Appointment for HRT in 13 days

[JoniSteph]

Mods if this is not the place for  this please move.

I have my appointment in 13 days, on the 18th, to see about getting my HRT medications. My being 70 years of age and some health issues but none serious, I am hoping to be approved. Emotions are all over the place and have been for quite a while now. Dysphoria from trying to get thick, white facial hair removed, a deep voice that stubbornly seems not wants to rise, being over 6 foot tall, even being identified as male when fully dressed up when i did try it once, and depression / anxiety from any and every thing possible.

Not knowing what to expect at my appointment and knowing that I have a 90 minute solo drive will only contribute to my negative thoughts and anxieties along the way. I have failed to find anyone to accompany me on the drive as yet to ease the dread.

Luckily there is a Transgender group meeting tonight, which I shall attend, and possibly may get some encouragement for some of my concerns. 

Release of Information forms have been faxed to the Clinics doctor from my GP and my Therapist as well, in anticipation of the need for additional information by them. I do not know what else I can do to that end. I keep wondering if I should present as I am or as I want to be. My mind is all over the place on this whole transitioning and I still have only really just started my journey. 

What have I got myself into, other than being happier already and smiling more than I have for a lonnnng time.

I just had to get this off my chest and I thought that my peers were the best place to express my thoughts and feeling.

Thank you all for listening. Love you all.

JoniSteph

[Jackie C.]

I presented as I wanted to be for my first visit. I went light on the makeup and dressed semi-casually. I used prosthetics to give myself a butt and a bust. I wore my very best attitude though and I had a lot of hope.

 

Don't get hung up on your voice. Voice work is hard. Especially if you're coming from a deep voice. There are tricks, but you need to practice and build up the right muscles just like any other exercise. I find it happy work to do my voice drills. Usually while I'm reading something else online. Any thirty-minute period you have to yourself will do though.

 

There are tricks to presenting as female as well. You'll learn them with practice. No skill comes without practice. Before you know it, they'll be automatic.

 

Anxiety aside, I'm glad you're happy to be moving forward. I know what it's like to stuff your true self down into the basement, and I know what a relief it is to let her out of her box. Congratulations and I wish you your best life going forward.

 

Hugs!

[NB Adult]

@JoniSteph Try to relax Joni, you are not alone. There are a supprising majority of MtF types who are seniors, well over 6' tall and who have typically male voices. We who are born genetically male tend to always measure people by their external appearance, consider the fact that what we are really all about is the internal being. Like the man said, "Don't worry, be happy!"

[TommieAnne]

5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Don't get hung up on your voice. Voice work is hard. Especially if you're coming from a deep voice. There are tricks, but you need to practice and build up the right muscles just like any other exercise. I find it happy work to do my voice drills. Usually while I'm reading something else online. Any thirty-minute period you have to yourself will do though.

 

Hugs!

If you think your voice is too deep to present as a woman, listen to recordings of Marlene Dietrich. No one ever accused her of being a man!

[Jani]

7 hours ago, JoniSteph said:

I just had to get this off my chest and I thought that my peers were the best place to express my thoughts and feeling.

Thats what this forum is here for so don't fret.

 

7 hours ago, JoniSteph said:

I do not know what else I can do to that end.

Be calm and remember to be honest when you speak to them at your appointment.  

 

7 hours ago, JoniSteph said:

I keep wondering if I should present as I am or as I want to be. My mind is all over the place on this whole transitioning and I still have only really just started my journey. 

You could just do a blend if you are still uncomfortable.  There is no harm in this as you are just starting.  You won't be looked at badly as not being "committed" or not serious. I didn't wear feminine clothing at first.  Remember this is a long trek not a sprint!  

 

As you noted, you are happier and this is important as it is one of our goals, to remove the things that sadden us. 

 

Reach out if you need to.

Hugs, Jani

[JoniSteph]

On Sunday when I created this post, I must have been so excited that I had forget how to count. It was 17 days between the 1st of December to the 18th, not 13 as the title had said. Not sure where the brain cells had rushed off to but they sure went missing while typing. * Can I blame it on a typo? * teehee

 

JoniSteph

[Jani]

Must have been those Happy Fingers!!

[Astrid]

JoniSteph,

 

HRT is certainly possible. I'm a year older than you and just started my first patch today. Required two visits to the clinic so it was pretty straightforward.  Looking forward to hearing how it goes for you!

 

Hugs,

 

Astrid 

[JoniSteph]

Thank you lovely ladies for the kind words of encouragement. I may make it through all this yet.  Even if the fingers do the Happy Dance for me - Jani. Time is coming fast but too slow - ( looking for my Magic Pill still ) hehe.

 

Bid Canadian Hugs all around,

 

JoniSteph

 

[JoniSteph]

Totally Lost as of late this afternoon. The Clinic I had an appointment with called and left a message cancelling my appointment in 2 days time for my HRT. The reason given was due to the uncertainty of the future of the clinic, they will not be taking on any NEW clients at this time. Where they are a self funded Clinic - abortion, family practice, and the only Trans clinic in the province, they get no funds from government and force people to drive up to 5 hours to 1 of 2 cities with funded hospitals for an abortion.

 

As of this moment I have no idea of my next step or how long a wait I may have even to see another Trans friendly Doctor.

 

Thanks for listening

Hugs

JoniSteph

[Susan R]

That is absolutely horrible news to get with only 2 days until your appointment, JoniSteph.  I wish I could offer you some great advise or a quick fix.  Sometimes life deals us a bad hand but I’m sure you’ll bounce back.

 

Is there any way you could talk to this clinic or hospital 5 hours away and see if you could work out some other method of getting lab results to them after a few initial consults?  I know that in some places here in the US, this is coming if not already a viable option.  I watched a video recently of one such doctor trying this sort of thing with patients within Washington’s State.  The video I saw is likely somewhere on their website if you’re interested. https://queerdoc.com/  You might see if there is anything like this available for you.  I know labs can be done online through local offices and sent from these affiliated offices to places like https://www.privatemdlabs.com/index.php

 

I wish I had more but I know you’re probably going to find a solution very soon.  Keep us posted and keep your head up.

My Best,

Susan R?

[ShawnaLeigh]

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

That is absolutely horrible news to get with only 2 days until your appointment, JoniSteph.  I wish I could offer you some great advise or a quick fix.  Sometimes life deals us a bad hand but I’m sure you’ll bounce back.

OH NO this IS horrible news indeed.  I am so sorry JoniSteph.  

I was actually looking for your posts to give you some encouragement and a couple Good Lucks!  I feel terrible over this.  I know what it means to you.  To any of us.

I sincerely hope you find a alternative asap.  

 

[Jackie C.]

I'm sorry to hear about the cancellation @JoniSteph. That's heartbreaking. I'm also sorry the clinic is in dire straits. We have a lot of that going on here in the States too. It's getting harder and harder to find a Planned Parenthood clinic that can manage to stay open and handle HRT.

 

One trans-friendly clinic in the province sounds ghastly. @Susan R mentioned remote visits and blood work. They were looking into that at U of M: Skype chats with the doctor and blood work taken at a local clinic. We're not there yet, but I put myself on the list if they want to run trials.

 

In the meantime... does anyone trans-friendly work out of a nearby hospital (I mean comparatively nearby)? There almost has to be another endocrinologist you can use. Maybe ask the NB Transgender Health Network for options or ideas?

 

Don't lose hope. You'll get there. It's just going to take a little longer than you thought.

 

Hugs!