Tips for a closeted MtF

[Anyatimenow]

Hi everyone! I was just wondering any tips because I am still in the closet mostly with my family and would like to know any ideas on how to feel more feminine? Any help would be great. Thank you!

[ToniTone]

That's a vague question to answer, for me at least. And I'm new to transitioning and being out, so I'm no expert. 

 

Now this might seem ridiculous, and unsatisfyingly simple. But try little, subtle things that are girly. Try a few eyeliner pencils, or lip gloss. Or heck even a bold lipstick. If you like goth fashion, try gothing up. If you feel bold enough, try going out with it on to a safe place with friends. 

 

Well, it worked for me anyway when I was younger... Hope you find yourself! ❤️

 

~Toni

[Ellora]

Hi! If you need to be discreet... Buy Burt’s pomegranate, it can give off a reddish hue. Wear women’s underwear, or men’s Jockey bikini underwear. Fruit of the loom A-shirts of different sizes can be worn as tanks, skirts and dresses. A light tough of mascara. Short running shorts. Wear your hear in a bun or pony tail, or buy hair clip/ extensions. 

Thats the outside. The roast is up to you on how comfortable you feel when and where you can be YOU. Best of luck with your journey ?

[Lexi C]

Hey I used to be in yr situation. I was afraid to wear anything that would be consider fem. The smallest , tiniest hint and either my friends would make fun off me or my fam would start questioning me. So  hide I started with wearing woman panties and none showing bar. I would always layer so not to draw attention.I did this for over 35years. One day after my ex found my stash of women clothing and comfort me. I broken down and told her I had a problem and just like that I stop wearing fem clothes, stop with my fem traits..Cold Turkey....Became macho, start to hit on girls at bars with my friends...all male all the time....I lasted 5yrs...worse five yrs of my life...You cant hide what you want to be..its ok to be you...I lost some friends, Fam still lv me and I am learning to lv myself, I been CD for the last 5yrs full time and 4months ago I start my HRT's...not saying it else, every day I think I am making a mistake..I keep asking myself; " Made its a sexual fetish. I am ok just CD and playing", but its empty feeling hiding from the truth..Not sure how old you are, but I can tell one thing, better to start young then waiting until yr middle age..Good luck   sorry rambling. I hope this helps

[Anyatimenow]

Thank you all! I will try these suggestions and I hope you all are doing alright in your lives. I hope you can all be happy!

[Raven1981]

Hello:

 

As someone that is living full time for the past 19 months and been on hormones for 15 months.  I would have to say start small if you want to hide and stay in the closet.  A few ideas would be like wearing a sports bra and panties under your male clothes would be a good way to hide but feel fem.  I would hold off on the makeup.  Dont know if you have long hair or short hair, but start to let your hair grow out and start taking extra care of your hair.  You can start shaving your face and under arms and chest and legs and bottom area.  These are just a few ways that you can help feel fem and yet be able to hide it and go out in public without people noticing.

 

Just a heads up that usually mothers are typically the first to even know.  No matter how well you try to hide, mothers will know but they will tend to stay quiet till you are ready to come out.

[KymmieL]

Depends on what your situation is. Panties and a bra are one way. use nail polish on your toe nails. clear on your fingernails. If anyone asks about your finger nails say you are trying to find a way to strengthen them. Even before I came out to anybody I shaved my legs. Anyone asks, I like it. I have never had anyone ask though and I have shaved my legs since 2002.

 

Most ladies jeans look like jeans. That is all I have now. woman's tank tops just look like a tank top.

 

I am only out to my wife at home. I think my 3 sons suspect it. But never said anything. I have been on Spiro for almost a month. Slight changes. I haven't cut my hair in almost a year. Just need to get it styled. but I am never cutting it short again. Observe and learn about walk, talk, act like a lady.

 

just remember were there is a will there is a way.

 

Kymmie

[Astrid]

Hi!

 

Regarding nail polish, you might want to take a look at a (clear) matte (rather than shiny) top coat.  By itself, it will be difficult for others to distinguish that you have anything on your nails.  And if you find a subtle nail polish color (for example, one that closely matches your skin tone), adding the matte top coat will really tone the effect down as well.  Meanwhile, you can go wild on your toenails <grin>

 

Have fun!

 

Astrid

[Anyatimenow]

Thank you all for your help. I will do what I can to feel more comfortable and hopefully be able to come out soon.

[ToniTone]

On 5/6/2019 at 7:13 PM, KymmieL said:

Ive been on Spiro for almost a month. Slight changes. I haven't cut my hair in almost a year. Just need to get it styled. but I am never cutting it short again. Observe and learn about walk, talk, act like a lady.

 

Whoa, me too Kymmie! A month and a week now. And I'm never cutting my hair short again either. 

 

I like all your advice. Particularly about jeans and tank tops (it is summer soon after all). I have over the years (before I even realized fully I'm transfeminine or came out) collected both mens and women's (and unisex) jeans, tank tops and t's. Alot of times I couldn't tell the difference or care, I just liked the style!

 

~Toni