I just need some venting space...

[A. Dillon]

I have pretty bad anxiety and depression, as in I am in therapy and have been recommended for medication. For the past few days, I have been having a depressive episode, which basically means that I don't want to leave my house or even my room while my mind slowlycobvinces me that I am going insane until I feel that I am. This has been made all the better by my dad continuing to question that I am trans, saying that it is because I have a stronger relationship with him than my mom. Now it's all I can think about. All the progress that I have made is turned to dust, and nothing can fix it. I have occasionally become suicidal because of this, but this time I just buzzed off the hair that I actually loved when the dysphoria was just getting unbearable. I don't know what to do, and I think I just need some assurance. 

[Carolyn Marie]

Hey, I totally understand what you're going through.  Just when you need support, or at the very least, some empathy, your father gives you the exact opposite of what you need.  It sucks, and I don't blame you for wanting to vent.

 

This is a time when you need to try and take control of your life and not let others control it, or you.  I'm not saying that you can just tell your dad where he can shove his opinions and walk out.  What I mean is that you should not let others get inside your head and tell you stuff that you know isn't true, and get all reactive about it.  That will surely send you into a fit of depression. 

 

So what to do, then?  Just stop listening to those negative outside voices, at least for now.  You know who you are, so listen to those inner voices and get reassurance from them.  Take positive actions.  For example, talk to your therapist about all this, get their advice, ask to get those meds so you can start feeling better.  Find something to take your mind off of this.  Most importantly, remember that what just happened is temporary and you can get through this.  Every single person has had setbacks, things that seemed horrible at the time, things that you thought you would never get over.  It's happened to me several times in my life.  We are very strong inside, and we can survive almost anything.  You will, too.

 

Another positive thing you can do is log into Chat and talk it over with a crisis counselor.  They're great at this stuff, and they can talk to you in real time, and not with long delays like in the forums.  Or send me or someone else here whom you trust a PM.

 

Words hurt, I know they do.  But they can't do lasting damage unless you let them.  Have you ever read the poem Invictus?  If not, Google it, and read it.  It's inspired me and gotten me through more than one bad time of life.  Maybe it will do the same for you.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Carolyn Marie

[TTheta]

Hey man I am here for you, I know what it's like. If you ever need to chat in private you can private message me  Maybe I can find a few tips to share that can help with coping. I am currently switching my medication and I feel a lot better than before, I finally feel stable.