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transgender sexuality?


Rorelai

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Hey folks!

 

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality and how it's changed throughout the progression of my transition. Before I was out as a trans woman, I first came out as asexual, then bisexual, then gay, and eventually bisexual again. Basically, I've been here, and I've been queer for quite a while. Since transitioning though, I've had a couple... encounters with men and women, but for the most part I've been focusing inward to figure out who I am before I commit to a long term relationship. Lately though, I've had some time to think, and I'm pretty sure I'm exclusively interested in being with men. Even though I've dated women before, and I can appreciate their attractiveness, I just don't feel the same when I'm with a girl. I know that sexuality is pretty fluid and that labeling my attraction isn't the most important thing in the world, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit that I'm the straight friend. Of course, I know that I'm a woman, and I only want to date men that are attracted to woman. I almost feel as though in some nuanced way that still reflects that, my attraction to guys is still just a little bit gay, and maybe this feeling is somehow related to all the years that I grew up being told it was wrong to like other guys. IDK, if any of you girls (or guys or anyone in-between) wants to weigh in, I'd love to feel like I'm not the only one that's gone through something like this. 

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I've always been attracted to both women and men, and have had many sexual experiences with both throughout my life, pre and post transition. I have always felt more emotionally compatible with women though, and as such the majority of my relationships have been with women.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm married to a cis woman and my inner self wants a man to be with instead but doesn't want to give up my wife either so your not alone with it for sure I just crave for a man to hold me and be with me trying to work out some kind of compromise still don't know what it will be ....

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hope I'm not going too far off-topic here. But I wanted to say that, for me, I was always floridly heterosexual (based on my assigned gender as a male.) My struggles with my gender dysphoria would, I think, have made a lot more sense to me had I been gay. At least that's how it seems in retrospect. 

 

I've actually always been quite uncomfortable around men. They always seemed to just sense there was something "just not quite right" about me as a guy. Over time I did learn, to some extent, to watch my behaviors around men so as not to "slip-up" & give them something to comment on or leer at. (I've even had to do this to some extent with my wife.) Nevertheless, in the past, there was always the occasional slip-up. Now I'm pretty-much a total recluse (except for my wife.) So it tends to be less of a problem. 

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