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Faye1972

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Another seasonal depression has been hard.

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Frustration, confusion, loneliness just go away.

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So much to do... No motivation.

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8 hours ago, Mmindy said:

So much to do... No motivation.

Do it! 🧑‍🎤 Liberate the head space.💆🧘🏋️

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Survival tough but hanging in there.

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Mind is in disarray too often

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When will the relief finally come?

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Days feel much too empty lately.

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Navigating rough waters seeking safe harbor.

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Life just ain't any fun anymore.

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31 minutes ago, Heather Shay said:

Life just ain't any fun anymore.

I respectfully disagree. 

 

Your life in this moment can be short on fun, but that doesn't mean you can't go find some or create it yourself.

 

I lost a dear friend of over 40 years suddenly on Boxing Day - just before what would have been his 70th birthday. He was a simple man in England who never had much in terms of material things. His beloved first wife died after a prolonged illness, and it was a long time before he could or would pursue another relationship. Thankfully, he did eventually find someone who brought him a great deal of happiness.

 

The thing I'll always remember about my friend is his unflagging good humor. He always had a good joke at the ready. And the flood of comments posted by others after his passing reveals a man who maintained an amazing number of close relationships with friends he'd had since early childhood. Again, though, it wasn't a matter of what he did or accomplished in life. He clearly saw the value in maintaining long-term close ties with not only everyone who impacted his life in some positive way but their children and even the grandchildren. Shared memories made him especially happy. 

 

That was his "fun". And he found it in the most basically human way possible - by loving and being loved. Bolstered by that strength, we can endure so much more of what life throws at us.

 

I can see the crucial turning points of my life in terms of a dance move. Finding myself with both feet blocked from moving directly forward, I always took one step to the left and simply danced onward from there. The key was never to step (or be pushed) backward.

 

(NOTE: If you saw me try to dance, you'd know how silly an analogy that really is.)

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Happiness comes within just not lately.

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Chautauqua Series officially ends at noon.

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Swirling around in my twilight zone.

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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      https://www.patheos.com/blogs/danthropology/2016/05/secularists-please-stop-quoting-the-treaty-of-tripoli/   ^^^ an interesting piece about the treaty, written by an atheist.   I totally understand why the Christian nationalist stuff makes people uncomfortable. For me, it is uncomfortable in a different way, as modern Christian nationalism is not nearly as "generic" as the views of the Founders.  Its specifically Evangelical.  I'm in a plural marriage, so definitely not approved of.    I believe the intent of the Founders was to uhold generic Christian ideas... "in God we trust" and "there's a God who created the world and He wrote ten commandments for us" sort of stuff.  Nothing beyond that, nothing specific enough to use against folks.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Free?!?!  That's insane.  I can understand perhaps mistaking somebody's well equipped garage as a business, but demanding free work is ridiculous.   My GF once remarked that while few things in life are free, butt-kickings are an exception. She offers those free-of-charge, to any who ask. A little charity helps the world go round 🤣
    • Ivy
      I had a CDL when I was working for the city.  But I let it go when I retired.  I couldn't justify paying so much just to drive myself around.
    • Ivy
      While I'm sure the "Founders" had the 30 years war, etc. on their minds, they didn't write the constitution as considering only Christian sects. The early colonists (I used the word) did mostly come from areas of "christian culture" but it's hard to reconcile some of their actions with what Christ himself taught.   Christians have a right to their beliefs, but there are a lot of American citizens that do not consider themselves "christian."  I have seen writings where the US was specifically said not to be a "Christian Nation". "The 1797 Treaty of Tripoli that sought to secure America from attacks by the so-called Barbary pirates who were Muslim made a point to say that the United States "is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.""    It shouldn't be difficult to understand why the "Christian Nationalist" movement makes some of us uncomfortable.  
    • EasyE
    • Adrianna Danielle
      She wanted it done now for free,I hate the Karen's whom are a pain in the butt
    • EasyE
      just found a cute pair of denim shorts with flowers embroidered in two places on the front ... daring myself to wear them around family today ... the flowers match the deep rose of the t-shirt I just bought... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not to justify it, but this is what happens when folks rely on accepting money from the government.  It just isn't secure!  When the times change and different winds blow, you find yourself coming up short on funds.  Don't trust the feds, don't trust the state.    I don't believe in separation of church and state.  I believe the USA is a Christian nation, but that Congress doesn't make an establishment of which kind of church that refers to.  Reading the writings left by the Founders (who were mostly Christian or Deist), I think it is pretty clear that they wanted to avoid the bloody Protestant vs. Catholic conflicts that had been going on in Europe for the previous 250 years.    I think one huge problem is that we've had a separation of culture and state already.  There's been an abandonment of traditional American culture, or at least a significant change in it.  People often act servile, not independent.  People seek government help rather than taking care of themselves and those around them.  Its like everybody is waiting for an answer, like baby birds in the nest chirping to have something delivered to them from up above.    To me, the federal government has two purposes - to keep foreign forces and influence out of our territory, and to tax foreign trade to protect domestic economy.  They've pretty much failed at both. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, yes!  Its how I met my two trans friends.  My husband helped to arrange jobs and housing for both of them.  And in the process, they also fell in love, and so far their relationship is going well.  I'm glad to have been part of helping out.
    • KathyLauren
      I am not sure what "it" you are asking about.  The surgery, or the increased urgency of peeing?   I haven't felt any increased urgency.  I can hold it for as long as I used to, I think.  One thing that is different is that, once I start, it is almost impossible to stop the flow.  My pelvic floor physio said I had really good control of my pelvic floor muscles, but it didn't help with that.   My goal for surgery was just to have a female body.  I think I was foreseeing the persecution that is rising now.  Part of my reasoning, though I didn't plan it out clearly in those terms, was that I would be able to pass a strip-search gender check.  I was thinking more about passing in locker rooms, but passing in police lineups may be more necessary if certain political elements get their way.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  That's crazy that somebody just comes onto your private place and starts demanding stuff.  You're absolutely right to press charges.  It seems like there's very little respect for private property these days. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, my husband has two different job titles at his company.  He's transportation manager, and also one of the project managers.  Its funny because he's got an office in the main building, and a smaller one in the transportation building, and he's rarely in either one.  He's got three site foremen who report to him, and also the shop supervisor and drivers' supervisor.  So he usually spends his days at installation sites, meeting clients, or handling all the paperwork that keeps the transportation side of the business compliant with FMCSA rules.    But he's definitely a truck driver by personality, and he taught me how to drive and helped me get my CDL.  Kind of a backup option for a job if I ever needed one.  I think this week is going to be one of those "all hands on deck" kind of occasions, so we'll probably take a load or two.  I'm looking forward to it.  Its really funny when I'm driving and we get into a truck stop.  I get out of the cab, and I get a lot of stares because of my size and looking like I'm a teenager.  And we get more stares when we share a shower.  
    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
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