Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Is Some high power playing a joke on Trans people


Lexi C

Recommended Posts

I feel like someone is playing a joke on me. I mean why was I born this way? What god made me a man if  at the end I suppose to be woman. The -holy buckets- I (WE) have to jump through just to slightly feel normal. All the surgeries, the electrolysis, laser, wigs just so I can moderately look like the bein I was suppose to be at birth. Then this Anthony Hopkins high power toss in loneness and Dysphoria as F.U . Maybe I am the only one feeling this way, just tried of trying to look like a real woman. Afraid that I will just be a freak for the rest of my life. I Don't EVEN KNOW IF WHAT I HAVE IS A DISEASE. or am I just clinically insane.. We are force to go to doctors , most states and healthcare facilities call  it a condition or a disease  I hate posting because I always feel like manic depressive loser, but seriously r we some kinda of experiment going wrong cause I just frustrated, upset and drain 

Link to comment

Well said @Alex C

I sympathize with you and also question myself @Alex C, including everything from doctors refusing or being untrained to deal with TG people. This includes clinics, Endos, therapists and other professionals together with their ridiculously long wait times.  Trying to find hope in among all that and still move ahead with planning for the future. as you say - deal with the hair removal issues, facial / makeup appearance by training, the wigs to cover male pattern baldness at elder ages, and body reshaping to make ones shape to resemble a CIS female.

Like you Alex,  I am questioning myself as to whether or not I shall ever be happy within the body that I now know should have been born into. Instead of finding out through therapy within the past year and a half as to why the suicide attempts, mental health problems over the years and the dysphoria of body and mind.

Felt like someone goof up on the mold when they made me and should have done a re-casting right away and not waited for me to try and do it now.  <SIGH >

 

Have a great day all

 

Canadian Hugs All

JoniSteph

Link to comment
  • Admin

You don't have a disease, Alex, nor are you insane.  Yes, we go through these trials to be the person we need to be, but maybe that's meant to test our resolve.  If we get through the gauntlet it means that we have what it takes, that we've persevered and outlasted all the naysayers and doubters, that we deserve that new gender.

 

It will be/is worth it, Alex.  You have to believe that, because its true.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

I certainly understand the frustrations and for some this is a mountain for others a mole hill.  However I can say that One, God does not make mistakes, and Two some have a much harder journey in life then others by design.  This is because we are all unique and special in his eyes and that he puts us on this path for a reason.  It can take a lifetime to understand only a bit of why.  Being born into the wrong body is not how you should look at it.  Being born was the gift and what you do with that gift is yours to decide.  If you discover you have dirfferent feeling or desire then society's cis norm then that's on them not God.   Your are beautiful as you are and can only be better if you chose to be.

Or so I recall from my catholic teachings when I was a child.    

 

I tend to agree that not everyone has it hard and at times it does not seem fair to those that do, and some have it absolutely terrible.  After being born we all make choices, even at the youngest of ages and these put us on a path that has infinite outcomes based on the next choice and the choice after that and so on.  

Most of my life I chose to do the wrong things for myself and suffered dearly many times over.  Decades worth!  But I look back and see where I went wrong over and over again.  I chose poorly based on the lies I was trying to live.  Being trapped by fears and anxiety and depression.

 

Now I chose to be me and press forward regardless of how hard or easy it is.  I know who I am inside and I know who I want to be on the outside.  I can only do my best with both.  

In the end you have to choose who you are and want to be and do it.  No one is going to do it for you or make it any easier.  Yes some support and accept which is awesome.  Some don't which sucks.  That's life.

Hard and cruel and wonderful and beautiful.  

You chose.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

There was a time when i felt the same anger and despair i hear in your post Alex.  All i can offer is what has helped me.  I came here and shared, not only my disappointments but the small triumphs.  Just being able to go to the store was such a huge step.

Even getting out the door had been a dream.

After spending some time with a gender therapist and time here my path eased a good bit.  Time has brought acceptance.  Are things perfect?  No.  I am finding peace as myself however.  I'm simply a trans woman living my life as myself and that is a miracle in itself.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Fair. Being trans is hard.

 

The fantasy where I'm born in the right body gets a lot of play. So does the one where I wake up as a nineteen-year-old woman with a note that says, "Sorry about the mix-up." I kind of prefer the second one. I don't want to endure high school again, but I'd like to be a pretty young hottie for my wife.

Of course I'd also like to be pretty, successful, enjoy eternal youth and be independently wealthy. If I get to pick my life, let's shoot for the moon.

