What am I?

[The Oldest Problem Child]

I have been identifying as gender fluid, but I notice my mood is better when I'm female, and on days I think I'm male I still feel like I should do something feminine. But here's the thing I don't think I have dysphoria and so I don't think I should really talk about it publicly. What I think might be dysphoria is just my chest being uncomfortable, like somethings supposed to be there. and I really don't like my body hair, but I don't know if I'm making it up or if that's whats dysphoria. I also don't like my bits dangling about and find it more comfortable when tucked. I'm really just wondering if I really feel like I am a women or if I'm making it up. Maybe I'm just confused.

[Mx.Drago]

Well, here's the thing, if you say your male qualities bother you to a point where you feel the need to fix, tuck and catch yourself more often looking for the puppies being added. Sounds like you could be suffering from dysphoria. And why would you be making it up? There's nothing wrong with liking feminine things. It's a matter of how far you want to change yourself so you don't spend your time needlessly tucking yourself away cuz it bothers you. Talk to a lgbtq+ therapists specialist. You sound more worried, than confused. You know what you want, but you're afraid of what it will mean you'll have to prepare for. 

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

I also don't like my bits dangling about and find it more comfortable when tucked. I'm really just wondering if I really feel like I am a women or if I'm making it up. Maybe I'm just confused.

@The Oldest Problem Child I don’t think you’re making it up. It’s obviously on your mind enough to reach out here. The mentioning that you don’t like your “bits dangling about“ is a red flag for at minimum body dysphoria if not gender dysphoria. Some of the other things you mention regarding body hair and wanting to do something feminine is slightly more vague but may be an indicator of GD too. 

 

1 hour ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

What I think might be dysphoria is just my chest being uncomfortable, like somethings supposed to be there.

This statement though is about something that is not present on males unless they suffer from Gynecomastia. You are possibly feeling a need to have breasts where there are none. That sounds like GD to me. I’m certainly no expert but I would suggest talking to a professional. Good therapists can help you narrow down your thoughts and help you find out if you’re in denial, going through a phase, just curious, or some other reason for these thoughts entirely.

 

1 hour ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

But here's the thing I don't think I have dysphoria and so I don't think I should really talk about it publicly.

This may be public but you are completely anonymous and security here is very good. I don’t know of any incidents yet that a person has been purposefully outed. Reaching out in a support forum like this one is to me a good way to gather the facts and advice to help you decide whether or not to take that next step.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[Tori M]

1 hour ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

I also don't like my bits dangling about and find it more comfortable when tucked.

 

That was one of my first clues.  Started around age 10.  I also dreaded getting facial hair and thought my legs and arms were far too hairy despite being less hairy than other guys.  I never had chest hair and have always been so happy about that.

 

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

But here's the thing I don't think I have dysphoria and so I don't think I should really talk about it publicly.

 

If your body and your mind are  not together as to your gender and your comfort, you have GD to some degree.  You say it is a burden to have your body the way it is with its gender characteristics, and that is GD by its definition, a terrible burden that you are carrying.  Now we can move on the important question which is what you need to do to lighten that burden.  I know what I had to do and it was painful and expensive, but others can put on simple cheap clothing with a smile on their faces and that is their limit, but they are still part of our group here.

[ToniTone]

For me, everything you said is ✅✅✅ components of my dysphoria. The dangly bits? I dreaeded them since they started dangling. Body hair? The worst. I wish it would go away and never come back. Your post just reassured me that I am quite unequivocally transgender. 

 

I'm sure there are guys who would agree these things are inconveniences. But if you ever felt more than inconvenienced by them. Like you would do something above and beyond if you knew you could change it, you probably are dysphoric. And there are things you can do to change some of those things. Never say never.

 

~Toni

[KayC]

10 hours ago, The Oldest Problem Child said:

Maybe I'm just confused.

You describe many of my own feelings.  I think I already told you I love to shave my legs, hate my body hair, and .. yes, I would really like to have my own boobs.
So, on my own (and after a lot of internet research) I have come to the conclusion I am GD.  But, I don't think I can get much farther than that on my own without therapy.  So that is my next step.
I hope maybe you have the opportunity to do the same.  That is the one consistend offer of advice I have received on this page.
Nice to hear from you again too❣️

[The Oldest Problem Child]

I want to thank you all for your love and support. Your all very helpful and I enjoy hearing from you.