Gender identity in dreams

[Probably Autumn]

I'm starting to embrace the idea that I'm MTF, but there are still so many doubts swimming through my head and this is one of the most confusing ones:

 

Ever since I started questioning my gender I've been dreaming quite vividly, but in every dream I exist as male and never as female. So whenever I wake up in the morning I wonder if I still think I'm a woman any more, or whether the feelings and revelations I've been having are legitimate. Is this even close to a normal trans experience? If my gender identity was consistent then I'd feel much more confident in the idea of transitioning. (I thought I was gender fluid for a time, but I eventually grew to view this as being MTF in denial as I still hadn't gone out in public presenting as a woman; when I finally did present as female publicly a couple of weeks ago it felt very joyous/affirming.)

 

But now I keep alternating between accepting my identity and then later thinking that I'm totally full of -crap-, and I'm sick of it. So to all the trans folks out there: what gender are you in your dreams? Did you have a similar experience to what I'm describing at the start of your transition/egg cracking?

[Charlize]

Welcome to Trans Pulse Autumn.

Through much of my childhood i dreamed of being female only to remember waking to another day of being a boy.  Now i do remember dreams where i'm female as well as some in which i'm male.  Mostly as i wake and think back the me i've seen in my dreams is a bit of both.

I don't think we can assume our dreams are foretelling a path for us.  I found help in posting and reading here, working with a gender therapist and speaking to those who were living as the gender they had chosen rather than the one they were assigned.

Enjoy your time here.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[killjoyaiden]

You are male in your dreams because that may be how you look in real life. Just because you don't have dreams where you're female doesn't mean you aren't trans. I actually don't dream very often, close to never, so I rarely had a dream where I was male. You'll be okay. Regardless of your dreams, if you're more comfortable being female, then you're female. Ignore the dreams for a little bit and evaluate your brain without them.

 

My messages are ALWAYS open!!

 

Stay safe and stay alive,

Aiden

[lauraincolumbia]

I'm not going to comment on the content of dreams.  Its not very well understood by anyone. That being said...

 

You dream more then you think.  You just might not remember them.  Dreaming is part of REM Sleep, the deep part of your sleep cycle.  REM sleep is the most restful and important for regenerating not just your brain but other part of your body.  In lab studies, depriving rats of REM sleep dramatically shortens their lives dramatically.  

[ToniTone]

I have dreams in 1st person perspective, like from the view of my own eyes. So I usually don't see much of myself. I guess I'm just me in my dreams. 

 

I've had a couple sexual dreams where I'm a woman. I'll spare the details...

<.<

 

I hardly ever dream about gender. I had this one dream though where I was a woman. I had long, wavy brunette hair, and I was in like a mental institution. I was freaking out over this stone cross outside my window. This was symbolic of something I'm sure... I remember feeling right about being a woman in the dream. It just felt normal and right, I didn't even really think to hard about that. I was more confused about the other symbolism.

[gaynoodle76]

Like Toni said, I also dream from a first person perspective, so I usually don't see myself. 

 

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that I was a man, though. In my dream I saw myself, a man, get out of a red truck. I just recognized the man as me. It was very weird. I also had a dream before that that I was starting testosterone and that I was happy. Otherwise, I can't really remember any dreams where I've been male [I'm AFAB]. I know a lot of trans people say they had dreams where they were the opposite gender, but you definitely don't need that to be trans. 

 

 

[Probably Autumn]

Thanks for the responses, folks. To clarify a few issues brought up: I always dream in first person and I don't really see myself in them, the only way I know I'm male in them because everyone calls me by my old name and treats me as a man. Perhaps I don't question it in the dreams because it's how I've always been treated and how I still am treated by nearly everyone (I'm still mostly closeted). I can only remember one dream of actively being a woman (back in 2017), but that was when it was my soul possessing the body of another woman (quite a weird experience but not unpleasant). I forget nearly all my recent dreams, but they leave their mark on me when I wake up. If I could wake up looking like a woman I might be happier, but of course if I looked more like a woman in general I'd be happier.

 

A recent dream I remember well was one I had before I was going to get laser hair removal on my face. In one night I first dreamt that I had a beard and I was okay with it, and then secondly that I was having a very hard time getting to the laser clinic (it was on an island and I needed to get the ferry there.) The next morning I panicked and cancelled my appointment. I still dislike my facial hair now so I kinda regret that, but I'm also glad to have taken the time to think the decision over first before going for it. So that may indicate how influential the dreams I'm having are over my thoughts and decisions, for better or worse. If my feelings while awake keep persisting then I may try again to start on LHR and further steps to transition. 

[Kirsten]

If dreams meant anything I’d be trapped in an amusement park with food chasing me! Yes that’s a recurring  dream I’ve had since I was like 6. I also dreamed that I fell off cliffs thousands of times. I’ve dreamt that my parents love and support me as long as I can remember. I dream as male or female. Nothing seems to mean a thing. I am amab I am a trans woman. I haven’t ever been eaten by food and I’ve never fallen off a cliff.

I tend to think of dreams as unfinished thoughts. Left over bits from life that jumble in our heads. Sometimes maybe they do mean things. But they can’t always mean something. I had way too many crazy ones. Lol. So how do you choose? You don’t. Just wake up and live.  My 0.02

[michelle_kitten]

I think part of dreams is mental garbage dumping.  I know I've had dreams where I've more or less relived bad experiences or fears from some years ago, which were intense experiences.  I've had dreams where I've been trying to get to work on time for jobs I haven't had for years, but there is just one more thing to do before I can leave for work.  More recently, I had a dream where my ex-wife sent our daughters home on a Greyhound Bus while we were on some family vacation.  In the dream my now adult daughters were like 10 and 12.  My daughters are 18 and 20 now, and I haven't seen my ex-wife in almost three years.  At one point, I had a fear my ex would take the kids and leave me holding major child support payments.  Minnesota is unkind to fathers in that respect.

 

I recently had my first dream as a girl.  I don't remember much about it, so I can't even remember how it made me feel.  I think as I get closer and closer to deciding to transition, those girl dreams will be more common, but I have a lifetime of guy garbage to dump.  I am

sure guy dreams will persist for some time.  Oddly, I've had dreams of half dressing as a girl in public for years, off and on.  Some were embarrassing, where others were much more pleasant.

 

I wouldn't read too much into dreams.  I think a rare few are our minds talking to us in pictures and emotions, but most are just our minds clearing away old stuff to make room for new.