Hi there

[Daniellesturn]

Well I'm a 40 year old trans girl who's lost in a world that doesn't understand her. Guess I cant blame them I dont understand her half the time lol. Been on hrt for about 16 months now. I've just been taking it 1 step at a time but I'm coming up on a big step of expanding the small pool of people I'm out to. This has been wearing on me lately so if you see any depressed rants in the forums from me its probably me stressing over it. I try to tell myself I dont care what people say and think but apparently that's a lie because some days I literally lose my mind over it. See I'm starting the rant already. Pretty sad when your own intro triggers you lol.

So anyway I joined I guess mainly looking for a sense of community, maybe some online friends to chat with.

 

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Danielle.  Welcome!

 

Yes, that in-between phase where you are partly out and partly not is stressful.  I only lasted three months after I started HRT, and then I just had to come out to the world.   The dysphoria would have driven me crazy if I'd tried to last any longer.

 

You might be pleasantly surprised once you are out.  In spite of the horror stories in the news, most people are accepting of us, and most of the rest just don't care one way or the other.  I live in a small village (population maybe 200 if you include the surrounding farms) of mostly fishermen, farmers, and hillbillies.  I expected the worst.  But one morning, I stood up at the weekly coffee gathering and announced that I was transitioning, and that henceforth, would they please call me Kathy?  I got some surprised looks, and there was the odd misgendering of pronouns over the next few weeks, but I had absolutely no hostility at all.  Everyone has been supportive or accepting.

 

So, good luck as you move forward.  May your transition be as uneventful as mine.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Cyndee]

Welcome Danielle to Trans Pulse forums and nice to have you with us

 

 Indeed having an online resource to discuss such topics is very beneficial, ranting or venting is OK here, and can be quite therapeutic. I hope your expanding coming out goes well, as Kathy eludes to most don't care one way or the other these days. It's up to you to live your life as authentically as possible, the rewards are many. 

 

I hope you find your time here useful and enjoyable. Have a look around, and post away as the mood strikes ya

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee 

[Daniellesturn]

Thanks for the welcomes and I know most of my issues are just my irrational mind making up extreme scenarios that aren't very likely.

[Jackie C.]

Salutations @Daniellesturn!

 

I'm afraid my experience is similar to @KathyLauren's. I announced my intention to transition and... to date... exactly one person has had a problem with it. I've been adopted by the ladies at my gym who are trying to help me develop an actual butt (nature is against us, alas) and I've made a ton of new friends. My wife is supportive and on-board with it (though she does have a few things she's working through). It turns out Jackie is a lot more likable than *deadname* ever was and a lot easier to live with. Who knew?

 

So yeah. Welcome to the forums. Feel free to poke around. Ask questions. Say silly things. Engage. Rant. Vent. We're here for you if you need us.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

Welcome Danielle.  This is a good place to share both triumphs and defeats, not to mention fears.  You are not alone in those feelings.  There is a great saying in a 12th step group i attend.  "Troubles shared are troubles halved".  

Winging is allowed.  I've done my share here over the years and those fears have faded or disappeared.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Danielle.  We're glad to have you here, and I hope we can be of service.  Congrats on getting onboard the Womanhood Express.  It's a wild and interesting ride.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[TommieAnne]

Hi Danielle! Welcome!

As others have already said, this is great place to read, share, learn, hope, fear and even complain about the weather!

TA

[Susan R]

On 3/1/2020 at 2:53 AM, Daniellesturn said:

This has been wearing on me lately so if you see any depressed rants in the forums from me its probably me stressing over it. I try to tell myself I dont care what people say and think but apparently that's a lie because some days I literally lose my mind over it.

Hello Danielle and welcome to the forums.  I understand the stress of coming out first hand. I won’t lie, it changes your life in many ways....some good, others not so much.  Unfortunately, as you know, it’s not a journey milestone you can easily sidestep.  Yes, you can postpone it for a time but if you want to fully embrace your womanhood it is a necessary step for most.

 

‘Coming out’ reminds me of my recent ear piercing.  I avoided it forever because I had built up this imaginary idea the pain would be too intense (I have low pain threshold).  When I finally bit the bullet, I was amazed at how temporary that pain was and how wonderful it felt experiencing this new feminine adornment I so much wanted.   Don’t get me wrong...coming out is much more difficult and sometimes the pain can linger but overall it feels like a breakthrough but the analogy hold true, imho. Eventually, you’ll do what you need but know you’ll experience a freedom and motivation to move forward to your goal.

 

On 3/1/2020 at 2:53 AM, Daniellesturn said:

So anyway I joined I guess mainly looking for a sense of community,

I am sure this will be the case.  You do receive what you put into it.  I’ve found that to be true here and in life in general. It’s all about a sharing of our lives to learn and grow. I hope to learn more about you and your journey as time permits.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Chrysalis]

Greetings!

When I came out about, umm, 11/12 years ago, there were guidelines offered and typically imposed by physicians, therapists, etc. You were to choose yer new name (if you hadn't already) and then begin introducing yourself to family, neighbors, etc. You were instructed to dress like the new you everywhere in the neighborhood, at first. Then, after going for walks and allowing yourself to be seen in just 'The Hood' for a certain period of time (I forget the exact umber of days), then you should take a trip to a store presenting as the new you. 

I forget what they had to say about going to work the way, but I am waaayyyy disabled and it didn't apply.

My first time going out as 'outed' was with my live in girlfriend, who had no idea before and struggled hideously with it for some time. She's been a little miracle and has even attended counseling with me. That first time out, we went to dinner and no one said anything or acted strange. The only odd thing was when I got in a huff about having been given an unwashed coffee cup as there was a lipstick print on it. My partner thought this funny since it was my own lipstick that I was complaining about.

 

Now we I've in Portland, Oregon, which is famed for it's precious weirdness and I seem to fit right in. 

 

Good going, Sweetie. . .it's worth the trip, I swear it. 

 

 

 

Best of 

[Firenze]

Welcome, Danielle. 

[Lexi C]

Hey Danielle. I am confused,,,you pic's say beautiful woman. So if yr close friends  and fam still can't fig it out then they properly don't have an issue with it. In my experience , at the end of day the only one with the issues is us and if we can work through then the rest is gravy.  As for the rants , depression and so on...I am right there with you sister. you can always em *******@gmail.com if you need to rant off line and just need an friend ear.

Be Safe, Be Proud and Kick Ass

 

 

 

 

Edited March 3, 2020 by Susan R
Forum Rule 21 You may not share personally identifying information or contact information anywhere on the site that is publicly visible. For your safety, we recommend not sharing it at all.

[Daniellesturn]

14 hours ago, Alex C said:

Hey Danielle. I am confused,,,you pic's say beautiful woman. So if yr close friends  and fam still can't fig it out then they properly don't have an issue with it. In my experience , at the end of day the only one with the issues is us and if we can work through then the rest is gravy.  As for the rants , depression and so on...I am right there with you sister. you can always em *******@gmail.com if you need to rant off line and just need an friend ear.

Be Safe, Be Proud and Kick Ass

Thank you, I have been getting more awkward stares lately, so something is becoming noticeable. I'm sure my hair color and styling didnt help.

[Lexi C]

So for the late reply..west coast girl and I work 10 -16 hrs days. Your hair look amazing, would not change a thing. Keep being you and the world will follow