Dysphoria

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

As some may know that it has been on weekends being my bad days.  I am trying to work through them and move on with my life.  Been working on keeping my mind busy for the weekend.  With the weekend coming up, I am trying to keep me busy.  Now that my house is fixed and that is off my mind.  Now to look at something else.  even something small to keep on my mind other than my main dysphoria causing area on the bottom.

[Ellora]

Hi! Im sorry that you are feeling this way. I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Do you have any books or movies you could dive into? Maybe a puzzle or art? I nice walk might clear up the mind, and a nice day at home relaxing might be comforting? Something you have been wanting to do? I will sometimes get lost in a book, or an old movie. Not old as in black and white, but one Like right now I have "The 'Three Musketeers'  With Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Chris O Donnell, Oliver Platt, and Tim Curry. Its low budget and silly, but i like it. Ive been reading 'The Hobbit'. thats a fun one to compare to the movie and lose myself in. 

I hope you can find your peace, take care <<<<<3

 

=Hugs=

[Raven1981]

Hello Ellora

 

I am feeling fine.  After my Therapist session last Saturday, I have learned to try and prepare myself for the weekend.  Trying to make sure to keep me busy and keep my mind off of my area.  So right now I am fine, just trying to keep me smiling 

[Raven1981]

So one thing that will be playing with my dysphoria till Tuesday is my facial hair growth.  I have my electrolysis appt on Tuesday so needing to grow.  Thank god I am 75% complete and can feel the patchyness.  But my main dysphoria is on my bottom area.

 

Today I have to clean my house and want to look at declutter.  So I am working on ways to keep me busy

[Ellora]

4 hours ago, Amy LeBlanc said:

Hello Ellora

 

I am feeling fine.  After my Therapist session last Saturday, I have learned to try and prepare myself for the weekend.  Trying to make sure to keep me busy and keep my mind off of my area.  So right now I am fine, just trying to keep me smiling 

Hi Amy, Im glad you are feeling fine, and I hope you feel better and better everyday. I have to keep my mind busy too, I plan my day around how I can do what makes me feel at easy and happy. Its not always easy, especially when certain things are more difficult than others. Sometimes i will -play music or the tv in the background to distract me , even when im doing a task or something. 

Stay strong!!

 

=Hugs=

[Bananarama]

Best wishes, Amy, and that the dreaded 'D' becomes a non-event.

 

Hugs, peace and much love,

MJ

[Raven1981]

My dysphoria is creeping up and I am trying to keep it at bay.  I am having to grow out my face for my electrolysis appt. on Tuesday.  My hair is not seen, on my face but I can feel it.  Since the bouncing back and forth between laser and electrolysis has been working wonders for me and has cut down on my time that at least makeup can cover everything and no one can see the hairs on my face, but just feeling them is driving me up the wall.  I know how they say to let the hair grow out for 4 days prior to electrolysis, but since were down to the few hairs and they are so spaced out and hard to see, I am asked to try to let it grow for 5 days now.   I just hate having hair on my face.  It does not feel right.  I have always hated hair on my face.  Even before transitioning, I never had hair on my face.  But cannot wait till Tuesday and cannot wait till I am done with electrolysis.

[VickySGV]

One day at a time is all we can do to be safe, but they do  add up pretty fast.  Be safe.

[Raven1981]

Just now, VickySGV said:

One day at a time is all we can do to be safe, but they do  add up pretty fast.  Be safe.

I know.  I have been trying to be safe.  Right now I am just happy that my mind has not been on my birth defect and having thoughts with a knife lately.  

 

Just right now it's on my face.  I have had people say that I dont have hair on my face or they cant see it.  But if they get really up close or touch my face then it's there.  So I am just glad that the electrolysis has been going aggressive and getting rid of this hair

[lauraincolumbia]

Just now, Amy LeBlanc said:

I know.  I have been trying to be safe.  Right now I am just happy that my mind has not been on my birth defect and having thoughts with a knife lately.  

 

Just right now it's on my face.  I have had people say that I dont have hair on my face or they cant see it.  But if they get really up close or touch my face then it's there.  So I am just glad that the electrolysis has been going aggressive and getting rid of this hair

Congrats on almost being done with Electrolysis!  That will be a huge relief when you don't have to go through that torture anymore.

[Kirsten]

Don’t let it creep in hun! Own that beard! It’s just some hair. Women have hair.  You’re no different. So don’t expect to be. 

[Raven1981]

Just now, Kirsten said:

Don’t let it creep in hun! Own that beard! It’s just some hair. Women have hair.  You’re no different. So don’t expect to be. 

I am trying.  I have been letting it grow since Wednesday for my appt on Tuesday.  I am just glad that it cannot be seen, but I can feel it.  So I know the electrolysis has been working.  I have been hard core on electrolysis since the beginning of this year.  So for 6 months now I have been doing electrolysis

 

[Maid In Bedlam]

Amy did you not say inanother thread:

On 5/26/2019 at 6:27 PM, Amy LeBlanc said:

 my body really changed and is showing very feminine. The obvious is my breast, and then I have a curved figure and my hips popped out along with my butt filled out and got rounder and firmer. There is still parts of my body that I do not like, but I am super happy with how noticeable I look.  They are right that on the second year and third year being on hormones that your body changes really take off on hormones.  I am so happy with how I am looking and feeling

So why all the feelings of Dysphoria?

You said it yourself You love how your looking and feeling.

We all have bad days. Even I do. But why focus on the negatives. You had so many positives in there.

I admit we all have bad days. But see it more this way. Your a woman. Just having a bad day.

If you need to grow your beard out then does that really make you less the woman you aspire to be?

None of us are perfect. You must however make the most of what you have.

Not many of us look like a glamour model. But then again neither do 99.9% of born/cis women.  and just aboout every woman i know has a little facial hair. We just have more than most. And guess what! They shave or pluck it to. Just like you will get it sorted as soon as its time.

 

 

[Raven1981]

3 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

Amy did you not say inanother thread:

So why all the feelings of Dysphoria?

You said it yourself You love how your looking and feeling.

We all have bad days. Even I do. But why focus on the negatives. You had so many positives in there.

I admit we all have bad days. But see it more this way. Your a woman. Just having a bad day.

If you need to grow your beard out then does that really make you less the woman you aspire to be?

None of us are perfect. You must however make the most of what you have.

Not many of us look like a glamour model. But then again neither do 99.9% of born/cis women.  and just aboout every woman i know has a little facial hair. We just have more than most. And guess what! They shave or pluck it to. Just like you will get it sorted as soon as its time.

 

 

I have dysphoria on when I have to grow out my face for electrolysis.  I know it is temporary cause I have to grow out my hair and I am almost complete with my electrolysis.  But I hate having hair on my face.  I have always hated hair on my face.  Even before transition, I was always making sure not to have facial hair.

 

The other dysphoria I have and I hate and just wish I can cut it off and even came close a few times is my birth defect.  Women are not supposed to have anything between my legs and I do.  That is my birth defect and I want it gone.  Even before transitioning, I have always tried to tuck and tape and hide this birth defect.

 

These are the 2 areas that cause my dysphoria

[Maid In Bedlam]

Please do correct me if im wrong but this birth defect you speak of. Are we talking of a  piece of anatomy that is round. and hangs?

 

 

If im right then im sure i could give you many reasons that cutting it off with a sharp knife is not really a way forwald medically it indeed will honestly but you in a much worse position  than you may think you are now..

 

Amy why do you let it define you? I cannot say with more vigour Do not be defined by just one thing. look at the big picture. You said yourself The obvious is my breast, and then I have a curved figure and my hips popped out along with my butt filled out and got rounder and firmer.

Dont be fooled by the signs that so called birth defect as not a part of you and your womanhood.  we are unique. We are all special.  Please do not just stand and look at your naked self in the mirror 24/7  Focusing on one feature. I am sure there is so much more to you than just that. You told us that.

 

 

Do not just give up and focus on that when life gets difficult There is not one of us who are not immune to the challenges we face everyday when trying to suceed in our own world. It doesnt matter if they they are beyond our control. Ones we have created for ourselves or ones that have been created by others. Its how we handle them determines what defines us Its not giving up that will determine the outcome of what we face.

Be strong Amy Leblanc.