Change last name?

[Lucca]

Trans people usually change their first name, but has anyone here changed their last name? I'm planning to change my last name as well as my first name, because my new name doesn't sound like it's "my own" if the last name stays the same, if that makes sense. It sounds like the name of some relative I've never met or something, not my name. My birth last name also reminds me too much of my intolerant extended family, and I don't want to think about them every time I use my name.

 

Only thing holding me back is that my parents have been really great through my transition, and I don't really want to distance myself from them... but I don't think that that desire is enough to override my desires to change it. Besides, every married woman in my family has changed her last name, it's not like people aren't dropping it constantly already.

[VickySGV]

I did not, but I know of plenty of others who have done it for just about every reason you can think of. 

[Carolyn Marie]

I didn't change my last name.  I think you would find that it's too difficult for many older transitioners; there is just too much legal, financial, employment and personal baggage associated with our surnames, and not enough good reasons to do it.  It's difficult and time consuming enough to change ones given name to even think about changing the surname.  Oh, almost forgot to mention another good reason for us geezers I mean older folk not to change; the fact that our spouses and children would be affected too.  So yeah, I think you get the idea...   

 

Carolyn Marie

[Lucca]

Yeah, spouse and children would make that difficult.

[ShawnaLeigh]

I guess the only way I will would be if I married someone in the distant future and choose to take my wife's last name, or dare I say, my 'Husbands' last name.  If I were being married to a male the I would take his last name for sure as I am old fashion that way.  

Anything's possible. 

Though marriage has not seemed to work out so good for me so I do not have much hope to really find love again no less marriage if the one I am in really does end.  

[Belle]

12 hours ago, Lucca said:

Trans people usually change their first name, but has anyone here changed their last name? I'm planning to change my last name as well as my first name, because my new name doesn't sound like it's "my own" if the last name stays the same, if that makes sense. It sounds like the name of some relative I've never met or something, not my name. My birth last name also reminds me too much of my intolerant extended family, and I don't want to think about them every time I use my name.

I've been toying with the idea of changing my last name because it's such a sickening source of pride for my immediate and extended family. I hadn't thought about doing it at the same time as my first name but it is an interesting idea!

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Belle said:

I've been toying with the idea of changing my last name because it's such a sickening source of pride for my immediate and extended family. I hadn't thought about doing it at the same time as my first name but it is an interesting idea!

 

If you're going to change both, definitely do them both at once. That way you only have to pay the fees once and only spend one day in court.

 

Hugs!

[Belle]

46 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

If you're going to change both, definitely do them both at once. That way you only have to pay the fees once and only spend one day in court.

 

Hugs!

Good advice as always Jackie!

[Cheyenne skye]

What about using a grandmother's maiden name? That way you can still have a connection to your family. 

[Belle]

1 hour ago, Cheyenne skye said:

What about using a grandmother's maiden name? That way you can still have a connection to your family. 

That's definitely something to consider, or something along those lines.

[ShawnaLeigh]

On 12/25/2019 at 12:28 AM, Cheyenne skye said:

What about using a grandmother's maiden name? That way you can still have a connection to your family. 

Although this is an excellent idea.  I would have an issue not using my current last name.

I am learning that just because I identify as a women.  I am still a sum of many aspects of my personality.  I still have the male persona inside too.  It will always be a part of who I am.  That male person is who I was for decades.  I still am for the most part due to where I am with my transition and how I have chosen to come out slowly.   Now I am slowly emerging as my feminine self too.  I'm still me.

I have no issue renaming the female persona but taking my last name away (less getting married) seem wrong to me.

I am still that person and a part of a long line of people who came before me.

 

Now I say this because I do not have issues with my family in the same respects others have listed.  Purging the negative is always a good idea and if that means total separation from your old name, both first, middle, and last, then by all means I fully understand that.

The great thing is you have the choice to do what you want.

It is nice to think of it that way.