Small steps at work

[TiaMaria]

Hey Everyone, 

 

Thank you all for the support from my last post. I just wanted to ask another question.

 

I've been trying to do small things at work to present more feminine, but they do not seem to be working. For starters, the first (and last) time I wore polish at work, everyone caught on (even though it was clear polish; my coworkers are pretty observant). I am not sure if I want to do that again. But besides that, I am not sure what else to do at work without drawing unwanted attention. I once thought about using a chastity, but I am not sure how it even works. Is there anything you would recommend I try that might not draw attention?

 

Thank you all in advance! 

[Terry]

Hi TiaMaria,

 

When I tried clear polish I think people noticed too, although nobody said anything. Based on my own observations I would say presenting less masculine is far easier than presenting more feminine. Just to give you a counterexample to the clear nail polish: I've been shaving my arms for quite some time and I don't think it has ever drawn any significant attention. I suppose this is because it's somehow still within the male norm. (Of course if you work at one of those places that force you to wear a full penguin outfit, nobody would see this anyway). In a way I assume that goes for my clothing style too - there's a whole range of combinations of jeans and t-shirts or jumpers for instance that wouldn't raise an eyebrow whatever the gender of the person who wears it.

 

Terry

[Charlize]

If you are only wearing long pants then shaving your legs is certainly possible.  I might also suggest that since your nails have already been noticed and the sky hasn't fallen(too far) you might consider keeping the polish.  

Much of what you do now depends on your future plans as well as simply trying to feel a bit less dysphoria.  I remember comments i received when i first shaved my legs.  I was caught in that horrible spot between needing to express my reality and the fear of others knowing what my reality was.

I would suggest that you see a gender therapist is you aren't already.  We often need all the help and support we can get to find our path.

Meanwhile enjoy each small step.  It was certainly an exciting journey for me.  Hopefully you will find a comfortable way as well.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KeiraC]

I found earrings, letting my hair grow out,  clear nail polish and when i started to get bigger on top there was no hiding it,

 

Enjoy the ride

 

 

[KeiraC]

Also after laser less facial black and my skin got better with the HRT, I shave my arms and legs I actually hate body hair its yucky

 

[Krisvm]

One good thing I found is some everyday makeup if you can. A little bit of foundation and some clear mascara makes me feel great and I have not known anyone to comment yet.

[TiaMaria]

Hello Everyone, 

 

Thanks for all the advice!!

 

On ‎7‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 8:51 AM, Terry said:

Based on my own observations I would say presenting less masculine is far easier than presenting more feminine. Just to give you a counterexample to the clear nail polish: I've been shaving my arms for quite some time and I don't think it has ever drawn any significant attention. I suppose this is because it's somehow still within the male norm. (Of course if you work at one of those places that force you to wear a full penguin outfit, nobody would see this anyway). In a way I assume that goes for my clothing style too - there's a whole range of combinations of jeans and t-shirts or jumpers for instance that wouldn't raise an eyebrow whatever the gender of the person who wears it.

 

Any ideas for how to dress in a less masculine way? Or any idea of where to look for more info? 

 

On ‎7‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 11:16 AM, Krisvm said:

One good thing I found is some everyday makeup if you can. A little bit of foundation and some clear mascara makes me feel great and I have not known anyone to comment yet.

 

What do you recommend? Is there anything that I could try that won't really raise any attention? 

 

Thanks!

[Krisvm]

13 hours ago, TiaMaria said:

What do you recommend? Is there anything that I could try that won't really raise any attention? 

  

 Thanks!

 

What I do personally sometimes is clear mascara, a light layer of powder foundation over stubble carefully blended and maybe skintone lipstick (if you don't feel up to that maybe chapstick) but with some solid primer underneath and some setting spray on top to reduce the chance of it coming off easily.

 

On the clothes I try dressing in a way that could be read as "fashionable man" but I read as feminine. Things like fitted shirts and skinny jeans with a small jacket, a sweater with a scoop neck rather than a tight neck or even just slightly rolling over the cuffs on a shirt.

 

Here are the kind of things I try that no one has commented on:

 

 

 

 

 

Hope this helps