Help, my parents want to go to the beach!!

[Guest]

Well, everything is in the title, my parents said that they should start to plan to go to the beach. Let me clear everything, I love water, but the swimsuit.. eh

I know I could by a combi or something but my parent will think it is weird, also they won't want to buy it, and me I am poor lol. I just planned on staying in the water with only my head sticking out of the water but, yeah IDK, I could stay outside of the water with a shirt but, my parents will definitely think it is weird as I LOVE water!

I could come out (even thou I said I'll do it like at least 1 month ago) but hehe I am really not ready, but I promise I think about it, EVERYDAY, and actually I'd like to rest hehe

Please! any advices!!??

[A. Dillon]

You could just say that you find it uncomfortable. Be honest about your feelings, sometimes you don't have to describe why but just what. In a less convoluted way, tell them that you don't want to wear it. Ask for board shorts, wear a t-shirt, ask for a binder, you don't have to come out right now if you aren't ready just tell them how you feel. 

[A. Dillon]

From experience, knowing that you are a guy but everyone not seeing it is the absolute worst in public. Do what is best for you, try your best to not be scared of what they might say. Good luck!

[Mx.Drago]

Was in mid writing but A. Dillon beat me.

So what if your parents think it's weird.

Just insists it's more comfortable and to hell with tradition, pandemic was more than enough discomfort and you would just like to enjoy a good swim without having to be losing any cover wear. Plus it's way more sand proof. Hate sand up the but feeling.

[Guest]

yeah, I, IDK but thanx, it's just , kinda scaring me haha, it's just that if I do that they'll ask numerous questions because of ALL the tips I have been giving plus this, and I'll probably have to come out, and I am definetly not ready for that, sr I am probably shting mself for nothing and I am maybe overthinking it but you know, it's not a funny feeling.. I'll think bout it I guess..

[Erikka]

On the flip side, being a trans woman, swimsuits suck, especially if you haven't had bottom surgery. I think the pool, the beach, the lake or the river is a mine field for trans persons. Board shorts, a binder and a T-shirt sounds like good advice. I am agonizing over an invitation to go to the river next weekend. Not  with family, but with friends. Some close and some only acquaintances.

Be strong, be safe

Erikka 

[Guest]

thanx, but, yeah

[Mx.Drago]

?Wish could I could help make it easier. Can't go to the beach like I use to...But hope you have fun all the same. Favorite part was going for the best shells to paint on like canvases.

[Emily michelle]

I’m in a similar situation as you my in-laws asked my wife and I to go to Florida with them and I’m not out to them. There is no way I could even remotely pull off a swim suit even though I wish I could. It doesn’t help that I’m not out to them either. Sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom.

[Mx.Drago]

33 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

I’m in a similar situation as you my in-laws asked my wife and I to go to Florida with them and I’m not out to them. There is no way I could even remotely pull off a swim suit even though I wish I could. It doesn’t help that I’m not out to them either. Sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom.

?I think a bright red color swim suit would look great on you or any light red tone color. But can totally understand not wanting to see the in-laws. But I hope you enjoy the beach when you go.

[Emily michelle]

39 minutes ago, Mx.Drago said:

?I think a bright red color swim suit would look great on you or any light red tone color. But can totally understand not wanting to see the in-laws. But I hope you enjoy the beach when you go.

Thank you Mx Drago I will have to look around. I told my wife that if we go I want to be out to them it’s still in the planning stages I have to come up with more guts to tell them.

[Mx.Drago]

30 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

Thank you Mx Drago I will have to look around. I told my wife that if we go I want to be out to them it’s still in the planning stages I have to come up with more guts to tell them.

?I'm no stellar example of courage myself, I avoid the danger zones, cuz my plate full already. Plus I prefer my beach ventures alone. My partner can't even look at open water. ?

[Emily michelle]

35 minutes ago, Mx.Drago said:

?I'm no stellar example of courage myself, I avoid the danger zones, cuz my plate full already. Plus I prefer my beach ventures alone. My partner can't even look at open water. ?

It’s ok not to have courage right now eventually the time will come when you are ready. I avoid danger zones myself but I’m slowly creeping out. Mostly I don’t like presenting as my old self. Emily wants to come out and see the world.

