Angry, Sad, And Downright Disgusted

[Guest Melanieshaman]

Ok, i sit here at my computer after a shower, shave, and getting dressed and i am sick to my stomach. The reason? My dress slacks, dress shirt and my dress shoes... not my shorts, t-shirt and pink and black tennies shoes i wear all the time. I have to go to a job fair, and put on this "fake front" and i hate it. I wish i could expediite the whole transistion process and be going as i know i should be going... but i can't... I am way old enough to know better than to let this get to me, but it does. It's funny that i never really thought about it much before. I mean i always wear panties and a bra... today i am wearing a shaper as well... so i do have that underlying femininity, but the exterior makes me sick... sorry for the rant, i just needed to get that off my chest.

[Guest CharliTo]

Sigh I understand what you mean I wore a suit last year for events because I wasn't that out back then.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ugggggggh

Well - I am finally getting a job interview. Do I cut my hair?

I certainly cannot show up in a skirt... I guess it's the ole male dress code again... but I gotta eat!

Lizzy

[Sally]

We are all there with you, I'm on my way out of the door in full male mode - Yikes!

Day after day it doesn't get any easier to put on the guy suit and go into the world wishing you were in a cute spring dress or at least a suit tailored for a woman, but not yet - someday and then someday sooner than you thought and you will be out there with the sun and the breeze on your legs and a hand on your skirt so it doesn't blow to far in the wind.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

I hate it, too.........

I have to present male everyday for work.......but the lines are getting a little more blurred as I transition....

But that doesn't mean that I like it! I wear a ball cap at work all the time and most people have no idea that I have a 17" long ponytail!

And, no, Lizzy.......Don't cut your hair....that is what Axel grease is for......lol

And, Melanie....take heart, Sweetie......Lizzy and I do electrolysis and we have to not shave for 3-4 days before an appointment...that REALLY is horrid!

Don't worry....we'll all make it!

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

[Guest DeniseNM]

Melanie I know what you mean and it is hard to have to pretend to be who we aren't but we do have to live in the world though. Someday you will be able to live as who you truly are. As to being old enough to know better than to let this get to you, you know in you head you shouldn't let it get to you but, and this is a very large but, that is your head not your heart which has to do with emotions. Your heart don't always know what your head knows.

Denise

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

I always thought Annie Lenox was incredibly sexy. When she'd wear her flat top haircut and a boyish suit I'd get downright hot and bothered looking at her.

Then think of all the cool stuff you can do with the money you get from your new job!

The transition process goes a lot slower, can even reach a complete standstill, without funding...

You're doing the right thing, sweetie. Give yourself your favorite meal and go out there feeling good and nail those interviews.

--J:.

[Guest Melanieshaman]

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement i love you all very much I'm excited my wife, sister in law and i are going to get our nails done (mani/pedi) this weekend... funny i think my sister in law has an idea whats going on with me, but she never lets on. She VERY open minded so i don't worry about that side of my family at all, they are ALL very open minded..it's my own family that i worry about. My brother already hates me anyway, so if he never knows then i don't care.