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Oh_Kay

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Hello to all,

 

I just joined. I would like to read and share about gender issues. Most of my life, I have struggled with feminine thoughts and being a male. During my teen years, I tried to repress the thoughts and developed ideas that something was wrong with me. I did not feel comfortable talking to anyone about them. During my adult life, I started reading self help books and tried counseling. As I worked on self-acceptance and healing old hurts, my feminine spirit began to emerge. Today, I feel this is me. There is nothing wrong with me, this is who I am. I like the name Kay, but it was taken already. So I went with Oh_Kay. But you can call me Kay. 

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Hello and welcome to TransPulse!   This is a wonderful place to read and learn and maybe find out about yourself as you are not alone.  Maybe even help a few too.

Glad you found us.

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  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Oh_Kay said:

I just joined. I would like to read and share about gender issues. Most of my life, I have struggled with feminine thoughts and being a male.

Welcome Kay, very nice to have join us tonight. I’m sure you find most of what you’re looking for and what you don’t find, there is likely someone here experiencing something similar to get another perspective on it. We are a friendly group of like minded individuals that share in you desire to research and learn more about ourselves regarding our gender.

 

1 hour ago, Oh_Kay said:

As I worked on self-acceptance and healing old hurts, my feminine spirit began to emerge. Today, I feel this is me.

This is a great place to be.  Many here are trying to get to where you are. I’m sure your story might help others to find themselves and begin to steps toward self-acceptance and healing too. If your open to it, please share your journey so far. I and others would like to learn more about you if you feel comfortable doing so.  Thanks for sharing some of yourself. Hope to read more!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Kay.  Thanks for telling some of your story.  Please feel free to post in any topic in any forum.  The more you participate the more you will learn.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Kay,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

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Welcome to the forum Kay!! I like the play on words in your user, great choice :)

 

Anywho, welcome welcome!

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Good Morning,

 

I am a morning person. I love to watch the sun rise. I love my coffee. I love reading inspirational quotes, I send one out every morning to close family and friends. I love to read stories about miracles, stories about those who made it despite all odds. I love the outdoors. Hiking in the mountains renews my spirit!

 

My avatar, I took my picture and ran it thru FaceApp, and did a gender switch. This app was introduced to me by a very dear friend. I told her about this site and I hope she joins us! When I look at my female picture, I feel like I am looking into my soul.

 

Some of you asked about my story, here it is.

 

I can remember wanting to be a girl as long as I can remember. When my mother was pregnant, she was wishing for a girl. I believe that is where it started. While in the womb, I took on my mother's thoughts and energy. I was always in tune with other's emotions. In my household, males were supposed to be tough, lift weights, play football and not show emotions. I tried to fit that role. In my teens, I started having dreams that I was a girl. In a way, I hated the dreams and felt something was wrong with me. In another way, I enjoyed the dreams. On the outside, I continued to try to be the tough guy. This started an internal war that greatly affected my self esteem and lasted for a very long time. 

 

Somewhere along the line, I started reading self help books. I think that it saved me from becoming an alcoholic or addict. Very slowly I started to peel back the layers of the onion. I also have been in counselling on and off for longish periods of time. I also like to meditate and I have a lot of guided meditation recordings. These are my daily self care tools.

 

As I worked on self acceptance, self compassion, self understanding, how to be kind to myself and started to nurture myself, the internal war started to end. And my female spirit started to emerge. It truly feels like a spiritual awakening!

 

Transitioning right now is not on the table. But I feel like this is so much more than crossdressing for me. I feel like I live my life through my feminine spirit every moment of every day. And it is a wonderful feeling! This is who I am, this is how I am supposed to feel!

 

Kay

 

 

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Hello and welcome Kay.

Many of us have similar stories. I'm glad you found us.

Good that you have found your female self and are letting her out. And it's not necessary to completely transition in order to find and be your true self. Just be the best you that you can be!

TA

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Welcome Kay.  Thank you for sharing your story.  Though you may not be able to transition you can still live happily which it seems you are.  Great! 

Jani

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Just Kay or anyone what are you talking about when you say Avart Facebook switch. I am confused so that picture is not your really face but a facebook face?...Sooo confused..Regardless  Tammy Ann is right. It like what guy in the Framers Insurance commercial always say. " Seem It and cover it". Yeah EVERYONE HERE has amazing story and journey. Your sound as amazing. and your attitude is overwhelmingly  fresh and  welcome. But seriously if you explain that FB thing that would be great.   

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There is an app that I loaded on my Android tablet called FaceApp. Then I took a selfie picture of myself and uploaded it to the app. Then there are all these options to modify your picture. You can add a beard or change your hair color. There is an option called gender switch, so I used it. Then I added makeup and wavy hair. This is my real face, only female. 

 

I also wanted to add to my story. I totally believe that what my mother gave me when I was in her womb is a gift. My feminine spirit is my life force. Thanks Mom! And R.I.P. Sept. 24, 1985.

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is that the app that requires you give them all the pictures you have changed for them to use as they see fit?

 

Not that im putting a downer on anything but if something is free it generally isnt.  Yes i know im old and skeptical

 

 

Welcome to the forum Oh_kay. Dont mind me im always a realist ?

 

Come and join the party ?

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Yeah FaceApp, rumors that Russian spies end up with your pictures.  You can delete all the pictures from the app when done. Do they have copies? Maybe, for some reason if they want my female picture, it doesn't bother me. Could someone bribe me? I'm discrete, but if someone wants to know, I'll tell them about my journey. I'm more worried about my social security number and bank account numbers. But yes, I understand people's concerns.

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1 hour ago, Oh_Kay said:

Yeah FaceApp, rumors that Russian spies end up with your pictures. 

 

 

I heard Mr P is a user of this forum anyway. But its a state secret ??

 

 

1 hour ago, Oh_Kay said:

 I'm more worried about my social security number and bank account numbers.

 

 

 NEVER give anyone those special numbers. But i dont need to even say that.

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thank Kay. I will tell my TG older frienda about . My mon just pass away 11/01/2019 and her last works where similar to yr moms. Ty for reminding me how special she was and how special  I am. much lv

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Welcome, Kay.  I just joined as well.  It seems that we have similar history.  It looks like you had an interesting journey as well. 

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Thank you to everyone who replied, and even those who didn't and just read my posts. I really want to post here more, but I am working long hours and come home exhausted. I eat a small dinner, walk my dog, try to fit in some self care and read a bit here. I love reading everyone's perspectives about life. Hopefully this weekend I can catch up on this wonderful site. Someone mentioned that we "do the best we can." I have been reflecting on that powerful statement and what it means to me. Many of us can't transition, so "doing our best" means we nurture our inner female to grow and thrive. I try to nurture with guided meditation recordings every day, self reflection, reading, counselling and some body pampering like shaving my legs, polishing my toenails wearing some lip gloss that doesn't stand out at work. We really need to be nice and kind to ourselves. Throughout our lives and out in society there is tons of criticism and hate because they fear we are different.  I believe that we have a higher purpose here on earth. Like to heal the earth, starting with ourselves and nurturing those around us.

 

Some of my favorite self care phrases are from my meditation recordings: Compassionate Self Acceptance, Self Kindness, Self Love

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Hi, Kay! I am new here as well. Can't wait to read more about you. Nice to meet you!

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