First Appointment Today

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

Hi everyone

I just had my first appointment today and I think it went alright we coverd alot. He asked me a bunch of questions like why I was there and what I expected to get out of it. I told him that I was there because I have gender issues and would like to set some goals.I am also depressed and have had sucicidal thoughts. He then asked when I started feeling like this? I said since I was 8-9 years old, he then procceded to ask why I never did anything about it in the past? Well because I was still coming to terms with it and getting over my fears. He wanted to know if any of my family knows about my gender issues? My brother does and my mom found out once and blew up saying that I was sick and had to move out,and get my own car insurance and ended with her saying that she disowned me a few days went by and she asked me to do something and would follow with can you handle that infering I was weak. He then started asking about my family and what they do for a living and were my brother goes to college and for what? My brother is going to the University of Chicago for his graduate school to become a math professor. Some of the questions he asked I felt were a little personal. He asked about my schooling and how I was doing? I am in college for Business Admin and I am barely passing. He also asked what classes were my worst? math, accounting, some engilish. The other questions he asked were what do I do when I am with friends well I go out to eat when I hang out with my female friend, and when I hang out with my buddy we listen to music, watch movies, drink a little, I almost told him that we have smoked pot in the past. So he pretty much just asked questions the whole session which I guess is to help find a way of helping me in my transition and to get to know me better. Surprisingly he didnt use any pronouns like he or she or anything like that. The other thing he mentioned it was almost one of the first things said was that he follows the HBS. I will have to wait until next monday to make my final decission on if I want to work with him or not.

I felt a great weight lifted off my shoulders after I left to have finally told someone in real life and I found out that he only works with Transgender people and anyone who has gender issues which is kind of nice because that means that he has had enough in the past that he knows what he is talking about and knows what it is.

Alyssa

[Guest Evan_J]

WOOT! Congratulations Alyssa. Good start.Yeah, what he did firing off those questions to you is "typical" I think. And believe it or not, I probably could speculate as to the reasoning behind some of the questions as "unrelated" to you as they may seem. Amazing what ends up being relative If he was "professional" and you didn't have a sense of him being a closet transphobe or something he doesn't particularly sound like a bad therapist though. Of course, personal comfort is the final word. In my first two sessions my therapist had a preprinted packet of questions. No I didn't get to read it myself and he "fired em off". There were enough pages to the thing that it took two visits to finish You're on your way lady! And even if you switched therapists I think it'd count that you saw this one too a little bit

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

He wasnt tranphobic at all he said that he only deals with transgender people and anyone who has gender issues and he has worked with the GBLT community for many years.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Alyssa...

That's great, Sweetheart!

Now you've got your foot in the door. Push it open a tad further...

See, a therapist may ask seemingly "Stupid"or very personal questions. They want to have your response as a gauge... They need to find where you are...The question may seem non related, but it all fits a pattern that they use in their evaluation of you.....

For months my therapist would throw me "Bombs" out of the blue to see if I could field them and test me. Drove me crazy...but I caught them!

"Do you ever think of just giving all of this hassle up and just go back to being male"??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

Oh no you don't Dr. Spock!

And if he said that he follows the SOC, well...he's probably a straight shooter....

Still, it's up to you...you sign the check...you are the one who will have to open up and let it all out to him and if you don't think that you can be comfortable with him...keep looking..

Congratz, Sweetie..you are in it now!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Alyssa,

You must feel so great!! You have broken the ice and started to talk to a professional about being transgendered!! That is such wonderful news!! I am so happy for you!! Another big step in the journey!!

Love

bernii

[Guest bronx]

Good stuff.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

He wasnt tranphobic at all he said that he only deals with transgender people and anyone who has gender issues and he has worked with the GBLT community for many years.

SOOOOO GOOOOOD

Stay with it!

You have a great start - I hope it works for you. A trust needs to be established between therapist and client. You can probably tell him you smoke pot if you want... he is on your side - heck, he might do it too...

Seriously - be brutally honest! It saves so much time!

Some opinions

Lizzy

[Sally]

It sounds like he is pretty good, he has to find out about you before he can help you to find your path - we are all different and he has to know you to help.

My therapist asked all of those same questions but in her office it is more like being in a friend's family room but the questions were asked, they have to be.

If you can feel comfortable talking to this man then stay with him, he seems to know all of the right stuff.

Never stay with someone that you can not be comfortable wit, you will never respond totally without adjusting your answers.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Ashlee]

Alyssa,

That is wonderful!

I basically had the same experience with both of my therapists. Lots of questions about family life, siblings, parents, the whole family tree... I never thought it would end...

But, now I understand that it gives the therapist your background, how you may have been raised, what your homelife was like.

He is just trying to "figure you out!"

Your on the right track, keep it up!

{HUGS}

Ashlee

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

Thank you everyone for replying. now I know it wasn't just a bad therapist but someone that is trying to find out about my background and how I was raised. I neglected to say that he asked me to write a one page biography about my life since I was young to now. I am most likely to stay with him as a therapist.

Alyssa