Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Married but am I Bi?


Recommended Posts

I’m 30 yrs married and recently permanently out with my spouses support so far. I have always been infatuated with women and always will be. My intention is to fully transition. But I have Bi thoughts and question my future relationship with my spouse as my wife questions it as well. 
When I go the HRT path, are these Bi tendencies go to be consuming enough to cross me over to make the male form more attractive to some extent. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Let me ask you a question. Do you love your spouse?

 

You already like women, but you're not rushing out to find other women are you? Why do you expect that to change because you're curious about men?

 

You might appreciate a good looking man more, but you're with your wife. Hormones aren't going to change that unless YOU decide to change that.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
27 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Let me ask you a question. Do you love your spouse?

 

You already like women, but you're not rushing out to find other women are you? Why do you expect that to change because you're curious about men?

 

You might appreciate a good looking man more, but you're with your wife. Hormones aren't going to change that unless YOU decide to change that.

 

Hugs!

Perfectly stated...It comes down to faithfulness. My wife has to trust me as I trust her.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Forums.  First item is that Gender and Sex are two different pastures on the farm.  Transgender people are all over the Gender and Sexuality pastures though, and while HRT will affect some functions of your genitalia in a variety of ways (we are each different) it does not by and large change sexual orientation.  I have Bi friends who are now a bit more Pan (with other Trans people) but are still basically Bi.  How you act on your sexuality though is still another place.  HRT will not make you a raging nymphomaniac.  If you and your spouse have a good relationship that both want to continue HRT will do little other than the erotic stimulation changes to alter a loving committed relationship. I have a whole roomful of married couples where one is trans, and while there may be more of a propensity to hug others, relationships are honored by all, and they are considered sacred by our community. 

Link to comment

Hi Jody!  Welcome and nice to meet you!

I had similar questions about my own sexuality and gender identity.  I am not on HRT yet, so have not transitioned in any way other than how I think of myself.
I really don't see my preference for women changing, and that's good, because I am married to one. hah!  So what everybody says above holds true I believe.
I believe therapy will be beneficial for me to clarify my feelings in both areas, so it might be something for you to consider also, if you haven't already started.

Lots of great information and support here, so welcome again❣️

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 93 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Maddee
    • christinakristy2021
    • Ashley0616
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,058
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Aleksandria
    Newest Member
    Aleksandria
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mealaini
      Thank you for fixing my country of origin MaryEllen!     :) Mealaini
    • Mealaini
      Thank you KayC!  I am just trying to keep breathing. I don't have a huge amount of time in my life for self exploration.  My job and responsibilities have me second guessing all my inner work.  I do have time off in the summer - coming up soon as I am a teacher.  Only a few workshops.  Looking forward ward to some introspection.     :) Mealaini
    • Betty K
      Yes, essentially. As Julia Serano says, they view trans outcomes as intrinsically worse than cis outcomes. 
    • Jani
      I used to but now its just lip gloss every now and then, in a subdued tone.
    • Ivy
      Yeah, a lot of times I don't really have anything to add to the conversation. There are some threads I seldom post on.
    • Ivy
      I have seen some things about this.  As I remember it was not very trans-friendly. The people doing these things seem to minimize the positive aspects of transition, and maximize the potential problems. Basically, make it as difficult as possible (without outright banning it) to discourage anyone from doing it.
    • Willow
      Good morning    woke up to some light rain this morning.  Maybe I should run out with a giant umbrella to cover the car.   Ha ha ha.     I’ve had really nice cars before but never something like this.     @KymmieL I hope you got to go on your ride. Back when I had my Harley we went out for a ride almost every weekend. We would head either SW down the Shenandoah Valley or Skyline Drive which danced along the tops of the Mountains or we would head west into West Virginia and just travel along until it was time to find our way home.   occasionally I wish I still had a bike but I usually quickly for get that. The only thing I ever wanted as a young person that I never had was a late 50s vette.      
    • April Marie
      I admit to wearing make-up. Actually, I'll admit to enjoying wearing make-up. For me, it's been part of learning about myself as a woman and finding a style and look that reflects my personality.    Sometimes, it will just be a bit of mascara and a touch of lipstick. But, most often I wear foundation with setting powder, gel eyeliner, mascara, a little blush on my cheek line and lipstick. I also use an eyebrow pencil to darken my brows a bit.  Infrequently, I will add some eye shadow.   Most of my make-up is from Mary Kay although my lipsticks or from various manufacturers and eyeliners are mostly Maybelline. My wife purchases most of her make-up from Mary Kay and so we order together from our local representative. Of course, I don't have much brand experience but I'm happy with the Mary Kay products and find myself transitioning almost entirely to their line of make-up.
    • KathyLauren
      I did early on, out of necessity.  Regardless of how close you shave, beard shadow shows through.  I just used a bit of foundation, setting powder and blush.    I didn't use much eye makeup.  I started out with a bit of eye liner, but I thought it gave me a "trying too hard" look.  So I mostly didn't use any.   With covid and masking, I stopped using makeup altogether.  Why bother when no one can see your face and the mask smears the makeup anyway?   When restrictions were lifted, I didn't go back to wearing makeup.  My face feminized quite nicely over the first few years of HRT.  I'll never be pretty, but I look more female than male.  (Or I like to tell myself that anyway.)  With several years of electrolysis, and with what facial hair remains turning white, I don't have much beard shadow, so there is nothing to cover up.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Do you use make-up? If so, why and what  types?
    • Heather Shay
      Pride is primarily about yourself, even when it is not you who did something that you are proud about. You can also be proud of something someone else did, who you associate with, such as your children or your favorite football team. People can feel proud of their culture, their family name, or their appearance, none of which require them to actively contribute to the praiseworthy thing1. However, the opinions of others are of crucial importance, as best demonstrated when you purposefully do something that other people praise. Pride is a social emotion, and to feel proud, you need other people’s (real or imagined) confirmation that you have a reason to feel that way. Because of this, other people can also ‘be in your head’ and prevent you from feeling pride. Namely, what is praiseworthy is subjective. Things that may be considered good in a certain (cultural) group may not be praiseworthy in another (e.g., if you grew up in a family that greatly values academics, your athletic abilities may not evoke much praise). Moreover, what is praiseworthy is relative (e.g., if you are a good runner in an athletically average school, you may regularly feel proud about your times; but if you move to a school with highly competent athletes, these same times may seem unremarkable to you). Thus, the more exclusive your quality is in your surroundings, the prouder you feel. Pride has recognizable features. Although its static facial expression (typically a smile or laugh) does not clearly distinguish it from other positive emotions, it typically results in a bodily posture, gestures, and behavior that are clearly recognizable: lifting your chin, looking people in the eye, walking confidently, or in extreme cases, raising arms above your head. In a way, you try to make yourself larger and more noticeable, as if to say: ‘look at me!’ You may also exhibit more perseverance in your activities2. People generally find it very pleasant to experience pride, as it elevates our feeling of social self-worth and status3. At the same time, many social groups, religions, and cultures (especially those that are highly collectivistic, such as the East Asian or African culture) believe that pride needs to be checked. Unchecked pride leads to arrogance and misplaced feelings of superiority (‘letting something get to your head’, ‘hubris comes before the fall’), and social groups typically do not tolerate members feeling like they are superior or deserve special treatment.  
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...