What is Transition?

[Sally Stone]

“How long ago did you transition?” The question clearly caught me by surprise.  I was having coffee at a local coffee shop when another trans woman sat down at the table next to mine.  Naturally, we struck up a conversation, nothing personal, just small-talk, but then out of the blue she asked me: “How long ago did you transition?”

 

My knee-jerk response was: “I haven’t transitioned.”

 

“Oh,” she said.  “You look so good, I just assumed you had transitioned.”

 

I thanked her for her compliment, but then explained that I was part-time.  And then we chatted a little more before I had to be on my way.  In the car, driving away, it suddenly hit me that my response to her question about how long ago had I transitioned wasn’t accurate.  In fact, I had transitioned, and it was years ago. 

 

A lot of the time we assume that transition occurs based upon a specific event like GRS or a legal change of gender.  But that isn’t necessarily true.  For many of us, transition can occur in a more subtle way.  In my case, transition actually occurred when I accepted and embraced my part-time nature.  That was the point in time when I truly felt liberated and began expressing my feminine persona in a fulfilling way.  No, I didn’t actually transition from one gender binary to the other, but that kind of transition would only be reserved for certain people.  Being gender fluid, I’m a little different, so my transition was obviously different.  Just because it was different, though, didn’t mean transition didn’t take place, or that it was any less meaningful.

 

Thinking about it, transition is possible for anyone, no matter where they are on the gender spectrum.  In my view, transition occurs when you finally accept and embrace who you are.  So, the next time I am asked: "how long ago did I transition," I’ll provide an answer that reflects the moment I fully-accepted my own transgender nature (and for any of you that might be curious, that occurred approximately 15 years ago).

[Charlize]

I certainly agree that one doesn't have to be full time to have transitioned.  There was a way of expressing that a few years back that i liked.  It was "trans*"  the * while just a type of punctuation was meant to include folks who simply had issues with gender. When i joined this group i wasn't full time.  I had dressed, traveled and interacted with the outside world as a woman off and on for many years.  I had found that satisfying but eventually the going back and forth as well as the way i had to hide myself from some made going full time a more comfortable option.

We are all trans* if not full time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Kaltia_Atlas]

Thats so amazing! Thank you for sharing this tid bit! It really helps me reaffirm my belief in what I am doing. 

 

I fully accepted myself a little over a year ago and came out to some of my family. Since then, I have become more feminine at home, spoken with my workplace and found such a diverse group of people at work that are going through transition, or are part of the LGBTQ+ IN some way. I have my therapist, I'm going to my first HRT appointment next month, and I am growing as the woman inside could have long ago. 

 

Thank you again for sharing this! It really does help, for me in this moment!

 

Hugs

Kali

[KayC]

1 hour ago, Sally Stone said:

In my case, transition actually occurred when I accepted and embraced my part-time nature. 

This is such a great line of thought, Sally.  I am happy you posted this, because so many of us are stuck on words and labels, and the perfect "end state".
I guess from what you said, and what I have come to realize is transition is like a "road trip".   It actually starts when you get IN the car (that self realization, first Ah-Hah! moment).  The rest of it is just part of the journey and the final destination is up to us.

Thanks for sharing this experience.  For me, I transitioned 5 years ago.  Still enjoying the ride❣️

[Emily michelle]

Very good point it doesn’t really matter when we transitioned, how long it took, or what we did. All that matters is we are happy with ourselves and happy with who we are. Labels are overrated.

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

transition is like a "road trip".   It actually starts when you get IN the car

KayC, I love this. I've been in the car for so long waiting for someone to drive me along. I never getting anywhere until I slid over and took control of the car. My movement started for real just last month, and girl not only was the road bumpy, I had to relearn how to drive a standard shift with an old clutch. My next service stop a local support group meeting the 4th Saturday of every month.