[Mx.Drago]

49 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

 Mostly I don’t like presenting as my old self. Emily wants to come out and see the world.

Understandable, I've been done with pandemic since it started, want to see the world, short roll in the grass.  But I don't like the idea of unfriendly folk messing with the day. There's a bit of an over flow of unfriendliness in the world now. I hope you don't have to pretend to be your old self again, and get the confidence to be present in all comfort whereever you go.

[Emily michelle]

I have been done with the pandemic also. It was old the first day lol. The world has become a very unfriendly place at th current moment hopefully it gets better. Outside of work I present female about 75% of the time. I have actually been venturing out without a wig mostly because the temps have been in the 90s and humid so the wig gets hot. Are you full time Mx Drago?

[Mx.Drago]

No, ?I wish but small steps. I dress mostly in men's clothing but I still look very feminine and being short doesn't help. But I'm still a bit hesitant to get my info changed yet. Still feels like a trap a bit. Plus of the problems it could cause for medical care, I still would like to have at least one kid, before I break for big changes.  Been working on my speech and getting my walking practice for the time being. I be the ultimate stealth mode as the typical Tom boy.

[Emily michelle]

I know what you mean. I went ahead and froze my sperm before I started hrt. I have gotten rid of most of my male clothing. When I’m around people that don’t know yet I dress pretty androgynous. I present completely male at work just because my line of work is definitely not accepting of people that aren’t like them. Speech has been an issue for me too but I don’t really know what to do that.

[Mx.Drago]

1 hour ago, Emily michelle said:

I know what you mean. I went ahead and froze my sperm before I started hrt. I have gotten rid of most of my male clothing. When I’m around people that don’t know yet I dress pretty androgynous. I present completely male at work just because my line of work is definitely not accepting of people that aren’t like them. Speech has been an issue for me too but I don’t really know what to do that.

I find for most women speech patterns, is all in the throat and nose. You talk like your sucking your cheeks in and you want to limit the width of your mouth opening making as small movements as possible. Mainly talking with more your lips moving, less full jaw movements like when men speak.

I also feel a need to apologize to Ethan da potato for completely hijacking the conversation, feel like a jerk.?

[Guest]

XD, Idc it's making me think bout something else

[Emily michelle]

I apologize too Ethan I didn’t mean to hyjack your thread either.

 

Thank you for the advice on the speech Mx. Drago. I will have to practice that I really appreciate it. For some reason I find it easier to use a more feminine voice talking on the phone than it is in person. 

[Mx.Drago]

?Thanks Ethan glad it helps.

1 hour ago, Emily michelle said:

I apologize too Ethan I didn’t mean to hyjack your thread either.

 

Thank you for the advice on the speech Mx. Drago. I will have to practice that I really appreciate it. For some reason I find it easier to use a more feminine voice talking on the phone than it is in person. 

Np.

Probably is just you being nervous. On the phone it's easier to relax and be softer in tone, than when meeting people. At least I find, I do it unintentionally a lot. People have told me I sound different between phone and in person. ?

[Emily michelle]

Good I’m not alone. It doesn’t help at work I always have to talk loud and I can’t act very feminine there. If they caught wind of what is going on they would chew me up and spit me back out, but that’s another story lol.

[Mx.Drago]

?Hear it to often bout my volume, when I talk men can just mega phone it , I sometimes enjoy the mega phone challenge, and it's hard to control cuz it takes practice to control them muscles ?. With no script, and in NYC be every volume at once. One of my most favorite guilty pleasure characters from The Venture Bros. is, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, she won every heart I gave to that show. Her husband grew on me, eventually, but he be real gross, in my opinion. I love just swimming trunks and just wearing a t-shirt or turtle neck tank top. It's easier to replace and I can always just wash it. I wince at the thought of ever wearing a bikini again. But it didn't matter what I wanted, so long as it looked good enough to pass other satisfactory charts. They always made me feel uncomfortable, but if it's what you rock, my blessings. Now if I can get away without wearing anything at all then, ok not at the moment, I'm bold under high circumstances, but not right now. Still get that winch feeling specifically at the bottom. Have work before I can be that bold but working out helps focus things?.  Got to look good for at least the beach.