New here

[releasethehounds]

Hi all

 

Just introducing myself.  My younger child 16 (ftm) came out as transgender in January this year.  At 13 she (as she was at the time) told me she was bisexual - no problem, and has now confirmed that is definitely the case.  I love my child unconditionally but of course there are always problems.  He now has the short haircut, wears boys' clothes and prefers to be called by his chosen name at school/college but physically he doesn't 'pass' as he is quite short, has a very feminine hourglass shape and pretty facial features.  My family are very traditional Catholic and I don't envisage a time when we can disclose this to my 82 year old mother and my two siblings.

 

My child was very happy and easy going until puberty and now suffers with anxiety and depression.  He has also been diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder and has sensory issues.  He spends a lot of time in his room where he says he feels safe but will come out occasionally to have meals with us and sometimes chat but not as much as I'd like.  My husband and my older daughter (21) has accepted my child for who he is and love him whatever.  Same for me but I am worried about the future and am not enjoying seeing the physical changes as I'm losing my beautiful daughter, although I know this should ease in time.

 

Anyway, that's us in a nutshell.  Looking forward to learning more and chatting on this site.

[Sally Stone]

Hi, and welcome.  I think it's wonderful that you have reached out to share your story, and I have no doubt you'll find a lot of information that can help make things easier for you.  Being trans, or in your case, having a trans child, are not easy things to cope with, but it is not the end of the world either.  Your new son is going through a very stressful time right now, so love and support you are providing are the two things he needs, even when it might appear that love and support isn't making much of a difference. 

 

Stay strong, this will get easier in time.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally  

 

 

[RobynNYC]

Thank you for sharing and welcome.  Love and tolerance and acceptance are contagious.  As someone still in the process of coming out, seeing parents in my circle accepting their trans kids helps me accept myself as well.  

[Oh_Kay]

I think that your immediate family loving and accepting your child is the most important thing right now! It's unfortunate that other family members hold their rigid norms. A lot of us, including me have very similar issues. Wish that I had an easy answer for you. Maybe a gender therapist can help, you may have thought about that already. Changing other people's thinking is an uphill, if not impossible task.

 

You are doing your best, give yourself a big hug for that! And love that child dearly!

 

Kay

[releasethehounds]

Thanks all for your replies and your support, it's very encouraging.  Robyn I hope that you can find the courage to come out in your own time and that you find your family accepting. I notice you're all from the USA; I'm in the UK and live in the West Midlands so I wonder if our experiences of coming out/transgender in our society are similar?  I believe people are people; I work with folk from all over the world and notice more similarities than differences.  However, I'm guessing healthcare (hormones, surgery, counselling) is different for transgender people; over here we have the NHS but some parts of it are privatised already.  I haven't yet looked into that yet as my child has only just started counselling over the phone only (due to coronavirus).

 

I'm the sort of parent who does lots of research and tries to find ways to help my child but at the moment I think I'm bombarding him with resources.  Maybe I need to chill a bit and wait for him to guide me...