I'm Taking the Plunge!

[Georgette W]

I guess I'm a senior baby girl. Because of the religious nature and social prominence of my family in my old home town, I have many times found ways to talk myself out of transitioning -- and purged twice. Now at 68, my parents are in a home in Florida and I'm retired. I've done all I can to keep my wife informed of how I felt over the years -- since before our marriage actually. We celebrated 44 years together in December and we're still going strong. I decided to come out to my family in April of 2017, five months before my retirement from retailing. I'd worried for years about how that would go. I needn't have. My eight siblings took it all in stride. None have objected. Some wrote me letters admiring my courage or congratulating me. In fact, the only one opposing it was my father, now in his 95th year. I found out about it second hand. And before you say anything, yes he's still all there

It was later in 2017 that I finally went out dressed as I wanted to dress. Before that I'd only had the courage to do that at home. Again, I worried about it, but that was needless. I've been stared at a few times, but only once was it hostile. The others -- well -- I didn't realize that men would be attracted to women my age. I didn't expect it and wasn't prepared for it.

My wife is in precarious physical shape. I am her main caretaker and cannot leave her alone. That has delayed my transition. I just managed to get the gender marker on my state ID changed to female, but I haven't done anything with hormones or surgery yet. I'd very much like to do both. I also have worries about starting either at 68. Any advice?

One of the nice things about the county I live in is that I had the use of a mental health therapist for five months. I learned a lot under her guidance and her organization will write a letter of affirmation for me. She suggested that I become a more active participant in the Trans community. However because of my responsibilities as a caretaker, I don't get out much. So this group will become my community.

Love, Georgette

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the Forums, here you can be as out as you want to be and we hope you enjoy it.  You are not the only one here with family care problems, but they too have the support of their partner so you are not alone there.  I just hit 72 and this is my 11th year being out so I have a bit of mileage on life, but it is worth being free at last. .  

[ShawnaLeigh]

A very warm welcome to you Georgette.

I am happy you have found us.  It is a very supportive and accepting place and I love it here.

Good luck!

[TommieAnne]

Hi and welcome Georgette! You're mostly where I was about a year ago. Age and all.

I still present as male unless someone starts getting snuggly, then they realize the "difference".

I'm slowly coming together, a bit at a time, although a year back I felt the urge to stampede through this. Patience has helped.

I think you'll find yourself among friends here.

TA

[Jackie C.]

Salutations Georgette!

 

I'm glad that your family turned out to be (mostly) supportive. They might be able to talk your dad around. Then again, he's 95 and probably pretty set in his ways.

 

My advice to you for hormones is: Be as healthy as you possibly can. They put a strain on your system, and endocrinologists are timid by nature. T-Blockers affect your liver or kidneys depending on the drug. You mentioned that you don't get to leave the house much, but a treadmill (if you use it, anyway) and an exercise video (I did an hour of cardio dance) isn't a terrible way to get started. I personally shed about eighty pounds that way. You'll also want to look at your diet and eat as healthy as you can manage. Watch your macro and micro nutrients. You should be able to find a free app on your phone to help with keeping track. Personally, I just use the Samsung Health app that came with the phone.

That's good advice for the whole transition process really, be as healthy as you can manage. It pays off.

 

Don't be afraid to get active. I'm younger than you are, but my friend Rey is 68, half my weight and could easily break me in half. You can do it if you try.

 

I get compliments from older men myself. It's always older men though. I have no idea why. the young bucks probably think they could do better. Shows what they know. ?

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

54 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

I get compliments from older men myself. It's always older men though. I have no idea why.

Yea I get this only in reverse.  I get seriously chowed down by older women eyes like they are predators and I am meat.  The only women who have given me any verbal compliments are much older and said it a way that, well, is a tad uncomfortable now.  But I get it.

Once I present female full time I hope to attract at least a younger crowd.  Or more my own age even.  (Still hoping for women though-hehehe)

[Susan R]

13 hours ago, Georgette W said:

My eight siblings took it all in stride. None have objected. Some wrote me letters admiring my courage or congratulating me. In fact, the only one opposing it was my father, now in his 95th year.

Welcome Georgette..a pleasure to meet you.  I enjoyed reading up on your recent experiences with family and your coming out to them.  What are the odds that all eight siblings would be accepting?  This is such great news.  When I was at this point, I was worried to death about two of my siblings rejecting me.  A strange thing happened to me though.  I had two extremely vivid, real-like dreams, back to back, showing me that they were going to affirm my transition when I told them.  I told my wife about my dreams and said to her that I’ve lost the fear to come out to the family.  Needless to say, after that second dream, I came out to them all the very next day via phone (They live in different States).  They were both so understanding and comforting and the rest is history.  Did you have any dreams like this?  I wonder if this is has happened to anyone else!?

 

13 hours ago, Georgette W said:

I also have worries about starting either at 68. Any advice?

Age is a significant factor but a good doctor is really the only one who can tell you the answer to that.  Your fears may be completely unfounded.  Certainly, if you get the “go ahead” from a good respectable doctor who knows their stuff....live your life like there’s no tomorrow....within reason..lol

 

I, like the others here, am glad you found us and want to join in the fun.  I look forward to reading more about you here in the future.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Jani]

Hello Georgette and welcome to the forum.  Its never to late to live as you wish.  I am sorry to read of your wife's health.  I know you will do your best after 44 years.  We just clicked over that same number in December!  As to hormones, they will be safe under the care of a doctor that understands the protocols and who watches your vital signs.  Even now, I have blood drawn regularly to review the function of various organs.  As to how much, we don't openly discuss that online, but my doctor stresses how I feel.  I would recommend starting at a low dosage than going from there.  It appears from what I've read that Maryland is an "Informed Consent" state so you may be able to have your physician prescribe estradiol if they are comfortable doing so.  Transdermal patches seem to be the easiest and safest.  Otherwise they might recommend an Endocrinologist.  You may need to see a therapist who is versed in Gender studies to help you along.  

 

As to starting late there is no limit on what we can do, except our health and wellbeing.  I have a friend who had GRS a year ago at 71, another at 69 and one who will be having it soon at 66.  Thats great to have support of your siblings.  

 

Please join in the conversation.  We'd love to hear more from you.  

 

Cheers, Jani   

[JoniSteph]

Welcome Georgette: Glad to have you join us here with all friendliest people and most helpful that you could ask for.

I am 2 years older than you and presently in a holding pattern until I can find a path forward with a transition. I am sure that with your dedication to your spouse and sure that you will find a way forward with your transition as well.

Like you I came out to my family and friends and with only 1 exception, I was accepted by all with enthusiasm and great encouragement. Slowly even that son is coming around now.

I have gone out in public twice fully dressed to trans meetings, otherwise I only dress up within the confines of my house where I live alone. Practice my makeup and some of my voice training as well.

You will find your own transition path, timing, and how to's. If in doubt just ask here and you will get lots of hints and suggestions as well.

 

Good Luck & Big Canadian Hugs

 

JoniSteph

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Georgette,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug, 

Timber Wolf ?

[Charlize]

Welcome Georgette.  I dove in and went full time at 63 when i started HRT and got the surgery allowed by my doctors.  Today i live happily as myself.  The water certainly takes some getting used to.  It is hard to jump in but if you make that decision you will soon find other who will help you find you stay afloat until swimming comes naturally.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Georgette W]

Oh my! Thank you for the welcome.

I'm very happy to find other girls my age.

 

Love,

Georgette

[Sally Stone]

Hi Georgette, welcome!  I'm so glad you have decided to pursue your true gender, and you are sharing your journey with us, how wonderful.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally