Should i tell my TG friend to stop wasting money on surgeries?

[Lexi C]

So I have m2f TG friend. She a very nice woman, but regardless of the money she has spend already on surgeries she will never look like a woman. 

She had her face done, voice, bottom, hair transplant and now she want to go overseas and get her chest, butt and some kinda of experimental weight lose surgery..

She 58 , had to quit her job cause she was taken way to much time off , and she not smart with money. She wants to spend her life saving on this trip.

and like i  said it would not matter. Even after all she done, she still looks Bernie Rubble. 

I get it her anxiety.  We all see this young You Tube hotties or these actress who successful transition into gorgeous woman ,we all want to be beautiful. But  

 

I never be honest with her about her looks. Everything She ask, I  always tell her she looks as beautiful as want to feel.

But i think i am letting her down here.

Should i jump in, stop her!

 

 

 

[SL]

If you do talk to her about it I would center the conversation around being concerned about her financial decisions since spending one's life savings without a job is not a great idea. I think we all fear we will never look like the image we have in our minds so I definitely wouldn't mention that you don't think she'll look like a woman in the end. Maybe recommend her pausing further surgeries and focusing on finding a job so that she is more financially stable in the long run. I mean there is a chance there will be some sort of complication with something or she has a family emergency and needs money for those things. I think she should continue if she really feels like she needs it, but a little moratorium could be in order. I think going overseas for surgeries and an experimental weight loss surgery sounds a little sketchy too, but I guess that depends on where it is and the health standards there. 

[Carolyn Marie]

A couple of questions come to mind, Lexi:  first, does she have a therapist?  Second, while you mention many surgeries, you don't mention GCS.  Has she gone through that?  If she has a therapist (a G.T., preferrably) I would ask her if she has discussed her plans with them?  If not, I would urge her to do so, because she seems to need that kind of a talk.

 

If she hasn't had GCS yet, I would ask her why not?  Why prioritize the surface features when the thing that most trans people want is to confirm their gender.  If she hasn't or won't prioritize that, then I would wonder if she is just experiencing a kind of fetish.

 

Obviously I don't know your friend, and I'm not trying to act the role of a psychologist (nor do I play one on T.V.).  Even if I was one, you can't diagnose psych problems third hand on an internet forum.  All that said, I think your friend needs some serious talking to or talking with.  There  are some troubling self-image issues going on I think.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Lexi C]

Hey Carolyn

Is GCS bottom surgery,? I could never get that straight. And yes she done that? Hey Mary and JL. 

I told her what i thought. I plead with her to spend her money on good GT or even a trainer. I even mention to her that if she with out job now ( she on PUE and food stamp) that she might qualify for Medical. 

She was furious with for tell her that all the surgeries have not made a difference. I told her that's ok not to be a model or prefect CIS. She smack me in the face  and said she dosen't want to see anymore. 

I said well that's a  big relieve now i can go back to not worrying  about her.

Door slammed ,

cat meow loudly,

plant vase smash against the stair case and car peel off

One down

Two more friends to go.  Thank god their both straight and both  Married.

Although, I do think one them is closed....You know what i feeling Lucky i think i will call and ask him 2mor. 

 

Thank everyone for your advice

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KayC]

10 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

There  are some troubling self-image issues going on I think.

 

I agree with Carolyn.  I don't think this was a transition issue.  There are so many cis-women addicted to plastic surgery.  I'm not a psychologist either, but I would recommend she spend money on finding one to help before she goes farther.

That's a pretty difficult thing to recommend to somebody, but I hope you can find a way that she can come to that conclusion herself. 

Sorry your friendship had to end this way, Lexi ❤️

 

[Lexi C]

Thanks Kay

I am actually relief.. She was beginning to ask me for money which is never a good thing.