How long did you personally wait from initially coming out to HRT?

[LeavesThatAreGreen]

I'm brand new here, so I don't know if this is the right forum or an appropriate question, but I'm pretty anxious (having GAD to begin with doesn't help) about getting on with my life after I've felt that I've already waited far too long. I meet with my therapist on Wednesday after presenting him with my gender dysphoria issues in the last session (I've suffered from it for years but have been too scared to tell anyone), and he said we can sketch out a plan for transitioning. He said he can refer me to specialists, and so on. But at the moment, I'm just ruminating and worried about how long it's going to take before I can actually start living after spending my entire life looking on from the sidelines.

 

I know this sort of thing varies wildly from person to person, but from what I've seen online, it can be as long as a year. But on Planned Parenthood's website it says you can start as soon as your second session with them. As soon as I find out how much it will be after insurance and as soon as I meet with my therapist again, I'm going to set up my first consultation with Planned Parenthood, but at the moment I'm stuck and every second before I transition seems like an eternity.

 

Right now my biggest problem is my (very, very minor I keep telling myself) hair loss. The men in my family start to get seriously noticeable hair loss by 25 and I need to stop that immediately. I'm starting on Revita on Wednesday. I've heard Rogaine can actually cause hair loss, so I'm trying avoid that. I've seen some pretty amazing results from just HRT alone in so far as stopping and reversing hair loss goes. That's seriously my biggest concern to be honest. In my opinion, my face is kind of feminine even before HRT, my voice is pretty high, my shoulders taper smoothly, and in general I'm not starting off on terrible footing.

 

Incidentally, I'm really sorry if this post makes other trans girls feel upset with the cards they were dealt. I don't mean to do that at all. I'm just trying to talk about my own problems here. It doesn't matter when you started or what you look like, you're all beautiful and valid and nothing anyone says can ever change that. My personal self-esteem issues are my own burden to bear. If this post is just untenablely problematic, I hope the moderators will not approve it and give me some advice on how I can restructure it.

 

But regardless, I know I'm kind of crying into the void here. I know there's nothing anyone can say or do to make this happen faster, but I'm just curious how long it's taken other girls to actually start this process. I want to know what I'm dealing with. I'm not even looking to start super, super soon, because I'd like to lose a bit more weight before I make it considerably harder to do so. But like I said, this can not happen fast enough. Plus, who knows which of my fundamental human rights might be taken away with the current administration in this country the way it is. I needed to start yesterday but I can't change that.

 

 

[Ellora]

I had to talk with my Doctor, which one of her specialties happens to be in the transgender field. It wasnt easy at first, but once I started to talk to her, I felt better and better.  She wanted me to do a blood draw to make sure there wouldnt be anything  in the HRT meds that could harm me (spiro can do damage to the liver).  I had to wait a week to visit her again ( formality), in case I had second thoughts. We talked again, went over my labs and she Prescribed my Lady Meds!

The week did feel like it took forever, but it was worth every second, hour, and day. A ton of my GD lifted as soon as I picked up my Lady Meds. 

I understand the feelings you are having, but it always good to do your research and talk to your GD Therapists, and doctors. Enjoy the baby steps as well as every victory no matter how small they might feel. If you do not like what any of the doctors are saying, there is nothing wrong with getting second opinions. 

Best of luck with your Journey! 

[Carolyn Marie]

Hello, hon.  I began seeing a therapist in mid-2009, and about 4-5 months later I came out to my wife.  I didn't start HRT until about a few months after that.  Once I had decided on my course of action, it took a few weeks to find a doctor, see her, get my labs done and then start HRT, which by then was January 2010. 

 

Your post was fine, and this is entirely the right place to post it.  Thanks for your honesty and courtesy.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Cautiousness]

Personally, about 3-4 months, after getting the depression under control.  As i recollect, I started on androgen blockers for a few weeks before commencing estrogen.  Timing for hormone therapy is, of course, up to an individuals healthcare providers.  I went to a specialty clinic, so things may have transpired a bit more quickly for me since it was essentially one-stop shopping.

[Kirsten]

From the day I decided to start hrt it took me 4 weeks because that’s how long it took for an available appointment. I started that day. And I came out to all my people within 2 months. And I was full time right after that and will never look back. 

[LeavesThatAreGreen]

13 hours ago, Kirsten said:

From the day I decided to start hrt it took me 4 weeks because that’s how long it took for an available appointment. I started that day. And I came out to all my people within 2 months. And I was full time right after that and will never look back. 

 

See that's the kind of expediency that I'm looking for, I'm shooting to start in October, because I've known this for years and I just want to get on with my life. I meet with my regular therapist for the first time since coming out to him when he called to check on me last week, so I'm excited and nervous about that. But as far as I can ascertain, in my state you can just go to a Planned Parenthood for the initial consultation, they run some tests, and if you're good to go you can start as soon as your second visit. In the past few months I've lost quite a bit of weight but I still have some more that I'd like to lose before starting HRT, and they might want me to wait too, idk, I'm not that heavy. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure I don't have any other contraindications beyond some very well managed mental health issues. I'm seriously feeling better than I've ever felt in my life right now, but not in an "I'm manic" way, more in a "I'm finally gonna be able to be who I really am" kind of way. I stopped smoking and drinking a couple weeks ago when I decided I was finally going to bite the bullet and tell my therapist, since you can't do either of those on HRT I'm told. I've struggled with addiction to those things for years and now that I have this goal in my life, now that my life has meaning for the very first time, I have zero temptation whatsoever.

