OK, I’ll say it, I have no idea who I am, I just know it’s not who I look at in the mirror

[Rihanne S]

Not only did I wait til mid life to start searching for who I am, I waited 18 years to tell my wife how I feel, and now she resents me for “what I did to her.” Add the fact that I am military and can’t come out at my job (even if it were just as a cross dresser) because of my male dominated aircraft mechanic field, I’d be laughed and ridiculed out of the state. My family is devout southern and catholic, meaning they won’t accept me, and even if by a miracle my wife would let me dress at home, we now have two small boys we just adopted, and I won’t put them through this confusion. HELP !!!!!!!

[Ellora]

Hi, I have always felt I was female and didnt understand why I was feeling different from the way looked on the outside. I couldnt talk about this with anybody growing up, times are different, and in some ways they are not different. I grew up catholic and then southern baptist, so i could talk about this with my family, friends or the clergy. I am getting close to telling a friend, but im not ready to tell my older kids, or extended kids ( they call me daddy, and too young to confuse (atm, imo).) I might know how you feel, but i havent been in the military and understand , my dad was(is) a marine.

I am sorry that your wife got upset, and that you are not able to talk to anyone atm. That is tough holding this inside. I will tell my friends and others someday. I have started HRT , almost 2 months in, and i havent told anyone except my Primary Dr, my pharmacists, and a close friend.

I am not in a rush to tell everyone, and I will say this to you, do not rush, and take the time to read, and seek out a gender therapist if possible. We are here to try to listen and help if and when possible, so you have people that will listen to you. Do not feel that you are alone. Each day I feel better, of course there are always the ups and downs, but trying to remain positive helps. In time you will learn more about your true self, and I hope you well on your journey. ?

 

[Lexi C]

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Hey Rihanne. Ellora advice is good advice. I am on month 4. I wake up every day freak out, disgusted at how I look, scared I made the wrong choice. I told the few friends I have and my fam ( expect my Mom. I never had a dad). I too was raised Catholic and my mom is already mention her distain for me coming out as a gay person. All this said, I just found a gender therapist and it helping me out. I don't think about killing myself every time I look into a mirror. It's going to take time for both us. And I am willing to put the time in I hope you do as well...good luck, Be Proud and Stay Strong

[Ellora]

3 hours ago, Alex C said:

Hey Rihanne. Ellora advice is good advice. I am on month 4. I wake up every day freak out, disgusted at how I look, scared I made the wrong choice. I told the few friends I have and my fam ( expect my Mom. I never had a dad). I too was raised Catholic and my mom is already mention her distain for me coming out as a gay person. All this said, I just found a gender therapist and it helping me out. I don't think about killing myself every time I look into a mirror. It's going to take time for both us. And I am willing to put the time in I hope you do as well...good luck, Be Proud and Stay Strong

Hi! Thank you for your compliment =)! It truly helps when we can talk about or thoughts, and concerns. I’m happy that you found a therapist that can help you and some friends and family that you can talk to. 

The mirror can be both a friend and not. Day by day, I feel better every day, especially when I have time to wear my fav clothes and after starting HRT. Small victories can feel big. 

Best of luck in your journey! ?