Transition Delays

[Mia Marie]

I feel like no matter what I want in life I have to wait and wait until someone sees it as time for the whatever to come to pass and happen. Each time this happens to me I get to a point where what I want stays a dream and never sees the light of day. And now I see it with trying to get to the next step in becoming the woman I know is inside me. I now and feel I am ready for the step for HRT and I feel I am being told to wait by my therapist. We talked about it and she told me to look into clinics to see if I could find something close by and I found something. When I informed her about wanting to call and set up an appointment she said she wanted us to talk about this during my session and said I could call for an appointment but I know I can't without a referal letter from her. So now I will have to wait longer. I feel like I have been waiting for 30yrs to finally have the chance to like myself for me and to accomplish something for once in my life that really means something. Is it wrong to want something more than to just exist as you are or is it better to want to excel to something greater than who you are and to be able to bring out the part of yourself that you see as the better part of you? 

[Jackie C.]

Not necessarily. I was allowed a grace period to get my paperwork together when I discovered that, no, your prior paperwork doesn't count, you need new paperwork. They held my appointment pending me getting my letters together. One therapist got her letter out the same day... I really ought to send her a "thank you"... the second took about three days. Both sent me a copy of their letters so I could point out any problems before they sent them to the relevant doctor. I didn't need to as they'd both listened to me and gotten all the details right.

 

Anyway, yeah, it's absolutely right to want to be your best self. I kind of thought that was the whole point of therapy. 

 

Hugs!

[Mia Marie]

I'm just having to wait on the one for HRT. All my psychologist keeps saying is lets talk about this on the next session. I'm 50 and I wish there had been a way to start this back in my 20s but back then there really wasn't an internet to get info on this and no one to talk to who had any info at all. I mean it's not like I have 10 to 20yrs to get this right and I don't want this to stay a dream.

[Jackie C.]

No, I completely understand. I'm... tragically... 50 as well and part of my goal was GRS by my 50th birthday. I'm surprised that your therapist is dragging her feet though. I got my paperwork through for HRT after a one-hour session with a gender therapist at UofM and after some harassment from my regular therapist we got started. At the time she was also working as a social worker and has plenty of experience in prodding medical professionals until they do their jobs.

I see the need for the delay between letter of recommendation and HRT a little more clearly now. My health wasn't the greatest. It's leaps and bounds better now, but only because I worked my butt off to improve it.

 

Assuming you have contact with your therapist during the week, you could straight-up ask her what the hold-up is. It could just mean that she wants to do a dedicated session before she writes your letter. It could also mean she needs to refer you to someone else. I don't know the requirements in Texas, but here the therapist has to specialize in gender issues. I presume there's a certificate involved. I know that the gender therapist at UofM and my regular therapist are both LMSW's. It might also be a doctor thing. For GCS, one of my therapists had to have a PhD and be outside the UofM heath care system. Again, I don't know what the rules are in Texas, but it could be a reporting requirement.

 

Hang in there. The whole pandemic thing is slowing everything down. I expected to have my paperwork done by now (I still need to change gender markers) but with the government offices shut down... Bother, I should have had my gynecologist do the super-special gender marker form (I can say that. It's unique to Michigan) to confirm that I've had GCS. I need that so I can change my birth certificate and social security information. After the office reopens of course.

 

Hugs!

[Mia Marie]

Well my therapist is PhD and our sessions have been online due to the covid thing. The AOC that is part of fortworth-transgender.org are setting appointments for the labs and they also have a counselor for screening if you haven't been seeing a therapist. I don't want to use a different therapist just to get HRT started. It wouldn't seem right.

[Jackie C.]

OK, so back to straight-up asking her what's up with the delay. I think NOT KNOWING is messing with you more than the wait itself. Being in limbo is stressful. I know I can deal with, "It'll be thirty days then you get the prize," a lot easier than, "I'll hand it over when I think you're ready." You and your therapist need to be on the same page.

 

Hugs!

[Mia Marie]

I am finally getting my letter so I can start my HRT!!! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Makes me want to put on a dress and run down the street.

[Scotia Drake]

I'm in a similar situation. I went to an "informed consent" doctor who works at a local county health department. Three years later I still can't get HRT. Each time I see her it's some new stipulation. See my therapist friend. See her again. Quit smoking. Get your blood pressure down. Get more blood work. Sorry, your cholesterol is 2 points higher than average. Go pay another $165 for blood work. Stop taking vitamins then get blood work done again. Join a support group first. Come out at work first. Ugh. Really? I hope and pray that this isn't everyone's HRT experience.  Now that I'm doing more research, I've heard of informed consent doctors who write a script on the first visit. My friend, I think you and I are being hoodwinked. Time to seek different providers.

[Mia Marie]

My problem is a little bit different. I am trying to see a doctor for the first time to get started and because of the pandemic bull. It seems many of the offices have stopped taking on new patients for now's . It's not a preventing doctor. It's more as bad timing. Doesn't make it fare but what can I do about it? I still have others to look into.

[Jackie C.]

5 hours ago, Scotia Drake said:

I'm in a similar situation. I went to an "informed consent" doctor who works at a local county health department. Three years later I still can't get HRT. Each time I see her it's some new stipulation. See my therapist friend. See her again. Quit smoking. Get your blood pressure down. Get more blood work. Sorry, your cholesterol is 2 points higher than average. Go pay another $165 for blood work. Stop taking vitamins then get blood work done again. Join a support group first. Come out at work first. Ugh. Really? I hope and pray that this isn't everyone's HRT experience.  Now that I'm doing more research, I've heard of informed consent doctors who write a script on the first visit. My friend, I think you and I are being hoodwinked. Time to seek different providers.

 

Seriously? I don't know where you are in the state, but I went through UofM. I was not in great health. They got me taken care of. I needed to talk to one of the doctors at the gender clinic to get my letter of recommendation but my ACA Blue Cross HMO plan covered it.

 

I was not in great health. My cholesterol was, at one point, 300. My blood pressure was through the roof, I was about four months into my weight-loss regimen at the time. It took a couple more weeks than I thought it should, but nothing like what you're dealing with. I'm much healthier now, but oh boy, when I was just getting started I was a hot mess. Unless you have some really, really serious health problems your doctor should be able to find a plan that works for you. That was my assurance from my endo anyway.

 

Hugs!

[Jani]

@Scotia Drake Hello dear.  As Jackie noted, Seriously!!  You've been taken for a ride by this doctor and their therapist friend.  Please don't despair as not all doctors are like that.  I think @Jackie C. has given you a good lead.  Get going!  

Jani 

[jae bear]

@Scotia Drake    I second Jani’s opinion, I had to do some fighting to prove medical things before HRT myself but nothing so Mandane as cholesterol and coming out at work, maybe a new provider would be a simple solution...
good luck,

Jackie-