 

On 7/22/2019 at 12:45 PM, Cautiousness said:

Personally, about 3-4 months, after getting the depression under control.  As i recollect, I started on androgen blockers for a few weeks before commencing estrogen.  Timing for hormone therapy is, of course, up to an individuals healthcare providers.  I went to a specialty clinic, so things may have transpired a bit more quickly for me since it was essentially one-stop shopping.

 

I wouldn't really mind this time frame either, and my family would vastly prefer it. I mean at the moment, I'm still working on losing weight, clearing up my skin, and I've started using Revita to stop the very, very, slight thinning that has started and in general make my hair thicker and healthier (I'm only 22, but men in my family start to seriously lose hair around 25). That's one reason it's so urgent. In general I want to start as soon as humanly possible because I still have a chance to stop the final stages of developing as male. My family doesn't quite understand this feeling and they want me to hold off until "I'm sure". It's like, bitch I have been sure. Oh well, I've got a lot of stuff to do in the mean time while I wait, but alleviating the crippling dysphoria by making it so my body doesn't actively fight against my identity will be great.

[Kirsten]

The hair thing isn’t an issue more than likely. Get on some finestaride and you’ll be fine. 

Weight is a funny thing on hrt. It’s something you kind of need to help the body change, and look more feminine. But it comes on a lot easier for sure. Have a daily activity and I’m sure it’ll be manageable. I lost 80 pounds before I started myself. I have gained about 3 of it back in the last 2 years now. And I also quit smoking. But I have a million friends that still do. But it sure is bad for you. I am butt free for over 2 years now. But I’ll tell ya the cravings will come back. They always do. My wife is 7 years since quitting and still has them too. Lifelong battle. ?

 

[LeavesThatAreGreen]

5 hours ago, Kirsten said:

The hair thing isn’t an issue more than likely. Get on some finestaride and you’ll be fine. 

Weight is a funny thing on hrt. It’s something you kind of need to help the body change, and look more feminine. But it comes on a lot easier for sure. Have a daily activity and I’m sure it’ll be manageable. I lost 80 pounds before I started myself. I have gained about 3 of it back in the last 2 years now. And I also quit smoking. But I have a million friends that still do. But it sure is bad for you. I am butt free for over 2 years now. But I’ll tell ya the cravings will come back. They always do. My wife is 7 years since quitting and still has them too. Lifelong battle. ?

 

 

Congrats on the weight loss! I've lost 60 pounds so far myself since January here and I'd like to lose 30-40 more to take me down to 160-170 before I start HRT. I know weight loss isn't impossible on HRT and with the deficit I've been eating at (800-1200kcal under doctor supervision with vitamins and potassium supplements) it my continue but just more slowly. I have read that having a little bit of weight before you start isn't too bad because it gives the hormones plenty to work with when redistributing fat. I already have fairly feminine patterns of fat distribution so I'm looking forward to the results I might end up getting. Everything I've read though says it does nothing about your stomach area, so I'm trying to get that under control, and so far so good. Thanks for the input. And yeah, I already have noticed cravings again but with Wellbutrin and finally having a direction in life, I'm finding it really easy to just chew a piece of gum and get on with my life. Hopefully that keeps up that way.

[Kirsten]

Just now, LeavesThatAreGreen said:

 just chew a piece of gum and get on with my life. Hopefully that keeps up that way.

Dental picks helped me a lot. Oral fixation and something to do with your hands. And added bonus is super clean teeth!! 

 

I am the same with the weight. 250 to 172 I’m at 172-177 depending on the day. 30 or less mins of exercise 4x a week , and under 1700cals keeps me right there. No special diet. Just healthy foods. Chicken rice veggies etc..... 

 

and thanks! Taking it off was easy. But finding a way to eat what I liked and not gain was tough. But I found it! ?lol. 

[LeavesThatAreGreen]

Just now, Kirsten said:

under 1700cals keeps me right there

 

Yeah, that's gonna be one thing I'm going to have to be very careful about too. Eating at the kind of restriction I have been slows down your metabolism, adding HRT into that I'll have to increase my calories veeery slowly to avoid rebounding. And I just quit a job where I was very active for 3-4 days a week so I'm definitely going to have start some form of exercise. There are a lot of bike paths near where I live so I think I'll do that.

 

And dental picks are a good idea too!

[KymmieL]

Hon, it is never to late to be who you want or need to be. It has been just over a year ago when I first came out to my counselor. She got me started and Now I have a medical team( including a OB/GYN) that is watching my health. I am about 6 months on Spiro. with my dosing being increased. While I want to go on E my recent blood clots have put a dampener on that.

 

I think going to the VA has increased the time between coming out and starting. I am feeling that everything is moving forward.