 

It's frustrating but there's nothing you can do about that. Well, there are a few things. You can be active in the community about acceptance, getting us included in anti-discrimination laws, etc... You can help others that are going through what you did. You can just be a shining example of a human being so people look at you and think, "Wow, that person is really nice/pleasant/cool/awesome/whatever."

 

Being trans isn't the greatest starting point in life. It makes a lot of things more difficult. It makes some people pre-judge you based on their preconceptions. On the other hand, it's just a starting point. What you choose to do with your life is still entirely up to you. You may have to try harder, but being trans is no excuse not to try.

 

By all means come and vent to us (or anyone really) when things get difficult. That's human. We all need reassurance, pampering and a pat on the head now and then. Once you're ready though, go out and strive to live your best life. In the end, trans or not, that's all any of us can do.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

As the lovely ladies before me have stated in not so many words, but believe in ourselves and work towards what we wantand deserve in this short life time to make one happy. Whether it is by expression on forums such as this, to a therapist, in a group, or even to a close friend. I have taken it one step further to even by emails to the press, politicians, advocacy groups for LGBTQ rights, and attending local trans group meeting. Wanting to start a localized forums for the 3 regional provinces, to help with common problems getting support for transgender folks.

At least it helps me divert my attention away from myself and my not going anywhere in my transition. It does allow me to encourage the few that I have met online.

So @Alex C keep your head held high and keep looking forward to your goal in life, you will succeed. <HUGS> 

You can do it too.

 

JoniSteph

Link to comment

This planet, Earth, is yours as much as it is anyone elses, Live your life the way how you want & find your happiness, as long as what you're doing isn't harmful. Often times people forget that there is no rules to being a human really, Just be yourself & stay out of everyone elses business unless they ask for help and i guarantee that you'll see a positive change in life. 

Stay strong xo ❤️

Link to comment

Thanks ladies..I really learn a lot from all of you. I guess I keep forgetting that life is for the living..So much lv from all you,  that it just overwhelms me with happiness. Thank you again 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hi Alex, 

 

I was reading thru older posts and saw this. I just joined and I want you to know that I have read some of your posts and never has it entered my mind that you were a loser. And for how we were born, maybe we were supposed to be this way. It's some crazy idea that society has that we are flawed or something is wrong with us. Society's norms do a whole lot of damage and trauma to people!

 

Kay

Link to comment
On 3/12/2020 at 7:10 AM, ShawnaLeigh said:

Being born into the wrong body is not how you should look at it.  Being born was the gift and what you do with that gift is yours to decide.

I agree that we are who and what we are was determined at the time of conception and that God made us for His purposes. I have chosen to get involved in the battle for non discrimination, both locally and on the state level. Next stop, at the polls in November!

 

Hugs from my fortress,

Brandi

Link to comment

Thanks Kay that means a lot. 

BB your right......time to KICK ASS

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
7 hours ago, Oh_Kay said:

And for how we were born, maybe we were supposed to be this way.

@Oh_Kay you may be right!  I wouldn't trade who I am or who I turned out to be. 

 

@Alex C Keep moving forward, striving to be the best you possible. 

 

Jani

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 104 Guests (See full list)

    • Ladypcnj
    • MirandaB
    • Lydia_R
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,047
    • Most Online
      8,356

    MAN8791
    Newest Member
    MAN8791
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adamtoeve
      Adamtoeve
      (38 years old)
    2. Andy C.
      Andy C.
      (22 years old)
    3. Asher the Enby Goddex
      Asher the Enby Goddex
      (23 years old)
    4. camerashy
      camerashy
      (52 years old)
    5. Stacy S.
      Stacy S.
      (55 years old)
  • Posts

