Big oof

[TTheta]

So I was feeling like I was passing, and the funny story of the girl who thought I was a boy in the girls bathroom. I went home and was proud to be passing that well so I told my older sister of the funny story and she cut me off with a puzzled glance and told me that I really didn't look like a boy, and that I just looked like a girl with short hair. So all my built up confidence was destroyed in two seconds. I did come out to my sister a while ago but like everyone else in my family she didn't like the idea of me being trans. I try to dismiss the comment but I couldn't keep it from repeating in my head and every time I look at the mirror I can't help but see all the feminine features in my face and body. oiojdwvnwodjvn oof I kinda all over the place right now. 

[Jackie C.]

Well sure, but your sister has HOW many years of seeing you as "her sister?" It's going to be hard for her to get past that. With family members... heck, my wife mis-gendered me in front of a Sam's Club employee yesterday. She caught herself and she's trying so I didn't say anything.

 

Honestly, as much as I enjoy passing I also find it hilarious when someone can't quite decide what to call me and flounders back and forth.

 

The point is, your sister is going to need some time before she sees you as the you you want her to see. That's convoluted. OK, let's try again. It's going to be a while before your sister sees you as "her brother." She has to unlearn a lifetime of dealing with you as "her sister." That makes more sense.

 

Be patient with family. So long as they're trying, that's all you can ask.

 

Hugs!

[TTheta]

She is my step sister and she just moved near me so she has only had about a year of calling me sister so I understand what you are saying, but even then I was never close with her because she is older, I wish I could say that they were trying and I wish I could say that they supported me but I would be lying. To say the least they are transphobic and are constantly making fun of me and if I stand up for myself I get in trouble (I am very respectful when I make contradictions).  I really do appreciate the thought though, so thank you lots.  

 

Also I couldn't stop laughing at the look on the girls face, she left the bathroom just to make sure she was in the right bathroom, sometimes I get dirty looks from other girls because they think I am a guy haha.

[Jackie C.]

She doesn't have to be transphobic. She could just be an -censored-... I shouldn't curse. I apologize to the mods. Please don't smite me. I'm sorry she's being terrible to you. That can be hard on your confidence. Still, there are supportive people in your life. Those are the reactions you should be looking at. There are, unfortunately, always going to be people who look at you a little sideways. That's OK. The important thing is that you know who you are and that you love yourself. Once you have that, the rest doesn't matter.

 

And I also know that's hard as heck when you're young. Especially when you're trying to show other people who you really are and establishing your identity. It sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on things though.

 

Hugs!

[NB Adult]

Aidan, 

There is a strange phenomena that just about everyone experiences when they look at themselves in the mirror that defies rational thinking. They (we) most often see the person that we formerly were before any changes looking back and taunting us. I was on another TG site a few years ago and watched one MtF go through all the changes, hormones, GRS, breast implants and a fortune in FFS facial transformation, she was without a doubt what anyone would cal drop-dead-gorgeous. Somehow she just couldn't see it like the rest of us could, she swore she was seeing her former male persona looking back at her. This is true, so don't let the mirror-mirror on the wall lie to you. The ones that will see you differently are those that haven't seen you in a long time and those who had never known you before. Given that she's your step-sister, she no doubt resents the fact that you are abandoning the sisterhood altogether, it's pretty normal behavior.

[TTheta]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

She doesn't have to be transphobic. She could just be an -censored-... I shouldn't curse. I apologize to the mods. Please don't smite me. I'm sorry she's being terrible to you. That can be hard on your confidence. Still, there are supportive people in your life. Those are the reactions you should be looking at. There are, unfortunately, always going to be people who look at you a little sideways. That's OK. The important thing is that you know who you are and that you love yourself. Once you have that, the rest doesn't matter.

 

And I also know that's hard as heck when you're young. Especially when you're trying to show other people who you really are and establishing your identity. It sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on things though.

 

Hugs!

I try to understand since my family is surrounded with military and have a very old fashioned view on LGBT+ issues. But I will take your advice and try to ignore their reactions and focus on the good ones. Thank you, I will keep my head high and move out as soon as possible to be myself haha.

[TTheta]

58 minutes ago, NB Adult said:

Aidan, 

There is a strange phenomena that just about everyone experiences when they look at themselves in the mirror that defies rational thinking. They (we) most often see the person that we formerly were before any changes looking back and taunting us. I was on another TG site a few years ago and watched one MtF go through all the changes, hormones, GRS, breast implants and a fortune in FFS facial transformation, she was without a doubt what anyone would cal drop-dead-gorgeous. Somehow she just couldn't see it like the rest of us could, she swore she was seeing her former male persona looking back at her. This is true, so don't let the mirror-mirror on the wall lie to you. The ones that will see you differently are those that haven't seen you in a long time and those who had never known you before. Given that she's your step-sister, she no doubt resents the fact that you are abandoning the sisterhood altogether, it's pretty normal behavior.

I had no idea about this, to be honest its kinda cool but cruel to the one looking in the mirror, thank you for your insight.  I hope her mind will change over time, because I would like to connect with at least 1 of my 6 siblings haha.

[Lady Ayu]

As we transition, thr people around us are also going through a transition; one where theybare adjusting to the new, true you. If your sister truly accepts you, she will come around and put the time and effort into fully accepting you. This transition, much like our own, will need time and support.

 

I am going through a similar situation with my mother and talking to you helped reassure me; so thank you for that! Hang in there hon!

 

~Mayumi~

[Charlize]

I still find times and situations when i am forced to remember my past self.  The mirror, over time, has become a friend.  That changes sometimes as well, but rarely now.  Perhaps this will always be with me but they crop up less and less as years pass.

Sorry about your step sister's lack of acceptance and support.  I know it hurts.  She may come around.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[A. Dillon]

The same thing happens to me, I will be checking myself out in the mirror because I pass, tell my dad, and then have him tell me that I don't look anything like a guy. Then I will go back, and see everything about me that marks me as female. Suddenly, my self esteem will plummet, and I feel like a girl with short hair again. Not a good feeling, wouldn't recommend it.

[ShawnaLeigh]

I think and feel personally that everyone who knew me as Shawn will always see Shawn to some degree even if they do support and accept my life changes.  I'm not trying to change the view or opinions of my family members or friends simply because the person "I was" is still in here.  It is also the frame work of who they knew for so long.

People I do not know or have never met or even those that work in the same hospitals as I do will not give me a second look as being who ever I present as.  Im just another women passing in a moment of time.  Face to face encounter are basically the same unless they are very observant and even so.  Who cares what a stranger may think of you.  I don't.

 

In the end you will look in the mirror and ALWAYS see what once was as still being there to some degree and as it had been mentioned a hundred times before, "We are our own worst critics."

But think about that. 

Unless you have gone through a lot facial surgeries you will always look like you from before as you still have the same bone structures, muscle structures and tissue thickness as before.  However to some degree it is now it closer to your preferred gender if you are taking steps to change to your preferred gender.

I can see a pretty women even still.  I love that.

So I don't care to much if my family or friends have a hard time remembering or not.  I accept them for who they are and appreciate their acceptance in their own way.  Eventually as I live full time and have them in my presents repeatedly they will see who I am and come to it on their own.

But yes it will still bother me until that day.  LOL