You are dealing with your live and if you do not change your gender you are in a bad mood the rest of your life. You are doing it with your body. She is doing it with her body and the body of her child. No one asked the child if it want to have an old mother. The child will be very young when the mother die. Maybe it is not old enough to stay alive by it own. Is this good for the child? I think no and that is the big different. You only risk your live but the 66 old woman risk also the live of her child and that is not good.

If you take all the new technology biside, she will never get a baby with 66 but you are able to change your gender role. You can dress and act like a woman. You onyl stay in a male body.

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest leo]

wow sally came and sorted you out before others got to post lol!

i also hate putting my foot in it and my mother comes out with simular comments

but glad your talkin again

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Happy ending! Your momma NAILED YOU! But she showed you something too.

I was soooo transphobic and homophobic and phobiaphobic when I was younger (last year).

I still wince when I see the Jerry Springer 'man-in-a-dress' transperson or cross-dresser, but now for a different reason. The EXPLOITATION of it all.

I wasn't a hateful person, I just didn't want homosexuality shoved down my throat - and I couldn't transition (I thought) so why is everyone else allowed to do it [sour grapes]... and my therapist said: YOU ARE A TRANSSEXUAL, here are your options.

Well, that's different.

Yikes! It is like the person who sees someone with an uncorrected club foot, or with a disfiguring skin disease, or Down's Syndrome - and that person says, 'thank GOD that's not me!" HORRIBLE

So we really learn eventually, we are all different, but really all the same.

I try hard not to judge. I mean being transsexual is rather controversial in society, and a FEW people don't really make much effort to understand. [There is an understatement!] I am not perfect. I STILL don't like public displays of affection - hethero or homosexual. But I now understand a passion that same sex people can share. And am I homosexual myself? In a way - I want surgery and to use it to experience life as a woman. I've always wanted that.

I still don't like the 'man in a dress' displays, but really want to take these people aside and explain age - and season - and style appropriateness. Obviosly their mother's and sisters never PROPERLY initiated them into womanhood! And to say the money they pay you on TV to make an asse outta yourself is KILLING US, the real crossdressers and gender dysphoric. DON"T DO IT!

So we go through life and say things we don't mean about things we don't understand.

It's not right, but we do it - the saving grace is we usually get educated and smarter and more tolerant - well... aught to!

SO

NEVER get set in your ways! ALWAYS watch and learn.

YEAAAAA

opinionated Elizabeth is back!

[Guest Sophie H]

Happy ending! Your momma NAILED YOU! But she showed you something too.

I was soooo transphobic and homophobic and phobiaphobic when I was younger (last year).

I still wince when I see the Jerry Springer 'man-in-a-dress' transperson or cross-dresser, but now for a different reason. The EXPLOITATION of it all.

I wasn't a hateful person, I just didn't want homosexuality shoved down my throat - and I couldn't transition (I thought) so why is everyone else allowed to do it [sour grapes]... and my therapist said: YOU ARE A TRANSSEXUAL, here are your options.

Well, that's different.

Yikes! It is like the person who sees someone with an uncorrected club foot, or with a disfiguring skin disease, or Down's Syndrome - and that person says, 'thank GOD that's not me!" HORRIBLE

So we really learn eventually, we are all different, but really all the same.

I try hard not to judge. I mean being transsexual is rather controversial in society, and a FEW people don't really make much effort to understand. [There is an understatement!] I am not perfect. I STILL don't like public displays of affection - hethero or homosexual. But I now understand a passion that same sex people can share. And am I homosexual myself? In a way - I want surgery and to use it to experience life as a woman. I've always wanted that.

I still don't like the 'man in a dress' displays, but really want to take these people aside and explain age - and season - and style appropriateness. Obviosly their mother's and sisters never PROPERLY initiated them into womanhood! And to say the money they pay you on TV to make an asse outta yourself is KILLING US, the real crossdressers and gender dysphoric. DON"T DO IT!

So we go through life and say things we don't mean about things we don't understand.

It's not right, but we do it - the saving grace is we usually get educated and smarter and more tolerant - well... aught to!

SO

NEVER get set in your ways! ALWAYS watch and learn.

YEAAAAA

opinionated Elizabeth is back!

I agree with everything you have said Lizzy. And feel the same way in most of the things you have said. Thank you for taking the time to reply