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am i trans enough


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this is very hypocritical of me because i just replied to someone else with basically the same concern saying that they were still valid but this scares me so much

 

am i really trans?? i must be because i got so happy after socially transitioning. but none of the signs were ever there as a kid and i never had a problem with puberty and i never connected with being transgender for at least a year after i learned what it meant and it seems like i just started questioning for no reason one day? but when i decided i was a trans dude i felt a little better and when i came out as a trans dude i felt a lot better. and i want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and all that stuff. but i feel like i'm faking it because my dysphoria is not bad at all and it fluctuates a lot, and there are plenty of times recently where i've just thought huh. maybe i am just a girl. maybe i'm nonbinary? i don't know at the same time i really really want hormones and top surgery but what if when i get those i regret everything? i don't think i'll be completely certain of my gender until i get those, and at that point it's difficult to go back. if i do end up having to detransition then i don't know if i have the strength for that? i don't know i see all my trans friends who are clearly trans and super dysphoric and it feels like i'm stealing their label because i don't struggle as much as that but i still have some dysphoria i think but i could be confusing it for something else. god. no one has to read this i just had to get it out because it's hard to deal with.

 

this is probably stupid, i have this exact same identity crisis all the time and the next day i'm always like bro. you're a trans guy stop doubting yourself you just don't have the same experience as other people. oh well

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There is  process through the help of a therapist trained in our issues that will keep you from landing in Regret Land.  Some people think the process is too slow and pokey for them since they have no doubts they are Trans (or at least think so.) and they are the ones who slam right on into trouble because they missed something.  I just shared a picture from my gallery showing me with my Surgeon a few days after GCS.  On the day of the surgery I was only about 96.5%  SURE that I was ready for it, and from talking to a person in the hospital who had their surgery the day after mine, I was more sure than they had been, but both of us just shrugged and agreed there was no going back and that alone gave us a calmness.  In reality, less than 1% of people have regrets and even most of them learn to live with their lives as they are.  You make the decision you are Trans, and I will believe you and honor you as you present to me and speak to me.  I know I did the right thing for my life, but for the life of me, I am still not 100% sure what I am. 

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You don’t have to feel crippling disphoria to be trans. I’ve always hated having a female figure, but it has never been a huge issue for me. I didn’t know what transgenderism was until I was in my 20’s, and it took a while even then for me to figure out that that was what I was. But now I am sure that I am trans, and I am already undergoing HRT. I can’t speak for everyone, but I have had zero regrets since I started testosterone, and now I can’t wait to get top surgery. It’s a process, and you don’t have to rush it if you’re feeling iffy about it. But know that you are plenty trans enough.

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hey don't worry i kinda get what you mean i am happy whenever someone calls me male, sometimes I feel sure about coming out like 100% sure and then! I feel like I am nothing I am not a girl but nah Im not trans I get away from everything that tlaks about trans and then.. I feel male again, I feel sure. like WHAAAAT. but indeed i don't have a big dysphoria yk, i am not depressed no eating disorders just feel.. wrong and like a lie, that's what shows the mirror and you don't like it, you feel like lying wether you stay "normal" or transition and then you feel like you would never be male enough. But I guess it i normal. I mean I am far away from being a professional but you're not alone here it is normal

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Dont suppose you have ever looked into Body Dysmorphic disorder?

 

Theres quite a few conditions that give the symptoms you describe besides gender dysphoria..

 

Before you go down the route of im trans. rule out all the other possibilitys. Having surgery  you describe is pretty life changing. and coming back from that is a tough route. Surgerys is genearlly a one way street.

 

You really do need to talk to a proffesional.  You can try and get this validation you seek in forums such as this but in reality we are just guessing and are by no means qualified medically.

 

Sorry if i have made things more confusing by throwing other conditions into the pot. But you really do need to be absolutly sure before putting  gender dysphoria into the mix.

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