Friend's boyfriend intimidating me

[ShawnaLeigh]

On 2/6/2020 at 10:31 AM, CodePoetSarah said:

shows that even though someone says they see me as female, they unconsciously react to me as a male.

I am experiencing this too big time.  I appreciate everyone’s efforts but it’s still there in there eyes and manner of speech.  

[CodePoetSarah]

I get this at work too, the feeling that some male colleagues are "humouring me" something in their tone, a pause or just how they react to me. I have come to the realisation that it's their problem, not mine. I am who I am and they just have to deal. I know it's hard sometime though, it gets me down occasionally.

[Jackie C.]

I think this is probably just part of the "girl experience" in the US. You're "just" a girl. A second class citizen. From the land of penis privilege they're basically "humoring" everyone who isn't one of them. I see it as a badge of honor. They accept me well enough that I'm "just" another unattractive woman to them. 

I mean sure, it's ugly, but it's also something I expected going in.

 

I'm a little condescending back. For example I was at the gym and discovered someone had disassembled one of the weighted pulleys. During my rest, one of the guys found where some of the pieces I had found came from. They fiddled with it a minute, but gave up.

Once I was done with my set, I grabbed the displaced part and got to putting it back together. 

 

One of the guys noticed and tried to make excuses. I smiled at him and in my sweetest voice said, "It's OK sweetie, I'm sure you loosened it for me."

 

Ego satisfied, he happily went on his way. 

 

Once you start thinking like a woman, the reaction you get from guys makes less and less sense. You want to read subtext that just doesn't exist for them. It's funny now to think about how clueless I used to be. 

 

Hugs!

[CodePoetSarah]

I think that's a good point, I had someone mansplain something to me once and I was happy as a clam over it ? 

My wife refers to the getting angry over this behaviour to women as normal, the lack of testosterone means it doesn't bother as much as it would, but does irritate me. My wife says "welcome to the slow burn"

[Jackie C.]

I've bonded with a bunch of new friends over talking about how hopeless the men folk are. Some are better about it than others, but the privilege changes the way they talk to women. I try not to take it personally. I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Hugs!