Helping people understand

[rob128]

I am a closeted transgender man. Please be kind as I am somewhat, well, ignorant on my gender identity. I have identified as a female for the majority of my life but something was never right. Transgender people in my area aren't well supported in my area and the area I live in seems ignorant on transgender and LGBT people, especially people around my age. I am afraid to tell people because I present as female. Another conflicting factor is that another person in my family would certainly harass me for coming out, which makes me want to stay in the closet until I have the funds to move away. As soon as I get out of here I want to live stealth. I am tired of being trapped. It feels revolting to me because I can't be how I truly am. I may just be influenced but it feels so real... not a trend, or phase at all... I feel very trapped with my identity. It is hard to identify myself with being transgender since many people in my family would probably be unsupportive as well as the friends in my life, and it is a new feeling to me. Does anyone have any advice? I've talked about it with only one friend of mine and one mental health professional. Sorry if I overshared, I have very little resources to get through. I want to run away and hide from my own self and life.  

[rob128]

By the way -- the title "Helping People Understand" is more so directed to people in my life. I did not intend it to be directed towards any members of this site. 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Rob,

Coming out to family should be done when you are ready for it. There's no need to feel rushed. If you are still living with family, and are unable to live on your own yet, holding off on coming out may the best choice, but only you can know for sure. If you feel they might not be understanding, it is often best to be financially independent when coming out. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

[rob128]

Just now, Timber Wolf said:

Hi Rob,

Coming out to family should be done when you are ready for it. There's no need to feel rushed. If you are still living with family, and are unable to live on your own yet, holding off on coming out may the best choice, but only you can know for sure. If you feel they might not be understanding, it is often best to be financially independent when coming out. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

Thank you for your words of wisdom and the advice, I'll take that into account. Given I'm already a legal adult I should start saving funds and move out when I can. I'm mostly financially dependent on my family but have been working briefly towards moving out.  

[Charlize]

If you are still under your parents medical insurance you may wish to consider a therapist.  I and many here have found that helpful in understanding what is so difficult to understand and accept.  Mine was also a great help in allowing me to find peace with the reactions of my family when i did come out.  Moving away and going stealth can be a painful situation.  I know i would miss my family.  Eventually dealing with family issues can be satisfying.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[rob128]

11 hours ago, Charlize said:

If you are still under your parents medical insurance you may wish to consider a therapist.  I and many here have found that helpful in understanding what is so difficult to understand and accept.  Mine was also a great help in allowing me to find peace with the reactions of my family when i did come out.  Moving away and going stealth can be a painful situation.  I know i would miss my family.  Eventually dealing with family issues can be satisfying.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Thanks, maybe I'll try to talk my parents into finding a therapist. I know there is a center for gender & sexual health in my area, perhaps I'll think about getting a referral there. 

[reyindium]

I suggest making friends who support you and affirm your gender, even if said friends are online/long-distance. My friends keep me sane and without them, the world would be very lonely. Personally, I don't think I could maintain a friendship with someone didn't believe me or support me when I share my gender identity with them. It would be an affront on my person. So if that's the case with you, try meeting new people. Coming online to talk with others is a great start.

[rob128]

10 hours ago, reyindium said:

I suggest making friends who support you and affirm your gender, even if said friends are online/long-distance. My friends keep me sane and without them, the world would be very lonely. Personally, I don't think I could maintain a friendship with someone didn't believe me or support me when I share my gender identity with them. It would be an affront on my person. So if that's the case with you, try meeting new people. Coming online to talk with others is a great start.

Being unable to change my appearance due to my living situation I am worried my friends won't take me as serious, but that is a good idea and perhaps I'll begin to seek out inclusive people.