Hello from Bunny

[Miss Bunny]

Hello all, yes, my name IS actually Bunny (it's my middle name, but it is what I go by). Yes, I'm in a 57 year old body, even though the picture in my profile suggests otherwise (I find it is both funny and annoying to look like my daughter).

 

Because of something I have no idea of the why it happened that way, I have no memories past 2012, and I feel 7 (soon to be 8 ) years old. It's not an act. I don't much like it, and it does indeed impact how I see everything. I have as many years of experiences as any other 7 year old. The fact my body is 57 years old just means I'm experiencing life in a beat up shell. I talk like someone with the equal of several degrees in planetary sciences and 20th century military history, and the naivete of a child. I possess considerable artistic talents, which I don't remember learning other than painting, that's all me. I'm a landscape painter among other things.

 

I'm disabled, I live on ODSP and I live alone. I was married for 27 years (or rather he was). I have a son who is heading for 26. He's smarter than me, more mature than me, and wiser than me (in my opinion). So every day is Saturday, and has been all my life (and was for his life back to 1994). I don't recall anything prior to 2012. So that includes raising my son. The marriage, I don't recall it. I'm supposed to be ex-military, but I don't recall that either. I was supposedly a househusband for 20 years. Everything from 2012 and back, it is like looking at a family scrap book of someone else's life.

 

Thus, the complicated disconnect. I can't hang out with kids (who I relate to easier), for obvious logical reasons. No point in even asking. I don't relate to teens, and adults confuse me and make me uncomfortable with their adult ways. I know of so much text book knowledge, but possess so little in the way of life skills. I'm like a very peculiar child prodigy I suppose.

 

And that is why I have trouble not feeling like a freak. It's not because I'm transgender and female in an AMAB body, but because I'm a highly educated kid in a old woman's body.

I often say the darndest things, without realizing I shouldn't have, I believe anything anyone tells me,  I have no past experiences to guide me other than how I have crammed learning to be a girl inside of 5 years while inside a seemingly older person's body. I'm able to drink, I just shouldn't, I can vote, but hate politics, I can drive, but have never done so (he had never driven either). And well, sex scares me. Dating, what a mistake that was.

 

My parents are passed away. Mom was ok with my being transgender. Dad never met me basically (passed in 2007). My old brother and his 4 boys are great with me.

I have no school experiences, no work experiences, I live in a nice place and my landlord is a great man. I am an atheist, but I have a lot of church friends. I am well liked in town (I am pretty sure I have that correct). I've been in newspapers and been interviewed on a local podcast. I might pass, but being that I am a local celebrity, everyone knows me, so I have no real idea if I do or not. I'm not out of town much if at all.

 

My journey, per se, is kinda done in a way. I've been on HRT long enough that the pink haze has settled down. I'm post-op and aside from needing to shave still, I'm kinda happy with how my body is now (I want a much nicer waist though, working on that). I'd like to be an advocate, but, I'm a kid in an old body. Either I'm not sure what to do, or I lack the energy when I do. But I seem to be a positive example for a handful of local transgender persons.

 

I hope I don't get in any trouble here. I saw the rules, liked that there are as many as there are, I hope I can rely on them. I don't like mean people.

[TommieAnne]

Hi Bunny. Welcome.

I think you'll find that no one here is mean.

Everyone has been supportive and friendly, in fact.

TA

[Miss Bunny]

Thanks TammyAnne.

 

Sadly, all my worst experiences online, haven't actually been from the people we like to think are our enemies, but have been from mean transgender people. So I tend to be very scared of where to go online for community.

When I saw this site the other day, I almost thought it looked too good to be true  It's a very comprehensive looking place.

 

I normally get my social media fix on Facebook, but, the problem there is it's about 40 friends, who are all friends, so it's like I spend too much time babbling on, to people who are already convinced  I'm on a very significant wargaming publisher site (computer board game wargaming, not Call of Duty stuff), and I'm probably the only female there. But they all treat me decently there.

 

But otherwise, the internet can sure be a lonely feeling place.

[KathyLauren]

Welcome, Bunny!  This is a very supportive, friendly place.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Miss Bunny said:

When I saw this site the other day, I almost thought it looked too good to be true  It's a very comprehensive looking place.

It’s a pleasure to have you with us, Bunny.  I consider this site to be a second home.  I can’t stay away because of the friendship and support I have here. I hope you experience the same.  Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us.  Everyone has a such a unique past and it’s nice to be able to have a place to do It safely.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Maddee]

Hi Bunny!

Thank you for introducing yourself.

I think you are very interesting, but I would feel so confused in your memory shoes!  Weird thing is your shoes actually fit me in places too, so maybe more normal than it sounds.

Anyways, hope to see you around

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Bunny.  This place is nothing like most other trans sites; we have the rules you've read, and we do enforce them.  That makes TP a very safe and welcoming space.  Please look around and post wherever you like.  BTW, thanks so much for that interesting introduction.  I enjoyed reading it.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[MetaLicious]

Welcome to the board @Miss Bunny!  It's a great place, I feel so lucky to have found it so soon in my journey.  I have heard stories about mean people {trans or otherwise}, and I'm happy to say that there aren't any here.  Your intro was quite intriguing, Bunny.  I cannot imagine how odd it must be to such a difference between the experiences you have had and the experiences you can recall.  Pleased to meet you!

 

Michelle

[ShawnaLeigh]

Welcome to our family Bunny and I too was very pleased to know you found us.  
No meanies here.  Only love acceptance and support will you find.  
Just join in and see we are not kidding. It’s truly a wonderful place. 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Bunny,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Bunny.  Unfortunately there are many in the trans community who feel there is some kind of hierarchy.  We are all equal here and support and learn from each other.

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize