Am I Too Long In The Tooth

[Michelle PJ]

Hello All,

 

So, hello from Northern New Jersey.   it’s a dark and stormy night here with over an inch of rain having fallen throughout the day.   Drenching rain has become the new normal around here..    We desperately need some warm dry days to help cut down on the moisture issues.   OK!   After that friendly intro and my attempt to be just an average fellow, I want to reveal a few things about me and hope I can get some helpful feedback and/or advise.

 

I am in my mid 60s, still working full time, separated from my wife and now very interested in HRT.   I am a long, long time CD.    It is amazing how alluring and exciting is the prospect of pursuing this course of treatment.   The clinic I went to is just waiting for the evaluation and “letter” that would give support to an informed consent process that I initiated.    The young trans brain I possess is anxious to get on with this.   My older male brain is saying that this would be a disaster.   For instance, resulting in the loss of relationship with family members, particularly my son and his 2 yr old daughter.   A likely loss of my best male friend of 40 years.   Let’s also add my older sister who would definitely not be supportive.   I do have a colleague at work who is very supportive.    

 

My fantasy is is that I could enjoy the remaking GOOD years of my life presenting as female, and living the life of a female for most of my days.   I also fantasize that I could shed the female role when needed for critical family functions. After divorce I see myself adopting a feminine household and hoping to fit in the best I can in a NE Pennsylvania community.   I will admit that my cowardly self will be tip toeing around the edges of relationships and everyday life to avoid conflict.   And here is the thing!   I must be crazy to enter into such a world!    Maybe it would be better to drown my (I must say minimal dysphoria) in martinis and live the rest of my life without such angst!

 

whew!   I will still love women’s clothing, makeup, their curvy bodies and always want to be like them.

 

Have a great night!

Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

[Dev]

There's no such thing as "too long in the tooth."  There's a woman close to where I live who started her transition in her 80s.  

 

Losing relationships is an unfortunate part of the process for some, but for many those people come around eventually.  They realize the loss is entirely theirs.  Whether those close to you fall into that category we can't predict.

 

I do want to speak seriously to something you said.  Half in jest, as they say.  Addiction is a very real risk among the trans population - once a substance starts being used to mask or otherwise cope with gender issues, it's especially easy to form a habit.  While the alternative is almost always harder, it's also always recommended.

 

Welcome aboard!  Please dive into any conversation that strikes you and ask questions as they arise.

[Ellora]

Sounds like you’ve been able to keep some secrets for quite some time now. My friend just commented on me being able to keep my secret(s) for a long time too. My family and some friends would be at odds with this. My kids would be find, but I don’t want to hear it from my ex ?. I’ve come to a time in my life where I don’t want to waste anymore time. But I don’t feel the need to tell everyone. I don’t really have to tell anyone, but that hasn’t stopped me from buying 8-10 drawerful of women’s clothing, and a collection of fav lipstick and makeup. I am comfortable dressing at home for now, and in time, I will venture out into the neighborhood, possibly as soon as Pride next month. I enjoy talking to my therapist, doctor, my friend, and everybody here at TransgenderPulse!! 

Enjoy life the best you can, but your never too old, especially if it makes you happy! You have to think of yourself at some point, but don’t rush if you don’t need to. Baby steps.

Best of luck in your journey!!!

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

[Jani]

Greetings Michelle, Never to old to be happy.  Welcome. 

 

Cheers, Jani

[VickySGV]

I am in my 70's with GCS at age 65.  HRT and LIFE began at 61 after I figured out that the booze was not going to work, and in my case it was $400+ of cheap stuff per month.  (Dang near killed myself and "the kid" who's been having a great time since I quit drinking.)  Don't decide ahead of time who is going to run away from you is my rule of thumb, and be ready to get rid of a few who decide to stay who will become pains in their own way.

[Charlize]

I was 63 when i went full time and started HRT.  Speaking to a gender therapist helped me a great deal.  I had stopped drowning myself in alcohol 5 years prior to transition.  In fact i found a great deal of support in the rooms of AA.

Now at 71 i can say that the last years of my life have been wonderful.  Simply being able to be honest and open despite some negativity has made my long tooth years great.  Speaking of which i see my dentist next week.  they are so supportive and wonderful.

Anyway from a more southerly Jersey Girl welcome to the forums.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Astrid]

19 hours ago, Michelle PJ said:

My fantasy is is that I could enjoy the remaking GOOD years of my life presenting as female, and living the life of a female for most of my days.   I also fantasize that I could shed the female role when needed for critical family functions.

 

Hi, Michelle,

 

If you do go with HRT, then once you start developing breasts, it's less likely you could "shed the female role" for family functions.  There are certainly other options that would allow you to do that kind of thing.  I'm an example of that (age 70, and non-binary).  Keep reading as much as you can on your options (and talking with others here and elsewhere).  Good luck with your journey!

 

Astrid  

[Beverly]

I live by the motto that it's never too late. With that said, medically transitioning with HRT is a commitment and some feminizing effects on the body are irreversible, most notably, breast development. Seek out a gender therapist to help you sort things out. A reputable doc will follow WPATH health protocols and won't start anyone on HRT unless they have a referral from a licensed psychosocial therapist stating the person's gender dysphoria is well documented and that they are mentally capable of giving consent. Best wishes!

[Michelle PJ]

Hello all you kind individuals that responded,

After tg focused therapy tonight, I am feeling more inclined to take the plunge.   We shall see where this leads us. 

 

Thank you!

 

Michelle

[Charlize]

I am glad you are getting therapy.  Don't forget that while we may have started a bit later than some life isn't a race.  Try to relax and enjoy each step.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize