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how did you feel going to you hrt consult


Heather Shay

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Since I set up my consult to start HRT (T minus 4 days and then soon getting minus T(testosterone) it is getting easier to get up in the morning. I start doing my voice lessons and as the day goes on I know the wait time is going down and my excitement goes up. I haven't felt this good about the future in, like, forever. 

 

How did you feel when you finally scheduled going in HRT?

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About the same.  Whenever you take specific steps to make progress, dysphoria tends to reduce.  It is a great feeling.  I was a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, but it was a good feeling, more like excitement.  Starting HRT is one of those dates that you will always remember.

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Nervous. I was presenting full-time, but insecure in how feminine I looked. I was afraid everybody in the waiting room was judging me. I was worried that the endocrinologist would decide that I wasn't healthy enough for HRT and send me away empty-handed. Just a ball of anxiety that I got this far but I wouldn't QUITE make it over this hurdle.

 

Underneath all that, I was excited that I could finally start getting what I needed to feel like myself, but I was afraid to let myself hope. I was kind of a hot mess looking back. Obviously it worked out anyway. My endo said that, "No matter what your health, we can probably find something that will work for you."

 

Hugs!

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40 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

 Starting HRT is one of those dates that you will always remember.

 

For sure, will always remember July 15th 2011. I remember getting the patches, and applying my first one, as I headed off to a golf course gig, played some music that night as the E was first entering my system. My initial consult went well, I already had the referral, I signed some informed consent papers acknowledging the risks and benefits. I still have the same Dr today, she is wonderful and caring.

 

C

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2 hours ago, Shay said:

I haven't felt this good about the future in, like, forever. 

Congratulations @Shay The excitement is a big part of this as it does tend to shut down the blues (if only for a while).

 

It was a big deal but I had to look back to see the date.  My most memorable transgender moment was GRS surgery.

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thats too far out yet fot me but but now it is in my thought and wants list 

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First post for me here. I was excited, nervous, scared, etc, like so many of us. I hve been FT for almost 2 years before this date. January 15, 2020 I started my T-blocker, then February 14th I started my first Estrogen. I am just continuing to have wonderful, loving and understanding people injected to my life and transition. I must say, I have been in and out of therapy for decades so when the time came, I felt I had done as much groundwork as possible to make this smooth. And let me tell ya, my life is GLORIOUS on a daily basis. In  fact, i just had my orchiectomy June 26, 2020. And another wave of love and relief and acceptance of Madison being whom i am just lovingly washes over me. I have been very fortunate in my journey so far, truly. Also, sober from pills and alcohol 3+ years now has helped as well.

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You sound like your journey has had a similar road as mine and i feel I have done my ground work abd am,raring to go.

Shay

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Welcome Madison,

My first Endro visit was almost anticlimactic, I had talked up, down, over, under, sideways down with both my therapist and my psych for many months and months about if I was or wasn't trans. One day mjym therapist asked me point blank if I was ready for  HRT and did I want to do the hormones. It was a relief. I guess I had been looking for some sort of sign, something to tell me it was O.K. to do it. Had an almost identical conversation the next day with the psych. it was time.

Velsignelser

Erikka 

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thank you - with all the therapists, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anorexia, self medicating on hormones on gray market - I can't be any more ready. thank you for sharing.

Shay

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I didn't even know I was in my HRT consultation when it happened.  I walked into  what I thought had been a routine review of my chemical dependency progress with the supervising M.D. of the program where I had come out as Trans as part of addiction recovery and was hoping for a referral to Gender Counseling, but he and my therapist has already talked to the gender folks who told them to get me going on the HRT on the spot.  The Endo who saw me 2 months later did a few routine moves with a stethoscope on me, checked one liver panel from a recent blood test and wrote the prescription through a computer all in 10 minutes.  Almost anti-climactic.  

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Wow - sometimes I like it happening that sort of way instead of getting an appointment and waiting, waiting, waiting.... I'm happy you were able to start without too much bother other than the usual issues we then to have...

Shay

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My first visit was about 10% anxious and 90% curious. I knew what I needed but had absolutely no idea how the consultation will go or what they might ask me. Also I didn’t even bother with presentation at that time, was just my regular self. In the end it felt a lot like any other health checkup although a lot more personal questions ?