 

It has taken me 50+ years to finally know who I really am. 53 years to finally start doing what I need to to be the real me. It may take sometime (which is what you don't want to hear) but you will become the real you.

 

Kymmie

[Michelle F]

Ummm...  about 2 months.

[VickySGV]

I had been out as a CD for about 10 years when I hit the TG wall.  I came out as needing to transition to a therapy group for addiction recovery, which lead directly to my approval for HRT.  From there it was three months to the first HRT intake appointment where I received my prescription on the spot back in 2009.

[Charlize]

I spent a great many years hiding, dressing and purging.  Actually i can't remember when that wasn't the case.  I always did my best to "man up".

Once i started to go out in public it didn't take more than 10 years before i went full time and started HRT at the age of 63,

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Lady Ayu]

I always knew i was a woman but in my household and county, it was something that was discouraged and many people were threatened and beaten over it. For safety i tryed my best to be a guy...it didnt go well.

 

I just recently came to terms with my true self about 2 years ago. At that point i was just collecting feminine clothes, makeups, nail polishes and i found a way to feminize myself in my freetime. It could be something small as Painting my toes, or wearing a camisole under my street clothes or uniform; it made me feel right. In my free time I would be completely feminine unrestricted.

 

That was how i started my transitioning; I JUST got a therapist a month ago and i am JUST meeting with an Endocrinologist in 2 weeks for the first time. I have JUST started presenting as female around my friends and in towns no one would recognize me; places I feel safe. I say all of this to say there is no right or wrong time; move at a pace that you feel is appropriate and ask your therapist for guidance; come together and find a way that works for you. Take the steps you are ready to take and build yourself up towards the steps you aren't. That's the way I see it at least!!

 

~Mayumi~

 

[Dana Michelle]

I came out to my parents 6 months after starting therapy, and started hormones another 10 years later. I was very worried about making the right decision so I took a long time to finally start hormones.

 

[Jackie C.]

Let's see... I started seeing a therapist in February 2018. She suggested I take it slow and introduce my wife to the idea gradually. I didn't. I honestly couldn't bear keeping it a secret from her. I kind of fumbled the reveal, (Pro Tip: Do NOT open with a joke.) but she was on board with me almost immediately. You love the person you love and my gender presentation didn't bother her. As a bonus, we're about the same size and can share clothes. Once my wife was part of the project, I came out to the rest of my friends, then my family. The family did not take it well, but my friends were all cool. That honestly surprised me. I am not currently speaking with my family for reasons that edge into "tragic backstory." It's not really a loss.

 

I started hormones in July of 2018, so five months. A month of that was arguing with my endocrinologist about being healthy enough for hormones. That's my fault. Over the years while I was dealing with dysphoria, depression and more "tragic backstory" I hadn't been taking care of my body and it was kind of a wreck. My doctor and I slowly got my hormone levels to where she was happy and I'm happy. Girl-me is delightful. Boy-me was kind of a load.

 

I transitioned socially full-time before I got the hormones. "Fortunately" I suffer from alopecia totallis so I don't need to shave anything. I did need to get eyebrows tattooed on though. I look peculiar without eyebrows. They're lovely though and I've had several people remark positively about them.

 

Since I've been on hormones, I've developed A-Cup breasts. This probably isn't the end for me. I was a slow bloomer for puberty part one. I don't expect to be any faster for part two. I hope I'll settle into a nice B-Cup, but that's not really up to me. Overall, I've lost weight. This was intentional. I started working out to slow down muscle loss (I didn't have much to spare) and to get me ready for surgery. My body isn't perfect, but I've gone from 295 pounds (I know, right?) to 187 as of today. I've got girlish definition in my arms and legs. It doesn't stand out, but you can see the muscle groups when I flex. I honestly just noticed that the other day. It was a "when did that happen?" moment for me to be sure.

Don't be too impressed by that. I put in a LOT of work and I made sure to train with someone who knew what they were doing. I'm happy with the results, but I had a lot of help. They deserve credit too. No short-cuts. Diet. Exercise. Repeat.

 

Socially, transitioning has been a very positive experience for me. Most people are impressed that I have "the balls" to transition. That always makes me laugh. It's not like balls have anything to do with it, but I know what they mean. Mileage may vary on that too. I've been told by my therapist that I come across as completely non-threatening. I suppose it has a disarming effect on some people.

The "angriest" comment I've heard in the wild is, "You have some real balls to bring those (my breasts) in here." I was in the men's locker room, (because laws in my home state) but I wasn't sure how to respond. It wasn't like I could leave them at home. I went with, "I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, but I have a ways to go in my transition before I'm allowed to use the women's locker room." All I got back was a grunt.

Also, six months after I joined (last Thursday), one of the gym employees said, "You know we have a unisex bathroom, right?" Obviously I did NOT know that, but I do now. Live and learn. Much nicer to get changed in there without feeling like a frog on the highway.

 

So yeah. I love the changes to my body and especially my brain. The differences in how I see the world is like the difference in how Dorothy saw Kansas and how she saw Oz. I like who I am now. I feel good about myself. I always blow the person looking back at me from the mirror a grateful kiss.