Hi

[Just Lee]

I'm scared to write this and scared to be here. I don't fit in anywhere except where I don't want to be. After decades of denial, I'm here, among what I hope are others like me who understand. I'm not young but not old; I'm middle-aged. You can call me Lee if you want to. I keep staring at the blinking cursor insisting I type something, to reach out and try. Retreat is my usual response but it doesn't answer all the mounting questions I have about myself. How can I be 49 years old and still not know me? *dips one careful toe in the water*

[Jackie C.]

Salutations Lee! Pleased to meet you and welcome to TransPulse! You're far from the oldest person here, I think you'll find you're in good company. We certainly don't bite. Mostly.

 

Hugs!

[Just Lee]

Thank you for your kind welcome. I'm looking at your ava and it's nice to see a smiling face. 

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Lee.  Welcome!

 

I was 60 when I first started to catch on to who I really was.  I am 65 now.  It has been a wild ride, but it has also been the best 5 years of my life so far.

 

You are in good company here.  By all means tell us about yourself if you feel so inclined, ask questions, whatever you need.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Lee.  Fear and uncertainty go hand in hand with those starting out on this journey.  Don't worry if you don't have all the answers yet.  That's what we're here to help you with.  Please have a look around and ask any questions.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Just Lee]

Thank you so much for these kind welcomes! You have no idea how much it means to me. I'm hopeful that I can finally find me after so many decades of doubt and self-loathing. 

[Mx.Drago]

Hello and Welcome!

2 hours ago, Just Lee said:

I'm scared to write this and scared to be here. I don't fit in anywhere except where I don't want to be. After decades of denial, I'm here, among what I hope are others like me who understand. I'm not young but not old; I'm middle-aged. You can call me Lee if you want to. I keep staring at the blinking cursor insisting I type something, to reach out and try. Retreat is my usual response but it doesn't answer all the mounting questions I have about myself. How can I be 49 years old and still not know me? *dips one careful toe in the water*

You aren't alone in the feeling. Every step forward, no matter how big or small is still a step towards progress. I think everybody has trouble seeing and knowing themselves, reason why it's important to have and make new friends. There are lots of friendly folks here, and I'm happy you decided to join us. Thank you for your post. ?

[Susan R]

3 hours ago, Just Lee said:

I don't fit in anywhere except where I don't want to be.

Hi Lee and welcome!  Its good that you’ve reached out. It’s so difficult going through life when you feel no one understands you and what you’re feeling. I’m hoping that this place will soon become a place where you want to be and look forward to being a part of our community. We don’t judge or try to tell you that you need to be ‘this or that’. We just want you to be yourself. Please feel free to share more because you and your experiences matter here.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Mmindy]

Hey there Lee, 

 

Welcome to a place where you can be who you want to be. Most of us are on the same ride just in a different car. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe.

 

Mmindy ???

[SaraAW]

Welcome Lee! I remember how long I agonized before I hit that submit button for the first time. It takes a lot of courage to want to find yourself and reach out for help. I’ll think you’ll find this place a wonderful and supportive community. Have a great day!

[TTheta]

Heyo Lee!! Welcome to the forum, I understand the anxiety you felt when joining, I was afraid I was by myself but found myself surrounded by lovely people here!! Everyone is different, but time doesn't make you any less valid my friend :)) 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Lee,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

I was scared at first, but I found a very welcoming, friendly place here and didn't have to be afraid at all.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[Erikka]

Welcome Just Lee

There is no “right” time to come out. I started socially transitioning at 67 and hormones at 68. Do I wish I had done it sooner? Of course. But life so often gets in the way. Work, family, health and society can bear down and convince us that we are wrong, that we are troubled. But we do know better. We are troubled not because we want to be who we are, but troubled because we keep getting buried in self denial and external pressure to be the person others demands us to be.

Hang in there, it gets better.

[kelly_s]

welcome sister!

[Billy]

Hi Lee, you are not alone! 

I am 42 (afab) and am struggling to find my gender identity whilst taking care of 2 kids. -crappy- moment, but life has its ways I guess... 

I am sure with being here you have taken the first step already to get closer to your true self. Be kind to yourself ?

Billy