Therapist Stuff

[Guest Leigh]

so, as i promised, i asked my therapist right out weather she is comfortable writing a letter for me, etc....

basically what she told me is that she's totally ok with me, and knows that i know myself very well, and believes that i know what i want to do (i.e. not the dreaded "phase" assumption...)

BUT

she still doesn't want to write me a letter since:

a. she's never written one before/ isn't an expert (i told her she doesn't have to be, showed her all the relevant parts of the SOC...)

b. she doesn't want me to start transitioning when i know my parents won't be cool with it....

which....honestly. i'm not going to let them hold me back. i know what i need to do, and plenty of people have had worse situations than i have and come out of it alright.

but she said that she wants me to have a support network......like, move and find doctors, other trans ppl...etc.

yeah. that would rock. but i can't move right now. and, again, plenty of ppl have done it without a support network (plus, i have you all..)

so...i'm not really sure what to do now. except work on convincing her that i am ready, and need to start ASAP if i want to keep from going totally nuts....

_______________

other than that (incase you missed it) i got my first (legit) binder (thanks Big Bros binder program).

i got a $100 bonus on my last pay check (woohoo...)

and my dad might actually be willing to buy me some clothing (for the first time since i was 15) any way to save money is good...

so, i guess i'm doing alright. just need to figure out how to make time go faster, and get my therapist to actually be an assest for my transition.

thanks for reading

peace&love

Leigh

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I'm sorry it isn't going fast enough but it will come! Isn't that exciting? I think u should continue to be persistent with your therapist! And it will happen! Voilà!

Hugz, Charlotte

[Guest joe0117]

Hey Leigh,

Congrats on the binder and maybe the new clothes. Sorry about the wait on the letter. Did she give you a time frame? or is she making you actually go through that entire list of moving, support network, etc...? I do hope you get your letter soon! Keep us updated!!!

Joe

[Guest Leigh]

Did she give you a time frame? or is she making you actually go through that entire list of moving, support network, etc...?

i think she wants me to move and get a letter from a specialist.....but we'll see.

at least i can start trying to pass, even though everyone around here will still see me as a girl.

peace

Leigh

[Guest bronx]

Leigh-

You know it might help to kknow that once you start to live as your true self it will show through to others around you. At least that has been my experience in the beginning. I started cut my hair and wore only male clothes and I had everyone call me Angel. I started living as a male full time even though I still looked female, well what started to happen was that I started getting treated as a man, and it really helped alot with my self esteem. True I was still called by female pronouns but the longer and more consistant I was the more people started to refer to me as male, both in approach and name. It's strange, but makes since, be who you are and people will know. Attitude is key as we say here in the playground.

Good luck,

Angel

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Leigh

Patience baby, patience!

You are on your way! How long did it take to get that far!

OMGoodness I want everthing now tooooo. YIKES

Lizzy

[Guest leo]

brox has hit the nail on the head!

you gott abe patient, things will happen

tis all about attitude

[Guest nova]

I know how it is when you feel like you have no control over your situation despite your best efforts. I'm sorry about your parents, but that seems like "par for the course" for most of us. Your parents may NEVER get on board. So, if parents were allowed to be the gatekeepers, then maybe 1% of us would be allowed to transition. My therapist wanted to be sure I was able to deal with the possibility of total rejection of my family. (actually my mother who was the only one left who still talked to me).I am bipolar so my therapist was thinking it could put me over the edge or compel me to "self medicate". She offered to help me write a letter, and find support services for family members of transgender variant sons and daughters, but I was able to disclose everything to her my own way. A different family member forced me to tell all on his terms and it was a disaster. Many trans people's dysphoria worsens by following a care providers' advice to delay transitioning for long periods of time. I had a psychiatrist who was treating my bipolar disorder try to tell my transgender care clinic not to prescribe me hormones because they MIGHT make me feel like I had the flu and that would make me feel suicidal! I told this shrink that if I had to continue to live as a male--THAT would make me suicidal. I found a psychiatrist who was experienced working with transgender patients and who didn't view transsexualism as a whim or wish. My bipolarism is under control, my transition is moving along, my doctors and I all understand each other and I'm ready for the next bump in the road because I know there will always be something. So, bring it on!