Phobias and Irrational Fears

[Maid In Bedlam]

I have had this for a long time but I never speak about it. As its perhaps just plain stupid.

 

Im going to come out with it in the anomity of the internet and around online freinds in the hope im not alone.

 

I have a fear of the police.

 

Now to be completly honest. Even in my teens i was never in trouble with the law other than i got one telling off or a caution as they call it over here for criminal damage.

Now you may think What a  rebeleous holigan. But the reason i got the caution was because of something noble. I heard screaming or what i was thinking was screaming behind the door of an old hut. So i forced entry. Ie i kicked the door in. Only to discover it was a rather angry gull that had been locked in by someone. who promtly flew away. The only witness who could substaiate my story and he or she fled on wing. This must have been about 25 or 30 years ago but its still imbedded in my mind. I would assume there isnt even a record of it now because of the time elasped.

 

I was arrested and cautioned and let go. I did spend a couple of hours in the cells but they wasnt nasty with me. Just very formal.

 

This is other than one road traffic offence  the only times I have ever had dealings with the law.

 

Now fast forwald to today I was driving up my road earlier. and then was a police car coming towald me from the direction of where i live. Not my house just from that direction. From my row there is only one way in and one way out and there he was.

 

I started to imediatly feel guilty. I wondered what they wanted. Was it me? Had i done something wrong without knowing it?

I got home and locked the door. I was scared and spent the next hour looking out the window in a semi panic praying they never returned.

 

This isnt the first time either. Even if a police car is behind me in traffic i start to get on edge praying they turn off or stop. As long as they are as far away from me as possible.

 

Its just really police in cars. If i see one on the street yes i still get a little paranoid but nothing like if i see one in a car.

 

So Maid in Bedlam admits it and shows i am human.

 

Has anyone got advise on how to beat a phobia? Have you got a really silly one ? Well not silly to you but sounds irrational. Please do tell your deepest darkest fears if you dare. It does help to talk about it sometimes. Granted mine is really silly but at the same time really scary for me and involkes feeling of guilt/fear/panic

 

I am really a rational person To give you an idea For instance if i ever see a ghost then i would ask it in for tea and cake and a chat about the afterlife. Normal things that would put the willys up another person do not scare me as a rule.

 

 

 

 

[Dana Michelle]

The best I can suggest is when you get afraid, try to think about something else. When I try it, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

 

[SaraAW]

If you have a GT, I would suggest talking with them about it, or any therapist for that matter. There are lots of skills and coping techniques they can teach you to deal with fear.  I can tell you that as I am still closeted to most of the world, fear is something I talk to my GT a lot about. 

 

*hugs*

 

Sara

[Jani]

I agree that a talk with your therapist would be in order.  Other than that I would rationalize that not all police are bad.  They are doing their jobs to keep you safe.  As an example, what if it had been your house where someone had kicked the door down.  You'd be thankful that they investigated and found a suspect.   We can see bad in many things in life but that doesn't mean that all of life is bad or fearful.  

 

That said it is normal to have your pulse rate rise when you see a police vehicle in the mirror or approaching you.  You immediately glance at your speedometer to make sure you're not too far over the limit or wonder it something in your neighborhood is awry.  That is fairly normal and not to be feared.  

 

Go have a talk with your therapist dear

 

Hugs, Jani

[Maid In Bedlam]

Im not so bad that i would need to go to a therapist just yet. Ive just not been someone to discuss all my problems. I know i should talk to someone but it just feels so stupid. 

 

3 hours ago, Jani said:

  Other than that I would rationalize that not all police are bad.  They are doing their jobs to keep you safe.  As an example, what if it had been your house where someone had kicked the door down.  You'd be thankful that they investigated and found a suspect.   We can see bad in many things in life but that doesn't mean that all of life is bad or fearful. 

Hugs, Jani

 

I think thats what i need to do. Not all of them are bad. I guess the only times i have had dealings with them its been for something bad so i think Something bad is going to happen. or they are going to try and fit me up with something. Again stupid Not all cops are like that. But you do always here about the few bad ones but never the good ones.  Its so seldom i have any dealings with the police anyway. being honest other than giving a statement once as a witness to a theft and that was just did you see where he went kind of chat. i have never had any contact with the police up here. Maybe they are much nicer than the ones in England.  At the end of the day. i have done nothing wrong. See look im already rationalising it . Its good to talk ?

 

I would still love to here about anyone else who has an irrational fear of something. I cant be the only one with something like this.

[Dana Michelle]

5 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

I would still love to here about anyone else who has an irrational fear of something. I cant be the only one with something like this.

I'm agoraphobic. I'm anxious about being out of the house and around other people.

 

[KymmieL]

Phobias are one of the things that brought me to the VA. and counseling. I don't think it has an official name but I have a phobia of bad winter roads. It started from a vehicle accident when I was in the service. It was a roll over. I was the only one hurt, two broken toes. It is actually a form of PTSD. I can't handle being on nasty winter roads, especially when someone else is driving. At times my heart rate can go up when a road appears to be glossy. I have to tell myself it is summer and 80 out it can't be slick.

 

I know your feelings. It can happen to anyone. Before the accident winter roads where no big thing. 

 

Kymmie

[SaraAW]

6 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

Im not so bad that i would need to go to a therapist just yet. Ive just not been someone to discuss all my problems. I know i should talk to someone but it just feels so stupid. 

... ?

 

 

It doesn't have to be a full blown phobia to talk to a therapist. They’re there to listen about anything and everything that is impacting you in any way.

 

It’s not stupid to talk to people about things that are bugging you, we’re wired to be social creatures. It doesn’t even have to be a therapist, anyone in your life that is a good listener that you feel won’t be judging may likely help you some.

