Hello, friends!

[Lorchie]

Hello, new friends! My name is Luke and I've been a little nervous as to what direction I'm debating on taking my life. 

 

I'm 22 and I've identified as male almost my whole life. I never really thought about gender identity but over the past few years I've been noticing a desire to...come across different, I suppose. I want to be able to look at myself and be pleased with what I see, y'know?

 

What I specifically identify as isn't super defined for me. Non-binary? Gender-fluid? Maybe one of those fits well but I haven't landed on an exact term that resonates with me, but that's not a bad thing!

 

To be frank, I just want to look more feminine. Feminine clothes, face, body proportions, that kinda thing. However, I don't consider myself trans, necessarily, since I can be pretty comfortable just sitting right in the middle on certain days. Voice training is almost out of the question as I work in radio and my voice is my career lol so probably no changing that.

 

I haven't told anyone that I feel this way yet. I've only talked to my therapist and she's been so supportive. 

 

All in all, I was born a male and just want to look feminine, either by changing my clothes, body, face, or all of the above. HRT is something I've considered for a bit, and I know some non-binary people micro dose to get their bodies to a place they're more comfortable with, but I worry the stigma of me not specifically identifying as trans would make some think that I'm not being serious about it. 

 

Thanks for reading all of that! That's basically where I'm at right now. What do y'all think? Am I jumping the gun on wanting HRT to be happier with my body? Is it totally something I should try out? Do you perceive walking down a more feminine road for my life leads to something that won't work out? Am I worrying too much? (probably) Any replies are much appreciated ❤️

[tracy_j]

Hi Luke, welcome to Trans Pulse. Thank you for your introduction. It's nice to meet you!

 

Please feel free to look around and read, post and join in as you feel. This is a safe friendly place where you can get to understand yourself and others a little more.

 

My opinion would be to further explore your own feelings . HRT is a bit of a step and I would strongly suggest that you discuss things with a gender therapist before progressing to that. Self medication (should you be contemplating it) is dangerous, can, and has in many cases, led to major health problems or worse. A gender therapist would help you tease out your inner feelings which you are now questioning.

 

Obviously a lot depends upon your social situation and local situation. For myself, I present androgyne or female practically 100% of the time, very seldom wearing any male clothing. I am not on HRT or had surgery but I have no real body dysphoria issues, at least not to the extent of many others here. It is possible to live 'very feminine' but it can be tricky as obviously there are the issues of identity and relationships with family and partners etc. I feel it is easier to live permanently like that though than occasionally dressing as people do get used to my looks, rather than being suddenly surprised at coming across me wearing a dress. I do also style my hair and keep very clean shaven and live the life to match.

 

Try not to worry, just explore and enjoy. As you progress to understand yourself things will become clearer. There is no rush.

 

Tracy

[ShawnaLeigh]

3 hours ago, tracy_j said:

Hi Luke, welcome to Trans Pulse. Thank you for your introduction. It's nice to meet you!

 

Please feel free to look around and read, post and join in as you feel. This is a safe friendly place where you can get to understand yourself and others a little more.

 

My opinion would be to further explore your own feelings . HRT is a bit of a step and I would strongly suggest that you discuss things with a gender therapist before progressing to that. Self medication (should you be contemplating it) is dangerous, can, and has in many cases, led to major health problems or worse. A gender therapist would help you tease out your inner feelings which you are now questioning.

 

Obviously a lot depends upon your social situation and local situation. For myself, I present androgyne or female practically 100% of the time, very seldom wearing any male clothing. I am not on HRT or had surgery but I have no real body dysphoria issues, at least not to the extent of many others here. It is possible to live 'very feminine' but it can be tricky as obviously there are the issues of identity and relationships with family and partners etc. I feel it is easier to live permanently like that though than occasionally dressing as people do get used to my looks, rather than being suddenly surprised at coming across me wearing a dress. I do also style my hair and keep very clean shaven and live the life to match.

 

Try not to worry, just explore and enjoy. As you progress to understand yourself things will become clearer. There is no rush.

 

Tracy

I can not say anything that Tracey has not already said.  Well said @tracy_j!!!

I can say welcome to our family and I am happy you have found us.

Pull up a seat around our camp fire and enjoy learning about yourself!

[Jackie C.]

Tragically, there is no handbook for non-binary genders. We all have our own path to being comfortable in our own bodies. What makes me work won't necessarily work for someone else. So yes, discuss with your gender therapist. Discuss with us. Get all the information you can and then, when you're sure, do what you need to do. Especially if it's something you can't take back. 

 

I wouldn't discount voice training either. Some voice therapists teach you to switch back and forth. You could find it improves your radio voice by expanding your range. You might even be able to write it off as a business expense. 

 

So yeah, welcome to the family. Pleasure to meet you. Feel free to ask questions and explore. Don't worry about feeling silly, we were all new once and we hardly ever eat anyone. Hardly ever. 

 

Hugs!

[Astrid]

6 hours ago, Lorchie said:

HRT is something I've considered for a bit, and I know some non-binary people micro dose to get their bodies to a place they're more comfortable with, but I worry the stigma of me not specifically identifying as trans would make some think that I'm not being serious about it. 

I'm one if those non-binary people currently microdosing. There was no stigma about this from my therapist, PCP, or the clinic and doctor prescribing the estradiol. The issue for me is centered around finding a dosage that works for me without changes that I may not want. Specifically,  breast growth,  which is permanent. After 3 months, I'm at a stage where I'll need to wear loose fitting shirts this summer...and I'm actually fine with that. The benefit of HRT addressing my dysphoria is real and I will need to keep monitoring things closely moving forward.  Stay tuned,  as they say ?

 

Astrid

[Lorchie]

Thank you all so much for the response! It was more helpful than anything I hoped for. 

 

Hearing wht y’all have to say made me feel a lot more at ease, and I’ll definitely talk to more professionals and whatnot before making any more big decisions. I’ve got an appointment with my therapist this weekend so we’ll see how that goes! ☺️