[Erikka]

Mental transition started 25 years ago while the physical began little by little, one piece of femininity at a time as I thought I could do it stealth,  about 15 years ago. Emotionally transitioning 3 1/2 years ago and  HRT 2 1/2 years ago. But. I knew I was transgender from about the age of four. At that age and in the decades of the 50's and 60's one just did not express it physically, mentally or emotionally, but it was always there.

Transitioning dates are very fluid and it is not a static thing. Parts of you transition early and others later. Overcoming the fear of exposure and the uncertainty of who you are determine your timeline. And that timeline is exclusively your own.

Velsignelser

Erikka

[Tori M]

Great topic, @Sally Stone.  This is something I've been trying to express lately.  When I first started transition, it was focused on a goal of reaching surgery.  But during my journey the focus changed.  I've realized that I've already transitioned, the rest is just nuts and bolts, so to speak. It's less about reaching something new and more about departing something old.  HRT is very helpful in that regard, so I was probably mostly transitioned within that first year of treatment.  Reaching our journey's destination is not the definition of transitioned.

[Heather Shay]

It seems that being each of us is an individal, every transition is different and unique to eacg individual. It seems like my known believe each of us was put here for a different reason and with their own unique journey. I am now 68 and with about a million messages along the way and so many misfires I'm now a step further and it took until now to find you guys, my support system and no matter how far I take my transition I know your love is unconditional as is mine towards you and that is sanctury and safe harbor.

 

[Dinaki]

My very first year of "transitioning" was 1974. Three years later, the surgery was done. 

When I say transitioning is like hormones, therapy by a psychiatrist and wearing dresses. Fortunately for me, my mom was very much supportive.

[Heather Shay]

Wonderful. Glad you received the support and had the courage then to move forward. I'm still in the fear stage

[Dinaki]

Small steps dear Shay. I had do endure so much during that time I recall. Back then it was terrible for someone to wear a dress and look different. Here in America from what I have read is a little different, better. At one point I recall, police had to call my mother and tell her that her s...( I hate the word to even say it) is at the police station because the "it" was wearing a dress full of make up on the face and that she needs to come pick me up. They told her to come with "appropriate clothing".

 

So yes, back then in Greece, the regime with was junta did not like us at all.

[Heather Shay]

Thank you for your encouragement. I reached out to another therapist in my area and she said she has experience with transgender. Then she said to call Kendra the secretary to set up an appointment and I realized that she works out of the same office my last psychologist works at and I hold her that was too awkward for me. But she did give me info in HRT resource in Columbis Ohio (about an hour from here) and I plan to call then I can mention it to my GP on Monday at my annual physical (if I don't chicken out). As I continue to go through my past it becomes more and more obvious my depression, anxiety, panic attacks, CD, anarexia, trouble hiding it from friends and family and current wife, first one left me when she had an affair (I've always had rejection fears and had my first wife leave me, my work place close down and a band I was in that was on the cusp of being signed by Atlantic Records self-implode) and that was in the early 80's and when I tried to stop music thinking that was the problem I nearly killed myself by running 6-8 hours a day and getting down to 98 pounds. I overcame that but it seems that every bandaid I put on the problem helps it to subside for a while but it roars back. 

 

You are one of my heroes because you found the courage to do what you needed to do, now I need to muster up the courage to keep going.

 

Again - THANK YOU SO MUCH

 

[Tori M]

9 hours ago, Shay said:

I'm still in the fear stage

 

That's ok, it's really scary, especially those first steps.  Keep climbing. ☺️

[KayC]

15 hours ago, Mmindy said:

and girl not only was the road bumpy, I had to relearn how to drive a standard shift with an old clutch.

Thanks, Mindy!  That's funny ... Like your analogy too!  I hear ya'?  Hope the support meetings go well. 

 

9 hours ago, Shay said:

I reached out to another therapist in my area and she said she has experience with transgender.

That's great Shay! that you 're actively making moves to go forward /

Waiting to go through some paperwork and assessment, then my first one-on-one therapy session to follow.  Can't wait❣️

[Heather Shay]

KayC congrats on therapist and i hope it is a great fit.