Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello! Parent of F to M teen!


QuitaAnita

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone,

 

First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I’m a mama of three kiddos and our oldest came out to us almost two years ago as pansexual. Me having a brother who is gay and other family members and friends in the LGBTQ+ community was very accepting. About a year later our son came out and told us he felt like he was in the wrong body. My husband and I have been very accepting of my son and I am just blessed that he was able to come out to us and finally be himself. He’s come out to most of our family and so far we haven’t had anyone being negative about him becoming his true self, but we have had a lot of family and friends shocked because as a kid (he will be 15 in August) we didn’t see any signs of my then daughter, feeling like she was in the wrong body, but I guess that’s the thing, sometimes you don’t know until something inside you clicks and you realize who you’re meant to be. We love our son. I have to admit, the only thing about him coming out to us that I was upset with was being upset towards myself. This amazing kid who is selfless and tries to live up to a standard of who he thought we wanted him to be, had to go through all of this by himself. I honestly felt like a crappy mom, both my husband and myself just felt bad for not noticing. It’s been a long journey and I’m just glad I found this forum to have others to talk to, vent with and learn from. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, QuitaAnita said:

We love our son. I have to admit, the only thing about him coming out to us that I was upset with was being upset towards myself. This amazing kid who is selfless and tries to live up to a standard of who he thought we wanted him to be, had to go through all of this by himself. I honestly felt like a crappy mom, both my husband and myself just felt bad for not noticing. 

Welcome QuitaAnita, I am so glad you decided to give us a try here. I truly hope you find love and support here. We are here for that purpose among others.

 

You don’t need to beat yourself up for not seeing this.  As a defense mechanism we (trans people like myself) learn very well how to hide behind invisible walls and only let those around us see what they expect.  Your son sounds like an incredible person and it is so helpful for him to have your support.  Whether he has mentioned it or not, I can tell you that it means the world to him having you there in his corner.

 

Feel free to talk, vent and learn.  There are so many good people here that I’m sure you’ll get the best of the best support when you need it.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Welcome Quita. It's always nice to hear stories of family acceptance with LGBT people. If you have any questions in regards to your son's transition, or questions in general, I'm sure there's going to be someone here who has been through similar things who can guide you both along. 

 

Hope to see you around. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Seriously, what @Susan R said. We hide very well. Especially when we're young. Between not wanting to disappoint parents and not wanting to get thrashed by the other children, trans kids get very, very good at burying who they are. On the other hand, your child felt she was safe to come out to her family. That's huge. Give yourself a pat on the back for that and maybe another one for accepting her for who she is. Not as many parents as you'd think are capable of doing that.

 

Welcome to the family @QuitaAnita. I hope you can find your answers here. We'll do our best to help as much as we can.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Welcome QuintaAnita. I hope you will feel at home here in this warm, accepting and caring place.

TA

Link to comment

Another one to chime in on hiding.  I hid for over 40 years.  It was terrible but I did it out of fear and anxiety over rejection.  
I truly wish I had been brave enough to come out and fight for it at your sons age.  That’s the age I decided to push it down and hide.  
It warms my heart knowing their are parents who understand and support their children in this way.  
So yes you are in a wonderful place to learn and ask questions and it is a Very supportive family friendly place so your children are just as welcome.  We have several young folks here.  
Hope to hear more from you and your son!

Link to comment

Thank you all for the warm welcome and for the positive reassurance. This mama definitely needed to hear it. ❤️

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Quita Anita.  Thank you for your support of your son, and willingness to come here to learn more about him and what he's going through and how to support him.  He is blessed to have wonderful parents.  I hope you find all the info here that you need, and if you don't see it, please ask.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   12 Members, 0 Anonymous, 148 Guests (See full list)

    • Sorourke
    • Petra Jane
    • MaeBe
    • Riya
    • Mmindy
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • April Marie
    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Stacie.H
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,034
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Riya
    Newest Member
    Riya
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sorourke
      Hi I’ve shaved, epilated and used creams but hair always grows back stubbly and myself and wife hate it maybe the only way really is blockers or hrt
    • VickySGV
      For a bunch of reasons -- Let's not and say we did!!  
    • Carolyn Marie
      We should submit all of the poetry from this site's Poetry Forum and see what they think of all that good stuff!    I'd love to frame their rejection letter.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      Your brother is the person who has decided that "sin" is involved because he has lost control of a part of his life by you taking on your authentic self.  It is not because you have committed any Sin per se, but because he is no longer controlling your life, evangelicism or other wise.  He is using formula words and ideas hoping to re-gain that control over you.  Your Roman Catholicism vs. his choices of religion would be enough to do it in many many cases.  Your being Trans is just one more area of his losing his control.   If your brother were also Roman Catholic, I suspect he would be the same way about you on just the Trans issue itself no matter what your priests would tell him -- he has lost control of your life and is afraid he has lost control of his life.    Family members of any religion who fear loss of control will often cite scriptures they believe support their Position.  If Bible verses are needed, Matthew. 10:34-8 which speaks of division in families over religion would be a casual point directed at your brother's control issues. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This might help. These are the grace and lace letters dealing with Christianity and transgenderism from someone who struggled with the "conflict".   https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/catalog?f[collection_name_ssim][]=Grace+and+Lace+Letter&sort=dta_sortable_date_dtsi+asc%2C+title_primary_ssort+asc  
    • Sorourke
      Back again love conquers all I don’t think my wife and kids would hold me hostage but if I explain it right to them it might prove how much I’ve lived them over many years
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am an evangelical  I am also transgender.  This is an issue. I have read up on it.  I am not an expert, but I have done a lot of reading.   One thing I do not get about people who take that position is that evangelicals are all about salvation by faith alone by Christ alone by grace alone - unless you are transgender.  Then you cannot be saved, these say, unless you do the work of un-transgendering yourself.  Which is, practically, impossible.  I have read the "solutions" and I don't buy them, obviously, because they do not work.    In evangelicalism salvation is by faith alone, Christ alone, grace alone, without any merit of our own.  That means, to an evangelical, we come to Christ as we are,  in the words of a glorious hymn,   1 Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidd'st me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   2 Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot, to thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   3 Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   4 Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   We do not clean ourselves up BEFORE we come to Christ.  We let Him clean us up AFTER we come to Him.    Those who insist that transgender people cannot be saved are actually preaching another Gospel, a Gospel of works, and have wandered away from the glorious Gospel into works.  That is strong but true.   Struggling with legalism and grace, I have found more of God's mercy and grace available to me because I struggle with being transgender and seeking His resolution of it.  Which, not having the struggle, I would not have needed to seek Him earnestly on this.     
    • Jet McCartney
      Eventually, (especially if you start T,) things will even out. The excitement you feel is from everything being so new. Finally knowing yourself and having others recognise you can be thrilling. However, because it is your natural state of being, eventually that wears off. There's nothing exciting about it anymore because it's "just you." (Which is a perfect thing to be!) This, however, can lead to disappointment. Trust me when I say however, that that disappointment and jarring reaction to wrong pronouns will go away, and you'll once again feel comfortable in yourself.
    • Ashley0616
      I love long hair. I'm wanting my hair to touch the floor. I guess we shall see how long it can get.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
      I wear a wig most of the time.  But I can get by with my natural (shoulder length) hair if I wear a hat or something to cover the mostly empty top. Unfortunately that train has left the station, sigh.
    • Ashley0616
      Normal is a word in the dictionary and a setting on washing machine. 
    • Ashley0616
      Spending time with my kids amazing!
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...