I just got home from SRS and the experience was amazing, I’ll do my best to share the details

[jae bear]

OK, this is going to take some thinking so I’m gonna go through it carefully, but I’m going to start with a preface, I don’t experience pain like most others, a motorcycle accident 17 years ago changed my neurological systems forever, and kind of helped me out since I am numb on the right side below the waist, it helped out in a way that I didn’t expect and I don’t want everyone to think that the experience I had is what everyone will have because I went through this experience with zero pain, it might happen for you but I just want you to know upfront I don’t feel pain like everybody else.

 

I went to surgery on Tuesday, feeling great, zero anxiety no worries, I got my work done ahead of time so I didn’t have any problems spending a month on my own relaxing and taking care of myself. I went through admitting and headed up to the surgery floor on the fourth floor, got all prepped for surgery, IVs and EKG wires, relaxed a little bit and went off to the surgery suite. Chitchatted with the doctors, talked a little about what the goals were, told him I wanted to use the left side of the glans just to make sure that I was fully sensate when finished. That was about all we talked about, other than the area that would be taking the graft for a full depth.
I went out in the usual way, nighty night and away I went, I woke up in a similar fashion to surgeries that I am accustomed to, I felt pretty OK, and immediately realized, I was feeling no pain at all, only some rather severe discomfort from the catheter. The discomfort faded away in a few hours,  nurses came and brought me meds here and there and I just rested, put the relaxing channel on the TV, landscapes and beaches, felt nice and I drifted into another nap. The next day was OK, I stayed in bed, they didn’t want me getting up, and that was the only irritation I felt, the discomfort from laying in bed all day and my lower back and booty really wanted to get up and do some walking, but that would be for the next day.
I was ready to get up and walk when they said I could, so they helped me get ready, put my little socks on, tied my gown around my tail, gave me a walker and out I went. We were trailing my IV pole and Foley, which was hanging on the walker, and we made several rounds and I got to look around and say hello to people, very nice experience, I enjoyed it and still noticed I wasn’t having pain. I did that a few more times that day and really enjoyed every moment. By evening I had my meal time and  I enjoyed every morsel of the food they had prepared for me, I was really excited every time someone came from the kitchen to let me order my next meal...

The next day was similar to the last but with a little more independence, and they noticed I was taking care of myself, changing the pads and the super fluffy sponges that are 4“ x 4“ on a regular basis by myself keeping myself tidy, an important task that must be done often. They told me that since I had just been disconnected from my IV pole because I wasn’t using any pain meds, and it was very independent they thought I was just fine to go out on my own whenever I pleased as long as I used the walker, and I agreed that for me it was the safest option since I have a badly damaged and mostly paralyzed right leg.

The coming day was a good one, going out walking whenever I want, talking with other patients and giving them encouragement since they looked like they were struggling, they really appreciated the fact that I told them they could really make a difference in their recovery if they just gave it what they could as often as possible, they understood I’ve been through this before and even though the medical staff told them this already,  somehow the light clicked on in their eyes and they realized this girl actually knows what she’s talking about and they would simply tell me “I’m going to keep doing this, clearly it works”. After that I noticed so many patients on the floor I thought about organizing some kind of race!
We were all cleaning the floor With our little socks that it was noticeably cleaner and the dust was down, it simply gathered on our little socks, the staff thought this was hilarious and we started becoming human roombas  wandering the halls having a good time, even though some patients were having great pain they muscled through and did what they needed to because they realized there was some kind of camaraderie in the hallways and everyone was getting better.
I moved onto day five with a similar feeling, completely independent, I didn’t want the cleaning staff to have to do very much, I still hadn’t had any pain at all and I felt quite good, aside from the Neurontin making me just a wee bit dizzy, it was totally manageable, the Walker was just a good safety blanket and I continue using it. I would often cruise past nurses at their stations noting that they all were looking at the same screen, and I would mutter, “cat videos again?”, And the laughter would rise as everyone knew I was just having fun with all of them, I’m sure I probably kept some of them from working when I chatted with them so long but they actually enjoyed it.
I made a lot of friends there, I had a really good time there, I can’t believe I didn’t have any pain, and it’s really odd that I was having trouble pinning down exactly how I was feeling about this whole experience, I had just gotten everything I’ve ever wanted, it was going incredibly well, but I didn’t really have a sense of feeling that I thought I should’ve had, I had no rising sense of joy and elation, I didn’t really have much of a feeling at all I was just sort of relieved. So on the sixth day I decided I was going to determine how I felt and I had to think about it, it became clear, in was an enormous sense of peace, a satisfaction and contentment that was palpable, everything was correct now and I felt like everything in my path was turning into gold, everything was about to go right and I could feel it, and as I have been experiencing this I can tell you things are starting to go right in my life in a way that I never thought they would. The level of positivity about my future is off the chart, I do feel very good about everything that’s going on, I’m going back to school to change my career, to work with somebody I really like, I still have the ability to pull income from my old job and do some consulting on the side, I have a really nice car that’s very dependable, I have friends in my life who are dear to me and I absolutely adore, I have mentors backing me up and reminding me of what really matters, and I still realized I’ve never had pain, this whole thing happened and it was pain-free, now I know that might not be for everybody but I’d expected some pain and all I had was a good time I enjoyed every minute of my day, I watched TV, I relaxed, I joked with the nurses and had lots of walks, I actually was going to miss this place, if I thought I could’ve hung out for a couple more days just because I could I absolutely would!
Don’t get me wrong it’s nice to be home, but those people and the things I did there were so fantastic it was one of the most pleasurable and fun things I’ve done on any vacation I can remember, including Disneyland or Disney World, I really enjoyed myself and I felt really good about everything that was happening, what I was receiving as well as my state of mind and how I felt about my future.
At the very end I met the manager of the nurses, he walked in and immediately I realized he looked like my uncle Nick, who had passed away in the early 90s, the one person in the world I actually told everything to. I immediately told him that I felt that way and he said “well don’t discount that, strange things happen all the time!” I accidentally said “thanks uncle Nick” at one point and he turned to me and said “you’re welcome Jackie“ and he walked out, I was just stunned, it’s as if my uncle knew all about me, loved me, he was essentially my father, and visited me on the last day of this journey, it was overwhelming and the       feeling      felt      good.

