...and then a handsome guy smiles at me

[ShawnaLeigh]

I had this happen just yesterday and I can not believe how it made me feel.  
I had just left my therapy appointment and was just slowly driving out of the small parking lot behind his building.  A very nice looking man and who I would assume his young son where walking passed my car as I was driving out.  He was talking on his cell while walking holding the boys hand.  He stops and holds the cell to his chest and stares right at me while I’m slowing driving by.  I look right at him and he gives me a very big smile and seemed amamored with me which honestly made my day.  He was so handsome and his big smile was so attractive to me.  I smiled back but just kept driving.  
The moment over.  I’m beaming at the encounter as nothing as it was.  It made me feel happy and pretty.  
I pull out onto the street and proceed to circle around the building to the Main Street. As I’m sitting there at the light I notice him again waiting at the cross walk on the left of me.  He is staring at me again with that gorgeous smile.  I smiled back and give him a girlish finger wave and a it made me giggle as I was so overtaken by the feeling this was giving me.  He waves back still smiling, the light turned green and I drove way. Lost opportunity?  I can not say.  But who knows. 
Its all I can think about now.  
Chances are I will never see this guy again but it was a connection I have not felt in years with a stranger on the street.  It both made me giddy and so happy and at the same time a bit weirded out.  
I am so confused on how or why I feel like this as men where NEVER in my wheelhouse before.  Not even a little bit.  But he was so handsome and attractive to me which in itself is a new and weird feeling to experience over a man.  He was just a guy smiling at me.  

With me finally presenting full time Shawna I am getting a huge amount of attention from everyone and how much they are happy for me and accepting but more so from men.  Even men who have known me as Shawn.  I’m both flattered and happy about it because I love the attention but it still gives me a very slight repulsion feeling.  Though I can see that melting away as I allow myself to explore these new feelings and attractions.  
Still . Its a strange thing to wrap my head around.  

[Susan R]

51 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Chances are I will never see this guy again but it was a connection I have not felt in years with a stranger on the street.

Never say never, ShawnaLeigh! Seriously though...that is a nice experience and it won’t be the last time it happens either.  You look great so men are going to notice you...there’s no doubt about that.  It is interesting as a transgender individual to have experienced that attraction from both genders. But what’s also amazing is that our bodies can react biologically to both..at least it does with me.

 

59 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I’m both flattered and happy about it because I love the attention but it still gives me a very slight repulsion feeling.

I bet the feeling of repulsion will diminish over time.  Just a hunch ...as you become more accustomed to it.  What’s nice about being around gentlemen now is the complete lack of competitiveness which has now been replaced with chivalry, flirtation or both.  It has been a pleasant change for me this last year and like yourself...you can never get enough.?

 

Susan R?

[ShawnaLeigh]

3 hours ago, Susan R said:

I bet the feeling of repulsion will diminish over time.  Just a hunch ...as you become more accustomed to it.

I did discuss this just 5 minutes prior to this happening and I told my therapist I was going to be open to exploring these feelings.  I just didn’t think it would be in the next 5 minutes!   Lol

i am allowing myself to move past my old conditioning of being male all those years and being female opens up many doors for me in this realm.  
I’m not claiming I switched sides or even that I’m Bi now.  I don’t know for sure but I have time to figure it out as things happen.  

[TommieAnne]

Shawna that sounds like a really nice interaction.

I can understand some of your feelings since I am flattered when men pay attention to me and when they show they're really interested I get a bit turned on by the attention.

But then I also have some of the feelings of disgust with myself for feeling that way, and a sense repulsion towards the guy.

Spring is right around the corner, so I would expect many more instances like the encounter you shared.

TA

[Allison Meadows]

8 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

With me finally presenting full time Shawna I am getting a huge amount of attention from everyone and how much they are happy for me and accepting but more so from men.  Even men who have known me as Shawn.  I’m both flattered and happy about it because I love the attention but it still gives me a very slight repulsion feeling.  Though I can see that melting away as I allow myself to explore these new feelings and attractions.  
Still . Its a strange thing to wrap my head around.  

Be thrilled. Regardless of your interest in him, or other men, it's ratification that your being you is accepted and attractive. For some, it appears that our attractions and interests change with our changes, so go with the flow. Who knows what can or will happen?

[ToniTone]

I'm so glad you got to experience that! Trust me, there's plenty more of that kind of attention to come. 

 

I've known for a long time that I'm bi/pan (I know there's a difference, but I haven't really discerned what label is more fitting for me yet). But before I came out as a trans I supressed it, to protect my delicate cishet facade. 

 

But since I came out, it gave me the courage to explore my sexuality more as well. It feels so freeing to be out. I'm more attracted to fems and androgyny. But I've been fantasizing about being in a relationship with a man, someone who will treat me like a lady and "whisk me off my feet".

 

Anyway, not that I don't like flirting with or being complimented by other girls. I love that! But in this heterocis-normative society, when a guy does it it feels extra validating for some reason. 

 

~Toni

[Carolyn Marie]

What a wonderful thing to experience!  I'm really happy that you had that moment, Shawna.  I'm certain that you'll remember it forever.  Things change when we transition, far more than the physical things.  It reopens a sexual side of us that may have been suppressed our entire lives, and we're more free to explore it.  It doesn't mean you've changed in that way, but you're now open to the possibility.  Nothing wrong with that. 

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jackie C.]

See, I always get older guys. Never younger men. I love the attention though. It's not a romantic feeling really, it's just validating. I love that.

 

Much like when another woman compliments me on a wardrobe or accessory choice (got my purse and my banana clip complimented today). It just feels good and makes me feel like a proper woman because people are treating me like I'd expect.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

11 hours ago, Allison Meadows said:

Be thrilled. Regardless of your interest in him, or other men, it's ratification that your being you is accepted and attractive

Yes I admit to enjoying this very much and having it stroke my ego too.  Lol

 

10 hours ago, ToniTone said:

I've been fantasizing about being in a relationship with a man, someone who will treat me like a lady and "whisk me off my feet".

Omg yes this has been me for a while now.  I am finding the feeling I had the other day throw fuel on that fire too.  
I have been having very vivid dreams of being married to a very handsome guy who loves me so much and the weird part is I’m pregnant.  I’m so in love with him too.  When I wake I feel a tremendous loss knowing it is not my life.  I’m sad for hours after I’m up.  
Very very powerful dreams.  I’ve had a few recently. Same guy different moments of a life together.  Then I see this guy the other day and my heart shot yo the moon.  
 

9 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

Things change when we transition, far more than the physical things.  It reopens a sexual side of us that may have been suppressed our entire lives, and we're more free to explore it.  It doesn't mean you've changed in that way, but you're now open to the possibility.  Nothing wrong with that

I am finding this to be very deep and very true.  I am discovering a side of my inner self I never knew was there.  Attraction was always one way and very solid.  Now it too lives in a grey area waiting to be cultivated and nurtured.