Confused and Upset

[BellyButtonBrandon]

Hi everyone. If you don't mind, I could really use some emotional support. My whole life, I thought I was a boy until I recently came to identify as non-binary, but I still don't feel like I've found the most accurate label for myself. (Yes, I really do feel the need for a label.) I'm wondering if I may be a MtF trans girl: In terms of appearance, I love dresses and crop tops and skirts and pretty jewelry like my bellybutton jewel and all sorts of wonderful stereotypically-female stuff, and I've always been more of an artsy type with no interest in sports or hunting or rough-housing or other stereotypically-male things who'd rather lay around in a field of flowers giggling with all my girl friends and feeling cute. Just the mental image of doing that makes me want to leap for joy. When I tried on women's clothes for the first time, I almost cried with happiness over how it made me feel so...human. (I know these things aren't objectively feminine, but I've always interpreted them as such.) I don't know if it's just my fashion sense that's feminine rather than my personality, or whether I'm inaccurately gendering aspects of my character, or I'm making some other mistaken judgement of myself. I thought I'd enjoy getting to understand my gender, but it's honestly been terrifying to uncover such a big aspect of who I am, especially when I'm this uncertain about it. Any advice or words of comfort would mean the whole world to me. 

[tracy_j]

Hi Brandon, welcome to the forum ?

 

Please take  your time to relax, read around and join in as you feel. It does take a while to get to understand yourself. Most all of us have been, or are going, through that one way or another. You will find many friendly people here who are very helpful and share experiences which you may well find familiar. There is also much information if / when you need to delve deeper. Please don't hesitate to ask if you have questions.

 

Tracy

[BellyButtonBrandon]

Just now, tracy_j said:

Hi Brandon, welcome to the forum ?

 

Please take  your time to relax, read around and join in as you feel. It does take a while to get to understand yourself. Most all of us have been, or are going, through that one way or another. You will find many friendly people here who are very helpful and share experiences which you may well find familiar. There is also much information if / when you need to delve deeper. Please don't hesitate to ask if you have questions.

 

Tracy

Thank you so much, hun.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Brandon,

When I first came to the realization that I am trans, I wanted to label myself asap. I was given some great advice. I was advised to slow down and not worry so much about specific labels right away. Yes, I realize this can feel like cold water dousing your hopes. It did for me. But I realized it was good advice. It takes time to get an understanding of ourselves. I didn't know enough about myself or the gender spectrum to know how to properly label myself. I had a lot of learning to do, and it took time. I guess I'm still learning about myself and always will be. Just take a deep breath, and take the time to learn about yourself.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

 

[Krisvm]

Welcome aboard. It is very hard and scary to do, I have been trying to work this out for more than 20 years and I am still not sure. Just try to work out what works for you and what makes you happy. 

Rather than labels one thing that worked for me (although it may not for you)was to treat this like a science experiment, do things and work out what will make yourself happy, slowly and carefully. Take it slow, take lots of breaths and water and talk to people you can trust.

Whatever you are feelings is valid and I hope you work it out.

 

Love and hugs,

 

Kris