    • EasyE
      It has been about six weeks since I started the HRT journey. Today I officially "upgraded" to a new level of patch. I can't believe how giddy I was when A) the doc responded so quickly to my request for a new prescription, as I thought as I was going to have to wait a few weeks for my current one to run out; B) the pharmacy filled my new prescription so quickly -- in like an hour from when the doc emailed; and C) when I got home and put the new patch in place as quickly as possible...   Six weeks in and I would say it is subtle changes at best. But there are changes. They are just hard to describe... Sometimes I get these little rushes of emotion or mini-euphorias. Is that the hormones? I am emotional anyways, anger included ... I've noticed very subtle changes in my chest, like are my areola getting bigger? Or is it just my imagination? Are things getting smaller downstairs? Again, or just my imagination? I feel ... different ... yes a little more feminine...   I think it has surprised me how much I actually want a female chest. I keep checking it out all the time. That is brand new! But it's like I look down, notice what appear to be some changes and I say to myself, "This is going on with my body, and I like this! A lot!" Nothing ceases to amaze me anymore. I am such a mess, lol...    I feel like this patch upgrade is going to bring about more noticeable changes. Like I am really in the game now. Like the first part was just a warm up. Maybe not. But that's what it feels like.   So far, no problems with the patch itself (aside for forgetting a couple of times to take the old patch off when I put the new on one. I went a whole day once with a double-patch). Internally I think I am so ready for the next step... Externally, I feel like I am continuing to poke a hornet's nest, a den of scorpions and a mama bear all at the same time.
    • April Marie
      100% correct!
    • Mmindy
      That's a great question @Ladypcnj. It gives time for staff to review your line of thinking or replying. You're almost free to comment at will, reaching 5 posts.   Best wishes, stay positive.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ladypcnj
      If it's okay for me to ask, but why does post and replies have to be approved? 
    • Willow
      No one that hasn’t gone through the self perceived shame and guilt about the feelings we’ve had cannot understand 1. Why we need a therapist we trust. 2.  Why we suddenly need to talk to them. 3. Why things set us off and throw us into a bout of extreme depression.  4. Why we feel threatened even when we aren’t in immediate danger.  That threat may be only in our mind but it’s our need for reassurance.      
    • Avra
      Be careful about software bundled with your antivirus! Most likely they are using it to spy on you. As far as I know the only 2 VPN providers that actually protect your data (and delete it as soon as possible if they keep anything at all) are Proton VPN and Mulvad VPN - the latter one actually had their servers stormed by law enforcement and they walked away with nothing (cause Mulvad had no customer data to offer). I would avoid antiviruses altogether tbh, they're not a magic cure for internet safety and the built in one from Microsoft does its job well enough. If you're not on WIndows you don't even need one - just be smart about what you download of course.   Your web browser asking you to turn it off is probably because the browser would prefer to know your real location, just ignore it or pick a better browser, like Firefox.
    • Lorelei
      It was stupid of me, the cop was in front of me in a u-turn cut in a spot I know about. I was running a little late because of the slow truck, and the cop happened to be there today. It is like one of only three places for a speed trap on my commute. I usually don’t speed as I try to leave enough of a time buffer in the morning. 
    • Lorelei
      The worst possible scenario is 4 points on my license, which a defensive driving course will negate it. I had considered getting a lawyer, but it is probably not worth the expense. 
    • Ivy
      Yeah, I was puzzling on that too…
    • Maddee
      Good luck maam 😊 I’ve experienced that they’ll lower the points , if you show up in court and pay the ticket. 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      This was before I came out.One documentary worth watching on it is The Invisible War,mentioning the sex crimes in the military
    • April Marie
      A multi-colored skort with a white popover and white sneakers. I need some sun on those legs, tho'!!!   
    • Mmindy
      Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums Mealaini,   Like you I knew in my preteen years that I was meant to be a girl, but didn't have any way to bring it up in the early 1960s. It was the expanding news outlets on the telly that allowed me to understand that I may not be the only person who felt this way. Wow was my mind expanded once the internet became a reasonable research tool in the 1990s.   My grown daughter (42) is nonbinary and atheist with pagan leanings. So when I came out to her she was thrilled and wanted to dress me up and show me the world. Well I think she wanted to show me to the world. My son (45) is evangelical christian and very upset with his sister for many reasons. However he's a reluctant supporter of me as transgender. I'm out to my wife and we've been married for 48 years this June, so I'm in a very late in life transition.   The other thing that has me going down an internet rabbit hole is your location. It clearly states United Kingdom with a sub flag of Illinois. I've searched the web and can't seem to locate Illinois, UK. Am I missing something?    Best wishes,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Timi
      Thank you for sharing, @Mealaini, and welcome.    I appreciate your description of IFS and your book recommendation. I have a few close friends who are very enthusiastic about IFS and my therapist is incorporating some of those elements into my therapy.    -Timi
    • Ivy
      Leg hair.  Shaving it was a surprisingly big decision.  (Not as big as the beard tho)  After I did it a few times, it's never really grown back.  Haven't shaved them in a couple of years and you'd never know it.  A daughter living with me doesn't shave hers, and she is much furrier than I ever was.     I don't exactly hate my living as a guy in the past.  TBH, I was never quite there anyway.  But I just dropped it.  I live full time fem, and it would bother me a lot to go back to being a guy.  But I don't have to appease family or an employer.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...