Bursts of emotion and some

[Maid In Bedlam]

I suppose this is just a warning but in the nicest possible tone.

 

Be aware of the effects of E on your mental state.

 

Today I cried. It wasn't the first time. I've been on Estrogen for about 5 and some years. In the form of patches. Not that the patches make any difference. It's just the estrogen following through my veins.

Every so often. I have a cry. At first, it was a strange and somewhat unsettling emotion. Im, not a Vulcan so to speak in any sense of the word but after my childhood, I became very stiff upper lip.  Crying was not part of my makeup. Even at funerals of nearest and dearest I never once shed a tear. Also i always held it in because my X partner would have seen it as weakness and preyed upon it.  Which now seems to me I must have come over as a really hard individual.  Even now I still put up a tuff barrier and perhaps come over as some real bitch who doesn't give a sausage about anyone else.

 

But now. I cry over stupid things. Sadness on the television even if I know it is just acting and none of its real.

 

Anyway going back to my post. I had to get my partner up for work this morning. needless to say, my partner said something to me. Just in a kind of. Why you waking me up so early. It wasn't meant to be harsh or with any malice. Anyway, I walked into the living room and just cried my eyes out. It's amazing how it can happen over something so trivial. needless to say. I got a hug and an I'm sorry. It wasn't really completely my partner's fault but none the less I enjoyed the hug and the sympathy received.

 

So the moral of the story is Be prepared for what those hormones can and more than likely will do to you.

 

It doesn't seem to matter how far down the road you are. The estrogen monster will once in a while come and bite you in the backside when you least expect it.

 

Even now after those years. aloso im starting to get that feeling that your bust is going to develop more. I really was under the impression i had got all i was gonna get. But it would seem my body is not happy with a c cup and wants more. My god when will it stop?

 

I do honestly wonder when the magic will be at an end.

[Jackie C.]

Maid's spot on with that. Sometimes crying jags happen. I find them cleansing. Other times you'll just feel giddy for no good reason and dance your way through making dinner. Going from T to E really opens up the throttle on your emotion engine. You'll feel more nuance and more intensity from things that didn't effect you before. You'll also get hit harder by things that already tugged at your heart-strings.

 

Personally, I adore it but some people might find it disconcerting. I should point out that it's not an all at once thing either. The E Monster stalks its prey before she strikes. Sometimes that turns into strong emotional responses for no good reason. I was inconsolable for a day because I had a dream where my wife left me for another man. She was angry with me for a while because she had a dream where I cheated on her (obviously not, I was sleeping next to her at the time). Neither emotion made a lot of sense in the daylight, but we felt them intensely.

 

On the other hand, I love more intensely and deeply than I ever have before. My empathy has blossomed into a lovely garden and I feel at peace with myself. Finally.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

I have actually grown to almost enjoy a good cry.  I don't search for them but i see a kind of beauty in others and the similarity of my experience to their's.  Maybe it is an empathy i didn't feel when having T dominate my life.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[NB Adult]

I went through a war and never shed a tear over the death, carnage and friends lost. On E it all came out in a flood, it was a relief as we all tend to stuff so much rather than show emotion. Emotion became a new dimension in my times of intimacy with my spouse and she greeted it with open arms.

[ShawnaLeigh]

I did the same.  No tears for like 45 years.  Then I was self medicating hrt and omg I was a blubbering mess.  It scared me off self medicating.   Now I’m back on under doctors supervision and the emotions are all becoming raw again.  I can only assume it’s the E in my system again.  

[Lady Ayu]

Thank you all for sharing your unique perspectives! I havent been on HRT for long so i havent had this happen to me yet but I am oddly looking forward to it. Still not sure what to expect so i will listen and learn from others while I continue to toe the path to the most authentic me

 

~Mayumi~

[NB Adult]

@Lady Ayu Nice to get a head's up from a few that have been there and have some expectations of what may lie ahead isn't it? We're here for you honey, feel free to ask questions and pick people's brains for information that may help you.

[Lady Ayu]

@NB Adult

 

Thank you!! I will continue to rely on the sage advice and information provided here and one day hopefully I be as helpful to someone as yall have been to me!!

 

~Mayumi~

[ToniTone]

I've been so moody as of recent. Even when I'm not having a bad day, I just feel this big vague mood. As a man, at best I felt void and apathetic. Usually I was angry and irate. I think the testosterone made irritated and enraged. My emotions are softer now. I'm more relaxed and feel a general sense of joy. And I cry a lot more. It feels like a privilege I didn't get as a man. I love what feminizing hrt has done for me ?

 

~Toni

[Maid In Bedlam]

On 12/1/2019 at 2:15 PM, Jackie C. said:

 

 

Personally, I adore it but some people might find it disconcerting. I should point out that it's not an all at once thing either. The E Monster stalks its prey before she strikes. Sometimes that turns into strong emotional responses for no good reason. I was inconsolable for a day because I had a dream where my wife left me for another man. She was angry with me for a while because she had a dream where I cheated on her (obviously not, I was sleeping next to her at the time). Neither emotion made a lot of sense in the daylight, but we felt them intensely.

 

 

 

 

Jackie. You Put that so well " The E Monster stalks its prey before she strikes" How very apt. I couldnt have put it better myself.?

 

On the subject of dreams . A month or so ago. I was havening an awful one. Yes i get them. I actually cried myself awake. That was a new expreiance.  to be sure.