 

Just bringing things that concern us out into the open where we can examine them better usually helps. 

 

I am in a law enforcement/ security related field and even I have a moment when seeing & hearing sirens, usually to check to make sure I’m not speeding too much. For me I think this is a reflection of internal quilt, not even necessarily related to any possible law breaking. I have always had a guilt complex. 

 

I wish you you the best of luck in finding ways to manage. 

 

*hugs*

 

Sara

[Maid In Bedlam]

On 9/6/2019 at 3:52 PM, SaraAW said:

 

 I have always had a guilt complex. 

 

 

I can see that. A guilt complex. Im not guilty of anything. Well anything that i would admit to ?

 

I guess. If it does come to a head oneday i will go talk to someone. I have spoken to my partner. Who trys to be nice about it but doesnt really understand i dont think. Its so seldom that I see the police now. Its hardly worth the time., Yes im belittling it i know.

Its just a rather strange fear. I guess im just always one of those people that worry to much about my liberty and freedom. I dislike the idea of a person being able to take this away from me. The other alternative is. You never see them for anything good. At least thats always been my expreiance so i would assume they provoke feelings of impending doom. Its that or i just have a complex about authority figures. Funny how i do enjoy a man in uniform but dislike Police in cars lol..  maybe if they are out of the car and on the beat my perspective would change.

[Charlize]

Back in the late 60's i had good reason to fear the police.  Having long hair at the time was an invasion for harassment.  I got used to being searched, detained and grilled as to the composition of my vitamin pills.  Fortunately i avoided the beating so many "hippies" received.  Since then i've not had an issue for themes part.  I've even gotten stopped for minor speeding offenses and left without a ticket.  Perhaps it's because i'm a cute (?) old woman.  It might also be because i mention my last ticket was in 1966 for going through a yellow light in an old truck with poor brakes.  

I do get nervous but i'm a pretty good kid now.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[TommieAnne]

Although as a youth I was (probably justifiably) nervous about contact with the police, after my stint in the Army I have learned to greet and interact with them in a professional manner, proper respect and using their name and rank. I'm usually treated well, even usually get off with a warning rather than a ticket.

But there are bad police out there.

Professional demeanor I think is a help even with them.

But if someone is determined to be a butthead cop, there's not much you can do about it except contact your attorney.

[tracy_j]

It was only yesterday when I was out and saw a parked police car and got nervous. It was not down our street so obviously nothing to do with me but I still was. I think with me it is more to do with being a bit of a rebel and having standoffs with various authorities over the years. I am not very confident although am intelligent enough to work things out so, although not liking confrontation, can work through it.  These days I look around the problem.  As a rebel I try to be one step ahead of any issue. With police I am instantly working things through my mind (not in terms of the latest job though ?). I think many do. It's not unusual to have such a phobia. You are maybe not in a position to, but doing some work in close contact with them in some form would probably relax you.

 

Tracy

 

[Maid In Bedlam]

22 hours ago, tracy_j said:

 I think with me it is more to do with being a bit of a rebel and having standoffs with various authorities over the years.

 

Tracy

 

 

 

I think we all had those in our past. I still want to break the system but in a more suttle way now. Im to old  to take it on with physical force. Even if im heavier than i was then.

Much better to smash the system from my armchair with a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit. Making the occasional comment at the television. While thinking about old "The Clash" records

 

 

[Josie Beth]

I’m claustrophobic, if I’m in a confined area and especially with a lot of people crowding I panic. Just the other day I was on the bus going to work and there were a lot more people on the bus than usual. Everyone else was getting ready for a mad dash off the bus and in a rush to get to a connecting bus. It was contagious. Like a fight to rush through a crowd of chaos. I’m sure that people around me could see the terror on my face. And maybe that’s irrational but it’s a very real fear for me.

 

I also don’t like any kind of restraints because I can be harmed and not be able to defend myself. There’s good reasons for both of these things even though it seems irrational to most people.

 

 I’m also not really comfortable when police are around. Mainly because of how they appear to operate whenever I see them. Often times they will be parked on side streets just sitting there but to me it’s like they are looking for victims. Or they will drive past and then swing around and drive slowly behind me when I’m returning from groceries on foot and this feels like stalking for prey. Yes even the cars have body language because of the behavior of the drivers. Maybe it seems irrational to some people but it’s not to me. I listen to my gut more than ever now because not listening to it has led to mistakes. I do have some history of being mistreated by police so I don’t think my fear of them is unfounded at all. I certainly wouldn’t date one. 

[TommieAnne]

Josie Beth, I think listening to your gut instincts is the only way to survive. The only times I've gotten into bad situations have been when I overlooked what my inner voice was screaming at me.

I also hate crowds. They're scary to me. They jostle me about, something I also can't stand.

I get panicky from being squeezed in a crowd. But also for no reason - panic attacks.

I have nightmares that cause me to jolt awake, unable to relax, rest or return to sleep. Seldom do I know what the nightmare was, just that "something" was there in the dream.

Fortunately as an artist, I can pad down in my slippers to my studio and draw while sipping coffee until the panic passes. This morning was one of those times.

I don't know why but I woke in the middle of the night feeling totally dysphoric, hating myself, my life, who I am, fearing who I want to become, frightened of having sexual relations, etc.

So I come here, to read, hoping to find answers, trying to calm myself as the sun comes up to begin a new day and dispel all the dark shadows from the corners of my life.

 

[lauraincolumbia]

On 9/14/2019 at 4:19 AM, Maid In Bedlam said:

 

 

While thinking about old "The Clash" records

 

 

For some reason, I woke up this morning wanting to listen to The Clash. After dusting off the old Clash CDs, I've been jamming out all morning.