My dad drove me home that afternoon  and we had a great time, we joked incessantly and he’s so funny, I absolutely adore my dad and love spending time with him, it’s amazing how my life has turned into something so much better than I envisioned, ever, when I started this journey I thought I was losing everything, but I realize now I’m getting more than I ever thought I would, it’s funny how you have to be willing to accept what’s happening around you, that you can simply accept  it and say to yourself “there are positive things that will happen”, to tell yourself and believe that happiness is simply in the mind, satisfaction and contentment are simply a state of mind, I know many will argue, but this has been the truth for my life and everything is turning up in an amazing fashion of positivity. I’m so happy to be able to share this amazing experience with all of you, I simply hope your experience is as wonderful as mine, may you be pain-free and have a fantastic experience, life-changing and positive Conclusion to your journey.

hugs to all of you, every single one,

Jackie

[Lexi C]

Wow Jea 

That so amazing. What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing. I will try to think positive thoughts  for us both. Love and Hugs. Very Proud that you have let me into your journey 

[KayC]

8 hours ago, jae bear said:

when I started this journey I thought I was losing everything, but I realize now I’m getting more than I ever thought I would

If everybody who comes to this Forum could read only one statement ... it would be this one.

 

Thank you for sharing everything, Jackie!  You bring so much positivity to everyone, you deserve all the Joy and Happiness that comes your way❣️

(that's how Life works)

[Jani]

Yes that one statement sums things up nicely.  You have to look at (and for) the bright side of life.  Its there!

 

Jani

[Guest]

Im  happy for you hun . You Give us hope and  help ease  or fear thanks @jae bear  hugs  

[Mia Marie]

I can only hope to make it to where you are. You are the inspiration needed to defeat the fear of the world. Next week I have my first HRT appointment and my hope is to make it as far as you have. Thank you for being you and all the inspiration you offer.

[Dinaki]

@jae bear 

[KathyLauren]

I am glad it all went well, Jackie, and that you are safely home!  You look very happy in your picture.

[claire1000]

The smile on your face says it all, you look so happy

[jae bear]

Thank you, all of you, I’m so glad to be home but some of me does miss the hospital, being able to press that little red button and have an ice pack come to me with a smile anytime I wanted it is some thing I sorely missed, and I do mean “sorely“. I had a really great time at that hospital, those people are just magical, and apparently my surgeon is also magical, I have no idea how he managed to do what he did where I wake up without having any pain, I am extremely fortunate to have been in the right place with the right surgeon at the right time! It means a great deal to me to hear from all of you, to read your words, This forum is where I started, from the very beginning, when I finally decided to get a therapist, to start HRT and not quit,  to come out to my doctors, and my spouse, work, friends, family until there was no one left to tell. And though I knew the seas were about to get choppy , this forum helped me hang onto that wheel, and weather the storm. I look at this from the rearview mirror, three years ago I got that all important therapist, I have now been through four surgeries, three years of HRT, and a brand new me. Throughout the process I felt like time was standing still or at least only passing as fast as that secondhand showed me it was moving, then time would speed up to hyper sonic levels as surgery dates arrived, then they passed and it slowed again. Looking cumulatively at three years the change is unbelievable, and I am incredibly grateful that I can draw and gather strength from the fantastic people here at this forum!

[Jackie C.]

You look fantastic! I can't help notice that you're sitting on the edge of the bed though. Sitting on the site HURT. I'm glad you've been spared that.

 

Hugs!

[Jani]

Looking, and sounding good!

[Kylie]

@jae bear I have been following you on youtube for a good while now and have gained a lot from your conversation and giggles! I am not a social media type person so all I know how to do is watch the videos. I still haven't figured out the in and outs of youtube!

Glad to see recovery is going well and you're remaining in good spirits. Makes my heart happy and helps me put my mind at ease for mine in just 13 days!

[jae bear]

@Kylie   Wow, that’s coming up quick, I remember being at that mark myself, that time is going to go fast get your things ready, pack your bags! You probably need to bring less things than you think you do, I brought three different tops, underwear and socks, a couple different pajama bottoms and all I did was live in my hospital gown the entire time, never using any of the clothes I brought. I did use my toiletry kit, taking a birdbath with a stack of wash cloths  in the sink inside my room kept me feeling fairly fresh, brushing my teeth and having deodorant were fairly important, wasn’t sure if I needed to bring a razor because I’ve been going to Electrolysis for several years but towards the end I saw some hairs pop up so the razor came out and knocked them flat! I will definitely need an electrolysis visit here and there as they continue to pop up once in a while but it’s nothing like it once was and I’m so glad for that! Seems like they just keep Finding new ways to sprout under my chin and down my neck...
don’t worry about getting the jitters, you’re going to be so happy you won’t even feel that, have no worries, no anxieties, just roll in there and do your thing, you’re going to love the way everything turns out all you have to do is get there, lie down and do exactly what they tell you during recovery, when the time comes to get up and walk do whatever it takes, you might feel awful initially but fantastic eventually, if you have a positive mental attitude that will change everything and you may have an experience like mine. Just a bit of discomfort followed by a bit of effort and less discomfort. I wish you all the best my dear, as many have said to me I hope all your dreams come true!

Great big hugs,

 Jackie rabbit ? 

[QuoraQ]

Oh my! Look at that picture! It's like trying to look at the sun! You're shining kind glowy! I'm such a spaz... Bet leaving the hospital food behind was a bit bittersweet huh? Wanted to thank you again for helping me find this forum! Thank you for being YOU! Keep making your videos and we'll keep on watching them. Those of us who have already gotten a chance to get to know you AND all the other girls out there that you have yet to inspire in the future! 

Peace, hugs n blessingz,

❤️ - Kora

[Maddee]

Congratulations Jackie!

 

I love the attitude you display throughout the experience.  And inspiring others there.

 

Human roombas ?

[Susan R]

Congratulations @jae bear What an experience ...your description of it was very moving and helpful to many here. I’m happy for you and wish you a very fast recovery.

My Best,

Susan R?

[Heather Shay]

you really are making it easier for me to proceed with my first bottom surgery consult this coming Thursday...thank you... and congrats....your smiles tell it all....

[Heather Shay]

please forgive me but if you mentioned your surgeon i missed it. Who did your surgery. if i havent contacted i would like to.

 

[Elyssia]

Great to hear that everything went well. Hope you continued with your recovery.

Hope you can pm, me

[BrandiBri]

Jackie you are sooo beautiful! I decided to pursue the surgery myself just last week and your words are a true inspiration to me. I teared up just reading your description and realizing that anything is possible if we want it badly enough. 

 

Hugs, Brandi 

[Kylie]

I love these posts! They have given me so much hope in my surgery! I fly out to Texas Friday morning at 7am and have some labs done at this hospital and then quarantine at the hotel until Wednesday! August 5th is the big day! Wild thing is, that that is my 2 year anniversary on hormones! What wonderful times ahead, love seeing all the positive comments here despite the current world crisis!

[Heather Shay]

congrats...i am envious...mine isnt until next year....will be thinking of you and hoping all goes well and pains eases both physically and mentally as the moment is finally here.

[Kylie]

Thank you so much @Shay . My friends are seeing me off at the airport Monday - definitely excited for this to be all happening - yet leaving my beloved cat for 2 to 3 weeks has me so upset. in the 12 years I have had him I have not been away this long from him. But he will be receiving all the love from my friends each and every day of the week; someone will be staying in the house with him. Still, it is heart wrenching!

[Heather Shay]

i bet. i still miss my last two dogs  they are cremated andxwaiting for me. when i pass i want to be cremated and mix my ashes abd theirs and spread us in the woods... our favorite place to be.

 

take care... you are so beatiful inside and finally the outside will fully match.

Mental Hugs, 

Shay