Have You Tamed The Black Dog??

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora

The idea for this post came from reading Lizzie’s post on depression[Thanks Lizzy]…It got me thinking….

It’s mainly for those of you who have already transitioned but I guess it would also be interesting to hear from those pre-transitioners who DON’T seem to get depressed –

So if you have already transitioned do you still get depressed and is your depression any less worse than before you transitioned ?

And for those happy-go -lucky trans-people who never seem to get depressed, what is it do you think that keeps a smile on your face?

I had fought with and then managed to befriend/tame the ‘black dog’, now he doesn’t bother me any more… “Nice doggy… sit! roll over-good dog!”

How about you - does the black dog still follow you around snapping at your heels???

Metta Jendar

[Guest angie]

Actually,

Yes it does,I fight a continuing battle against that Black Cloud of depression.

I have learned good coping skills,journaling,meditaton,cycling.Anything to not

let that Cloud rule my life.But deciding that antidepressants weren't for me,it

means having to be aware of it coming and heading it off at the pass before it

becomes over whelming.Hopefully,when SRS is finally past,and I have no more

fears of being found out,my family knows there is no going back,and my mind

is finally calmed,I will be able to say fare thee well to my old nemisis.Hopefully.

Angie

[Guest Kymmie Lorain]

For me I have yet to defeat the black cloud. even with medication it still hasn't helped but I have been coping.

Kymmie

[Guest DMan]

I've been trying to out run the dog most of my life. Every once and awhile it comes back to nip my tail. This last time, it caught me was in April, and it had been 20 years since it's last bite. Seems like when things happen in my life that bring back some aspect of me not being quite "normal" it gives the dog a power boast. This last time, it had to do with my wife of 10 years deciding that she couldn't live the rest of her life without a man who was "fully functional" and I don't mean in the sense of bringing home the bacon. Those kind of things seem to feed the dog into growing into Cerberus (the 3 headed dog who guards the gates to hell). What I have learned is to get help when I feel the nip (although this time, I think it was more of an actual bite before I had the sense to do anything). I don't think I will ever be truly free of the potential jaws, but I do know that the sooner I get in to see somebody and start talking about it, the damage is lessened. Maybe we can find an obedience school.

[Guest 1Char]

This dog bites at my throat. Always has. Idk if it will stop

[Guest AllisonD]

Ouch. Just the question. The reminder.

I see in the MTF splash for Laura's playground the high suicide statistics. I didn't know how high it was, but I understand it. I really understand it. I was almost one of them. Maybe several times. I don't think I am in any danger now, unless Donna (my partner of 22 years) dies. I am sure I would find that as difficult as any trial I have already faced.

Your question mentions transition, and that relates to SRS for me. I understand how transitioning and SRS changed my vulnerability to depression and I have to agree that transitioning was the real key to dealing with mine. I transitioned years before I got around to SRS. Transitioning itself cured most of my vulnerability to depression, but it was still there and still took me to the depths for some months at a time. I didn't realize just how important it was to my core being to get rid of the dangle (the boys were long since gone - that was easily arranged) until after I had done it. I only got around to it so I could get a passport. All my other credentials already had the coveted and dreamed of magical F, but that passport.... I had to get the certification from Stanley Biber to get my passport fixed, and I needed that passport for my career. So I did it.

It was like that final grime from a partially cleaned window was finally washed away. My glass was now perfectly clear. I had no idea just how liberating SRS would be. I had always dreamed of it, but transitioning bought me so much I simply didn't realize how significant the last bit would be. To be fair, I was also ignorant of the realistic possibility (I transitioned in the early '70s) until it became critical to my career; else I may have pursued it with much more vigor much earlier on.

But I still wasn't completely free from the black dog. That took Donna. Perhaps another butch would have done (I'm a femme), but since Donna has taken me into her life and we became partners I can whip the black dog within a day, every time. Even when she's on travel, a phone call from her will do it.

So yes, transition helped me defeat the black dog and was certainly the biggest of the big three black dog cures I have.

What a good question!

Allison