The most surreal was when I was picking up prescription at the pharmacy and they asked me which medication I was getting - I realised my only answer was “I have no idea” ? (they still gave it to me though)

 

XOXO

Valerie

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10 hours ago, Shay said:

How did you feel when you finally scheduled going in HRT?

To be honest I was a nervous wreck. I had not yet come out to my wife which made it extremely difficult. When I decided “the time to start HRT was now or never”,  I kept going through the online portal to see what dates/times where available. For two days, I kept signing in and checking on appointment availability but kept holding off claiming a date. Then the next day, I went online to recheck. There was only one appointment left two weeks out. The next available appointment after that was over a month away. So I looked again at the date/time again and accidentally clicked the wrong button (no joke) and scheduled it. At first I panicked. I tried to find the button to cancel but I was in a mild frenzy and couldn’t think straight. Eventually, when I found the way to cancel the appointment, I paused and thought...”I have got to do this” and I logged out. Those two weeks until the appointment seemed like months. I can still remember this like it just happened yesterday. It turned out to be one of the best mistakes I’ve ever made.

 

Susan R?

 

 

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I was very nervous. The whole month prior I was juggling in my head whether I was making a mistake. All I could think of was would I be happy with this decision, would I be an ugly woman, would I end up alone. But I knew I had to do it. I couldn't stop thinking about it, yearning so bad to be a woman. Like Susan, for me it was now or never. 

 

My doctors were very nice and it was a pleasant visit. I really look forward to our visits. Once I got on hrt, the worries went away, I just knew in my heart it was right. 

 

~Ton

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38 minutes ago, MaryMary said:

I'm curious about reading other's comments is how much people are coming before HRT and how much are coming out after or at the same time.

That is an interesting question. There’s even one other layer to add because I frequented this site for half a year before first setting up an account. I signed up here for a member account just 2 days before my first HRT appointment.

 

Susan R?

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Susan...it was destiny that pressed the schedule...

 

MaryMary - my answer is both, if you can believe it. 5 years ago i decided to go my hrt myself and bought gray market. i didnt tell my wife but she caught me and asked me to seek help. i stopped but the need kept roaring back. This time I told her before I scheduled the appoint. So its a tie with one vote in.

Shay

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Hi, I am only out to a limited number of people and not full time although I wish I could be.  So I made my first endocrinologist appointment over a year ago.  I guess you never are quite certain how that will go.  My wife was with me.  I’d come out to her about 9 months earlier.  We all talked.  Today, I’m still not full time but I’ve been on blocker for nine months and progesterone for 6.  Hoping after our next appointment he will add E.  Most appointments are video, but this one will be in person.  He will see Willow for the first time.  
 

Willow

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I was part-time, out to a few people, and attending support group meetings as Kathy when I started HRT.   I came out to the world and went full-time about three months later.

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Hi Shay 

Glad to see you so excited. It is just so good to know you are finally starting to be who you want to be. I wish you a safe trip with not too many bumps. lol there are always bumps that come up be sure to come here and talk about it as you have many friends here that will help you in your new journey. 

I went to the gender centre before I started and they wanted me to speak to a trans lady who was helping out those of us that wanted to start a new journey. She was great but I asked some really stupid questions.

I went to my endo to get my first dose of hormones I did have to have my blood  test done before but that was it. I was nervous, happy, excited and at peace all at the same time. I have never regretted my decision to learn to be who I wanted to be. 

I went back to my original doctor just to see how he was going. When I spoke to him he told be while I was his first trans woman that he had seen he has since had 3 others. Nice to be his first. He is a lovely man he is gay and been in his current relationship for over 30 years. I was pleased to see that.

Any way Shay enjoy your life to the fullest and may you find peace and happiness.

All my love 

Carrie 

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thank you..did not know i could smile and cry at the same time

Shay

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41 minutes ago, Shay said:

thank you..did not know i could smile and cry at the same time

Shay

 

Yeah, HRT is a real trip. Female emotions are so much broader and more colorful then male emotions. I've learned I can feel a lot of things that English doesn't have words for.

 

Hugs!

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as weird as this may sound at 68 i am looking forwars to new feelings to explore and appreciate for what they are and kbowing they,are ones i have always been supposed to be having.

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Hi. @Shay 68 is not too late to experience new things.  I had fought with myself not understanding.  Finally, at 68 I started seeing a therapist and now I’m on hrt.

 

Willow

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awesome....thank you . . my hrt consult is this thursday.  cannot wait... settle down anxiousness.

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