Hello everybody

[Sandra_Lux]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm in my late 40s. A very dear friend of mine, told me about this site. My avatar is an FaceApp experiment ? So it is me like the AI thinks I look like as a female.

My story is similar to many others, I guess. Right now, I consider myself as a TwoSpirit-like human. Always had half a male and half a female brain. I was "different" as long as I remember. Was very sensitive and dependent on the mood of others. Sometimes the female side was stronger and wanted to get her share, by crossdressing. My Twenties were filled with severe depression and social anxiety. Got help with meds and psychotherapy. Gender was not so much an issue at this time, suppressed I guess. It got back with the internet... she got a persona, had virtual relationships, nobody ever questioned, if she was female. Although I had some doubts whetber it was morally ok, I consider it not as cheating. RIght now I am at peace with being male and female, I'm actually happy to be both.

 

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Sandra,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Sandra_Lux said:

RIght now I am at peace with being male and female, I'm actually happy to be both.

Hello Sandra, Welcome to our forum. You sound confident about your identity and accept it on some level. Often times, that is the most difficult part of our journey.  Do you have any plans or changes for your future. If you feel comfortable doing so, I’m sure many here, including myself, would enjoy reading more. Join in the fun.

 

Warm Regards

Susan R?

[Oh_Kay]

Hey Girl!

 

Glad to see you made it here! ?

 

Kay

[Sandra_Lux]

Thank you all for the warm welcome! ❤️?

 

@kelly sinclair both your photos look great, male and female, if you ask me! It's funny, the male part always gets a beard added  And, yes, I think people don't question us, because we are female. As I wrote, I don't see it as hoax. 

 

@Susan R I'm very happy right now and enjoy my new confidence. I was joking lately, that I lived in my male body for almost 50 years, so I can wear it for the rest of my life, as well. I might explore female sexuality at some point, though.

[Ella Mae]

3 hours ago, Sandra_Lux said:

Hi everyone,

 

I'm in my late 40s. A very dear friend of mine, told me about this site. My avatar is an FaceApp experiment ? So it is me like the AI thinks I look like as a female.

My story is similar to many others, I guess. Right now, I consider myself as a TwoSpirit-like human. Always had half a male and half a female brain. I was "different" as long as I remember. Was very sensitive and dependent on the mood of others. Sometimes the female side was stronger and wanted to get her share, by crossdressing. My Twenties were filled with severe depression and social anxiety. Got help with meds and psychotherapy. Gender was not so much an issue at this time, suppressed I guess. It got back with the internet... she got a persona, had virtual relationships, nobody ever questioned, if she was female. Although I had some doubts whetber it was morally ok, I consider it not as cheating. RIght now I am at peace with being male and female, I'm actually happy to be both.

 

 

Hi Sandra_Lux,

 

I think those online relationships, ever so distanced, was what kept my sanity intact. As of today I have kept very few, and I’m now venturing into the real world, very slowly. This is my first step. Coming here, opening up. I can very much relate to what you are writing.

 

Ella

[TTheta]

Hey Sandra, warm welcome to you!! 

[Jackie C.]

15 hours ago, kelly sinclair said:

@Sandra_Lux people  keep say that to me i just cant see it  . Probably  true . My diaspora  is blocking i guess  

 

Yeah, we're often our own worst critics. We can still see every little thing we don't like every time we look in the mirror. Sometimes it goes away, or at least lessens, on the good dysphoria days. Then BAM, it hits you like a truck on a bad day. Savor the good days. Try to work through the bad ones. One day at a time.

 

Hugs!

[Sandra_Lux]

@Ella Mae I feel you. Wish you good luck. Are you taking your online relationships to the real world? 

 

@kelly sinclair I can only say, that for me, it's more about how I think and feel. The presentation to the outside is another chapter. Like Jackie C. wrote, one day or one step at a time.  

[Ella Mae]

1 hour ago, Sandra_Lux said:

@Ella Mae I feel you. Wish you good luck. Are you taking your online relationships to the real world? 

 

@kelly sinclair I can only say, that for me, it's more about how I think and feel. The presentation to the outside is another chapter. Like Jackie C. wrote, one day or one step at a time.  

No, thinking about closing that chapter. I can’t wait to get the courage to take that first few steps on the outside of my house. 

[TommieAnne]

Hey Sandra!

Welcome to the forums.

I think you'll find a lot of supportive people here. We've all taken our lumps getting here.

《《《 hugs 》》》

TA

[susannah]

@Sandra_Lux, welcome to the forum.  I recently join this family as well.  Your experiences seems somewhat different than mine but I am interested to learn about yours.  Thanks. 

[Maid In Bedlam]

Hello Sandra_Lux

 

Two sprit. Native North americans to describe a Third gender.

 

Its an interesting concept. A third gender, India also has one

 

Another gender. Neither male or female or hermaphrodite  Thats awesome.

 

Welcome to our little part of the internet. I most definatly look forwald to your perspective of us.

 

MIB

[Sandra_Lux]

Again, thank you all for the warm welcome.

 

No problem Suzanne1, I don't mind, to the contrary. I am not an native american. The two-spirit-concept appealed to me, because it gave me peace with my male body and my "split" male/female brain. I additionally like the thought, that this "third" gender was considered as healers (at least those who were born in a male body, afaik), I like to have/bring harmony to my environment. As I discovered this concept, I took comfort in the fact, that there were people like me hundreds of years before me, so I'm not that special and freaky, as I thought. I read that the two-spirits were either killed or being swept under the rug since world war 1 or 2, don't remember. 
I also like it, that they were not considered gay if they had sex with another male. This helped me to accept, that my female side has different needs.

[Emily michelle]

Welcome to the forum Sandra lux!